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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not speak to my mum..

2 replies

thelonewanderer87 · 03/07/2022 22:48

I left my verbally and towards the end sexually abusive partner at the start of the year, taking my 5 year old and 3 month old baby with me to my parents while he kept the house.
I'd been trying to get a council house as I was a SAHM so had very little money.
I got a job, started seeing someone, was doing well.
My mum drinks a lot but hides it. She will be slurring on a night, denying drinking and then I find a glass. I don't care about her drinking it's the lying.
Last night I was looking for some clothes for my son and I just said he needed another drawer or more space as currently his clothes are in 1 drawer and it's just not enough.
She just blew up at me. Saying my baby has loads of clothes my eldest has nothing (I just spent £50+ on new clothes for my eldest, I buy mainly second hand for my baby as she's growing so quick) Saying I pay more attention to my baby and not my eldest, throwing up how I didn't even want my baby (I was really unwell during pregnancy and after birth, almost admitted to mother and baby unit), how my son won't remember me when he grows up, will only remember them. The thing is I get no help at all with my baby, which is fine she's mine.. but I have to show her more attention for that reason. She's also crawling and puts a lot in her mouth, she needs constant watching over. In the 6 months I'd lived with my parents mum had never given her a bottle, changed her nappy.. if she's with her for any reason and realises she's pooed she will leave her sat in it.
I was so angry I said "fuck off" and walked out. We stayed in a hotel the night. I'm now living back with my ex sharing a bed with the kids. I have no where else to go.
Have I been out of order? It's all such a mess.

OP posts:
eldora · 03/07/2022 23:12

I’m sorry you’ve had to return to your abusive ex. Call Women’s Aid. Who owns/rents the property?

Your mum is an alcoholic. She’s not someone you should be letting take care of your dc. You say you don’t care about her drinking, and that’s fine, but it does sound like there’s not much love between you and your parents.

I hope you get away from your ex asap.

redastherose · 04/07/2022 22:43

You are not wrong not to speak to your mum. Contact women's aid and find another option rather than staying in a house with an abusive man though.

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