How to become more sociable?

[C1239]

Recently I’ve felt it’s a real effort to be sociable! Not sure if it’s a post covid thing or I’m now in a hybrid work role instead of office full time but I seem to have less motivation to go out and be sociable! I’m late 30s and don’t want to become boring lol, any tips on how to get back into it?

No tips here I'm afraid - I embrace being unsociable. Nothing wrong with it if that's what you want to be!

Go into the office weekly, if that option exists.

Go out into your neighbourhood every day - walk, sit on a bench, say hello to neighbours in their gardens.

Reconnect with friendships you've allowed to drift.

Say yes to everything and attend events you'd usually avoid.

Plan things and invite people - pub, concert, theatre.

Thank you @justfiveminutes and if you plan things but then end up feeling really urgh about them beforehand do you just force yourself into it?!

Yes!

Not @justfiveminutes, obviously, but if you give in to not going out, it gets easier and easier never to go - and you'll become that person who is never invited anywhere because you always let them down last minute.

Why do you feel like you have to be sociable if you're no longer enjoying it?

It's not boring to stay home and enjoy your own company!

@coffeecupsandfairylights i think because I feel I should be going out and having busy weekends catching up with friends because that’s probably what everyone else is doing and I used to love that before lockdowns so I think I’m putting pressure on myself to get out more.

I find myself in a similar position and force myself to go out. Once out, I have a lovely time catching up with people and doing different things.

Other times I also just embrace my inner quiet self and recharge by spending time by myself but plan this into my week rather than cancel any arranged plans.

In my job I have to be able to start conversations with people I don’t know, make sure people feel welcome at events and be very people focussed. Sometimes its fine. Other times exhausting. I think for me in part, my anxieties are due to lockdown.

I think we all really benefit from structure and routine. It makes it easier for us to just slot into doing something without too much effort then.
That's why so many people's mental health has taken a battering with lockdowns as they lost a lot of routine in your life.

Even if you weren't the most sociable person before you would have had regular, low level social opportunities such as lunch with a colleague.

So I'd advise you to start with setting something up regularly. Coffee on a Saturday morning, or lunch on a Wednesday or whatever with someone you used to see regularly but don't so much now. And schedule it in most weeks.

What about taking up a hobby or sport that you go to every week. Something that you'll be doing with other people.

I find it much easier to go out to things if they become part of my regular schedule

This, 100%!

I'm not the most sociable person in the world, and I love spending time at home reading, having a long bath, or watching tele.

If you're happy spending time alone, that's fine. If you're withdrawing because you're depressed that's another issue entirely.

I have lots of friends, and me and DP will go out with them every few weeks for a meal or drinks, and DP will go next door for drinks most weekends - but they know what I'd like, and are happy to welcome me with open arms when I want to go round, and don't judge me when just DP goes.

Everyone's different, and you don't need to judge yourself based on anything else other than what you enjoy and want to do.