Angry parking man

crochetmonkey74 · 2022-07-03T10:25:07+00:00

I've posted about him before , we live in an unrestricted parking terraced road near a park. Not many people have drives. He's convinced himself he's entitled to the space outside his house. He's shouted at me before and he's very large and I find him physically frightening. Last night I arrived home late and parked outside his house. This morning, he was literally HAMMERING on my front door so loud it was scary. I didn't answer of course, left it enough time so he didn't think I immediately reacted and now I have escaped to a coffee shop in scruffy clothes, no make up having a little cry to myself. I feel pathetic, I'm normally a you have to stand up to bullies person but given the recent story where someone was killed in a parking row I just feel scared. I'm a bit emotionally fragile and exhausted at the moment anyway for a number of reasons. I guess my question is AIBU to just let him have his way and cave to the bully?

Cheeserton · 03/07/2022 11:29

No. Any further intimidation whatsoever, Police. Every time.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 11:49

Thank you, I feel better being out of the house and getting some perspective. I agree about the police. I hate how bullies think they can just scare you, but he really has

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courtrai · 03/07/2022 11:50

Log everything, photos etc. and 101 it every time. I'd also get a ring doorbell if you can.

Happyplace88 · 03/07/2022 11:52

Well done for standing up for yourself. It’s hard especially if you strongly dislike confrontation but don’t let him intimidate you! Agreed with PP any further aggression then call the police, they will put him firmly in his place

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 11:55

I think I'll park away from his house from now on, even if it's the next street. And definitely getting a ring doorbell!

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WonderingWanda · 03/07/2022 12:04

What an arsehole. Call the police next time. I can't stand bullies.

WonderingWanda · 03/07/2022 12:05

And park wherever you like.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:10

WonderingWanda · 03/07/2022 12:05

And park wherever you like.

This is what I have been doing but he has scared me today. Previously, he has waited to shout at me when he's seen me go to my car, now he's crossed the boundary of expecting he can knock on my door and insist I move my car. Plus it wasn't a knock, he was fist hammering my door. I guess I'm worried about him crossing that boundary

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GerryAtrick · 03/07/2022 12:14

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:10

This is what I have been doing but he has scared me today. Previously, he has waited to shout at me when he's seen me go to my car, now he's crossed the boundary of expecting he can knock on my door and insist I move my car. Plus it wasn't a knock, he was fist hammering my door. I guess I'm worried about him crossing that boundary

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I'd say he has already won. Thread over.

itsgettingweird · 03/07/2022 12:14

We'll surely if you arrived home late last night he didn't want or need the space?

Where was he parked?

Ring doorbell is a good idea but I hate that we need to protect ourselves this way at our own expense because of entitled twats.

But please don't change what you do. I wouldn't park there if other spaces are available but if it's the only one and he's not using it then you have every right.

I take it he doesn't hammer on the door of the person in front of your house or care about others being parked in front of?

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:20

itsgettingweird · 03/07/2022 12:14

We'll surely if you arrived home late last night he didn't want or need the space?

Where was he parked?

Ring doorbell is a good idea but I hate that we need to protect ourselves this way at our own expense because of entitled twats.

But please don't change what you do. I wouldn't park there if other spaces are available but if it's the only one and he's not using it then you have every right.

I take it he doesn't hammer on the door of the person in front of your house or care about others being parked in front of?

No he doesn't, and also doesn't do it to our male neighbours

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Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:21

GerryAtrick · 03/07/2022 12:14

I'd say he has already won. Thread over.

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No, the thread is not over. The thread is here for support and chat about something that upset me and I have no support in re life to talk about it with

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StaplesCorner · 03/07/2022 12:23

Have you reported to police previously op?

boopdeflouff · 03/07/2022 12:23

Agree with ring doorbell/recording his actions and calling the police

itsgettingweird · 03/07/2022 12:23

I didn't think so.

Have your phone ready every time you leave the house and film him when he's being abusive. I know you're scared and that's what he's banking on. But he needs to see you aren't intimated and you will make and take evidence of every bit of abuse.

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:25

StaplesCorner · 03/07/2022 12:23

Have you reported to police previously op?

No I haven't. He's been arsey once following a note on the car. Then aggressive once.

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Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:26

itsgettingweird · 03/07/2022 12:23

I didn't think so.

Have your phone ready every time you leave the house and film him when he's being abusive. I know you're scared and that's what he's banking on. But he needs to see you aren't intimated and you will make and take evidence of every bit of abuse.

Yes great idea I can have the phone on video ready just in case. Isn't it horrible to feel so unsettled in your own home ? I can't wait to move!

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Ifailed · 03/07/2022 12:30

If you have Neighbourhood Policing, contact them with details, emphasising he is scaring you. Might take a bit of time and persistence (don't lie or exaggerate though) but they will come round and have a word. From what you've said I'd guess he's already known to them.

gingersplodgecat · 03/07/2022 12:32

Oh, so he's one of those, is he? So he doesn't speak aggressively to male neighbours like that, he just likes to intimidate a lone woman. Charming.

I agree with others, you need to speak to the police about this. Can you contact your local PCSO and ask them to come round to your house for a quiet chat about it, and ask their advice?

Alternatively, do you happen to know any large intimidating-looking men who could possibly come over the next time you have to park there? Having someone like that open the door to him the next time he hammers on it might put him off a bit.

Mememene · 03/07/2022 12:34

Id phone the police it's likely they'll just have a word with him and point out the legal position regarding parking. I had a neighbour who thought he'd bash at my door at 3 am when my son was having a sleep over with friends, we were all asleep at the time but he complained about the outside light.

Anyway the community police visited the bully and I've never had another peep out of him.

custardbear · 03/07/2022 12:35

Ring the police, it's harassment and intimidation - quick visit from the Plod should sort his attitude

Original poster

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:37

For those saying ring the police, has he done enough to report? He has hammered on my door. I do have access to a PCSO through work so will talk to him tomorrow. I'm also slightly scared of provoking him if I call the police. I feel so pathetic

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courtrai · 03/07/2022 12:41

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:37

For those saying ring the police, has he done enough to report? He has hammered on my door. I do have access to a PCSO through work so will talk to him tomorrow. I'm also slightly scared of provoking him if I call the police. I feel so pathetic

If report it - it'll generate an incident no. Which can evidence ongoing harassment if it ever became legal

Mememene · 03/07/2022 12:46

crochetmonkey74 · 03/07/2022 12:37

For those saying ring the police, has he done enough to report? He has hammered on my door. I do have access to a PCSO through work so will talk to him tomorrow. I'm also slightly scared of provoking him if I call the police. I feel so pathetic

He has intimidated you, that's enough. You don't want him arrested or sent down for 6 months, but a PCSO will have a talk to him and put him in his place, they'd rather act as a peacemaker than deal with it with when it escalates.

If he does it again afer they've visited then you have got yourself a record of the incidents. We had an old chap in our road who didn't own a car but bought and taxed a banger to put it into "his" spot, silly old fool.

countrygirl99 · 03/07/2022 12:46

A few years ago I had a neighbour like this. Big bloke, very aggressive. It was before smart phones so I bought a cheap dictations and as soon as I held it up for him to see he shot inside. We are still both in the same houses and I haven't heard a peep from him since.