To ask for help please

[DillonPanthersFNL]

I'm about to self implode.

I've just been diagnosed with autism and adhd. I really really really struggle with cleaning and keeping a tidy house. Does anyone know of any apps that are any good? I think being told 'clean this today' would help if im honest. My DH is great at pulling his weight but when it's down to me (my day of cleaning) it all goes to shit and I get home from work knackered and just overwhelmed with all the jobs and the house is a shit tip.

I'm a nurse and I keep my shit together at work, and only at work. I work 3-4 long days a week and frankly I'd love a cleaner but the house isn't clean enough for that right now.

Should I start with binning everything that we don't need/ haven't used in a while? And what if it's sentimental? Just take a photo and bin it?

You need The Organised Mum Method. She’s on fb and insta. There’s an app too. She really is fab.

“I'd love a cleaner but the house isn't clean enough for that right now.”

Do you have enough money, and would your husband agree? Unless you’re a hoarder, getting the house tidy enough for a cleaner would be a much lesser task than doing all the cleaning yourself for the foreseeable future.

If you are going to throw things out, I also think you should consult anyone else who’s living with you.

Hope there’s an App, if that would help. I don’t know any, I’m afraid.

@DillonPanthersFNL I cannot tell you what to do - but what I have done before Is take a photograph of some sentimental things and then bin or send to charity - you will have a memory.

Other than that - just chuck all rubbish / things which are not useful or a bit knackered & then once everything is a bit clearer I am sure a cleaner can cope. Try to only give decent things to charity shops - they are not a waste disposal unit.

I also have autism and adhd AND I’m also a nurse!

My house was a shit hole until recently but believe it or not, it changed when I started watching house cleaning shows such as “filthy house sos” … I became a little fixated with them and I’d end up pausing it to go and clean the kitchen/bathroom/bedroom etc

this may not be fix for you as you can’t make yourself fixate on something so my only advice is …

set aside a day to clean one particular room. Write down what needs doing in that room to complete the job.

example:
kitchen -
load dishwasher, clean sides, hoover floor, wash floor … done.
bathroom - clean bog, bath and sink. Tidy up bottles and throw away empty ones. Clean window ledge, open window. Put bath mat and towels in wash, hoover floor, wash floor, done.

just try to hyper-fixate on one room. My house is now relatively tidy but it’s taken me until I’m 41 to get here.

Hi

Yes, get rid of the excess stuff as much as you can.

its hard to know, without knowing YOU, what the best method is & I absolutely cannot help with the sentimental stuff.

Do you have kids?

How do you & DH split the housework?

can you 'see' rubbish?

how is your kitchen? To ME that's THE most important room, followed by the bathroom.

Do you think you could take a bin bag and throw away actual rubbish?

@AllHailKingLouis ah thank you! Honestly i think it's because I know if I fuck up at work It could have horrendous consequences so I hyperfixate on all the shit I need to do to get through a shift and then I'm fucked for days. I've got 4 weeks annual leave now because I didn't take any last year so they're forcing me to have my toil from last year and some AL. I'm going to get it sorted

@WinterMusings yes, if I focus properly and not get stuck then I can get a bin bag and just throw stuff away. It may take a few days to get it to the tip but it's bagged up. No we don't have kids. I wanted some coping strategies for life admin first because kids have to come first needs wise so if I've got a good routine for the house then I'd be okay to put kids and the house before me as opposed to just freezing and doing a big ole lot of f all because it's too overwhelming . I just need to sort it.