My 2 year old pays no attention to his brother

[Dowhatdowullywup]

My baby is 6 months. My older child has just turned 2 yrs old.

I've recently noticed my older dc goes through each day not really engaging or playing with his brother. I get they are at very different stages in terms of play but I'm just wondering if there should be more interaction?

He does acknowledge him and talk about him and sometimes goes up and kisses him but other then that he just gets on with his own thing and says stop it when the baby grabs a book he's reading or toy etc.

There is a 20 month age gap. Will it stay like this with big bro seeing little bro as nuisance or will they gradually get closer? Just looking for mums with same age gap who've been through something similar..
I see other toddlers being very affectionate to younger siblings albeit on social media and probably not like that all the time and may be a bit older

I have boys with a 10 month age gap, both currently 5 y/o. I genuinely thought having them so close together they would be best friends/inseparable! But in all honesty, the older 5 y/o paid absolutely NO attention to his little brother until he started walking/talking. Even now they just have different interests/different sets of friends and barely do anything together!

2 year olds don't play with other 2 year olds, let alone babies. I wouldn't t worry too much at all, what you have described is normal.

I think that is a normal developmental thing for a just turned two year old. They don't play with kids at this age, they play alone.

Plus, very young children are also inherently self centred. Your older child is still too young to put others needs before his own.

Give it a couple of years and I'm sure if you reward positive behaviour towards each other then they'll be close.

My two are 15 months apart. They are now tweens and I still point out and praise kindness towards each other. They never hurt each other and enjoy each other's company. Any negative behaviour like hurting each other was pulled up when they were small and they were given lots of positive praise. They're like best friends.

Your child is 2. Two. He is a baby himself. Why do you have such high expectations of him. He probably wouldn't even play with another 2yo so a baby is just the same.

Children only really start to recognise the value of other children once they're about 3. It's part of their innate survival mechanism. When they do start taking notice it's usually initially to see the other child as a "threat" to what's "theirs". It's why there are so many threads about sibling jealousy with small children, why a child's behaviour can go awry with the birth of a baby brother or sister and why they all go walloping each other at nursery in manner of Fred Flintstone until they hardwire the fact that being together can be nice.
They grow out of it.

I could've written this a year ago- 15 month age gap between mine. It does get better.

He’s 2, FGS 😂

My eldest pretty much ignored his brother for the first 18 months of his life! There's 2 1/2 years between them. In fact he actively refused to make eye contact with him for the first 3 months!

It was only when we took a 3 week trip back to the Uk when DS2 was 18 months old and they only had each other to play with, that they started to interact more.

They're 10 & 8 now and great friends! Don't worry too much!

V normal. My eldest thought her younger sister was an annoyance at best or was totally indifferent for a number of years. Completely changed once youngest was about 21/2 and could be a playmate. They’ve got closer ever since and play really nicely together now. The younger one just takes a while before they are useful to the older one.

Mine started noticing his sister when he hit about two and a half. He's 2y10m now and they're inseparable. I have to close the door where she naps in her cot or he'll go up every few minutes to "check" on her and wake her up with his excitement. She's 7mo now.

The opposite came as a shock to me.

Theres a 4.5 year age gap between my older two boys and until the oldest was about 14, they hung out together and played with each other constantly when they were little. Really close, best friends.

I always assumed you needed a small
age gap for that closeness but I've learned that isn't the case.

Im not sure if it's the bigger age gap, or perhaps just personalities though? I've always wondered.

That's normal at that age, it's called parallel play. Give them a few years and I'm sure they'll be fine.

Although mine definitely aren’t best friends, there’s also never any arguing/fighting between them! They just sort of acknowledge one another!
But there is something special about the 2 of them- the younger brother has a severe speech disorder which makes it near impossible to understand what he is saying (and due to this is quite an anxious boy) but his older brother knows exactly what he is saying and luckily they are in the same year in school which has (in my opinion) given little brother a lot more confidence/courage knowing his big brother is there if he needs him. So yes, it’s a strange one, because although they are completely different people into completely different things, I know they also couldn’t be without each other just knowing the other brother is around is ‘enough’ for them!

He's 2. As far as he's concerned, the baby is an uninteresting potato that cries, and annoys him by touching his stuff.
Expecting way too much im afraid.

No one can say wether the older one will become more interested.

small gaps are never a guarantee of siblings been interested in each other. No age gap is, but I know lots of people who have kids close together with the assumption their kids will be closer and it’s just not worked out like that.

Its just not something anyone can predict

Mine are 18mo and 3.5 years and they do okay together now. I'd say its only just started in the last few months

Play* not okay

We’ve got a 22month age gap. Our toddler considers the baby a novelty he can cuddle and tickle. He brings him toys to play with etc. But then he definitely just ignores him the rest of the time and gets on with his own thing. I think the main reason he brings him toys is to distract him from the ones he wants to play with so he has some peace! I do think he is getting more interested as he gets older, but babies are boring! So this all sounds very normal.

2 years between my girls and my eldest was like this. Interested for the first few days then stopped engaging completely. No interest at all. I was gutted.

They are 8 and 6 now and the best of friends. I’ve barely seen them this morning because they’re in the playroom playing some elaborate game with their barbies.

Of course it’s normal. A 2 year old can’t play with a baby. Two year olds don’t even have friendships - they can parallel play with other toddlers but they are focused on themselves and adults - so no he can’t have a meaningful relationship with a baby.

When they get older they may or may not be friends.

My eldest son was 17 months when DS2 came along and was pretty much as you described initially. Now, at 4 and 2, they’re inseparable! Give it time. The baby is boring at the moment to your toddler.

At 2 a baby is only of minor interest.

Mine are 6 and 4 now and are absolute enemies! Only time they get on is on a morning when I hear them chatting in bed (they have bunkbeds).

At 2 my eldest barely glanced in his brothers direction...

I have twins and they often ignore each other so I wouldn't worry about it

@PeekabooAtTheZoo thats nice to hear and so so cute!!

Typically he's been playing peekaboo with him this morning and they've had great fun smiling, laughing and holding hands. First time ever!! 🤦‍♀️ It's like he must have mumsnet radar.

Realise I was BU and that these things take time. Thanks all for your replies