Husband high blood pressure reading- beside myself with worry at his reaction

[pigeonfeather]

Full disclosure: I have health anxiety. Nothing too crippling but enough that if I suspect something is wrong, I'll do what I can to find answers. I've been having migraines this last week- some with auras. Mentioned this to a friend earlier and she told me it could be due to my birth control pill. When I got off the phone, I took my blood pressure which came back 'normal'. My husband, who was sitting next to me, scoffed as he saw me take my reading and told me I was being paranoid. He then took the cuff and took his own BP which came back as 144/95 (pulse 66). When I told him that was worrying and he needed to take some action asap, eg. call the GP first thing on Monday and address his weight, he had the most bizarre and uncalled for reaction I’ve ever seen. He told me the machine was inaccurate (it isn’t), the battery was low hence incorrect reading (batteries are fine) and that id interrupted his viewing of some shit drama he was watching which had caused him to become upset. He said he was fine and didn’t need to do anything. For context: he’s of average height but overweight, has depression (on anti-depressants), recently lost his job but found a new one a few weeks later (so he’s been very stressed recently) but what worries me is that he’s had a number of eye swelling incidents and eye bleeds recently. I though he may have been bitten by an insect or got a stye but all of it makes sense now- he’s got hypertension. He’s also always going for a lie down because he’s always tired. What pisses me off is that he’s blamed me for all of this and will deny what’s happening and carry on how he is. We’ve two toddlers (twins) and I’m petrified at what’ll happen if he becomes ill. I’ve told him he needed to take another reading before bed and one tomorrow morning and evening so he can see if there’s a pattern in his Bp readings but he turned the TV off, told me to fuck off and walked out.

What should I do? I can’t call the Gp on his behalf as a concerned wife- they’ll tell me he needs to call in himself. I can’t watch him kill himself. We’ve had a number of young people around us die suddenly (friends spouses, etc.) and I’m genuinely petrified.

For further context, he’s of a minority ethnic group which places him at risk of high BP and diabetes, etc.

That’s pretty close to mine on medication and my GP is content. It’s on the high side but well managed. I do have regular cholesterol checks

I'd go back to the doctor ASAP, as the pill can be an issue for women who have migraines with aura. You may need a different pill or contraceptive method. The migraines can be a warning sign that something is just not quite right & it's not a good fit for you.

One reading means nothing - your blood pressure goes up and down during the day and depends on things like if you have just exercised or done something physical, if you have not eaten and importantly on how wound up you are - if you’ve had a rant at someone your blood pressure can easily go far higher than 150 and stay there for quite a while. If I haven’t had breakfast my figures tend to be quite low especially the lower figure.

What you need to do is keep taking measurements every day for a week perhaps - say 6 times a day and then you’ll have some idea about what your blood pressure is really like - just jot down the figures so you can see generally how they vary. When you take the readings make sure you have read the instructions about how to do it properly in terms of how the cuff is put on, get the correct arm, don’t have your legs crossed - usually they say have your feet flat on the floor and for you to be sat up with your arms resting on a table - don’t just sit down and put the cuff on and take the reading immediately - put it on and give yourself a few minutes until you are in the resting state - any amount of prior exertion will have your figures all over the place - the readings you want are true “resting” heart rate readings. If you had said 180 I would have agreed it was something worth following up on but it all depends on age and health what constitutes a high figure. I realised that my BP was high for several days in a row and it was down to me getting wound up with BT failing to install internet in student accommodation - I ended up writing a 13 page letter of complaint (long story) anyway it made me realise how potentially dangerous letting stress affect your health - really - it’s not worth letting something upset you so much - my BP monitor helps me understand that. It also make me realise what high blood pressure actually feels like - I very rarely get that feeling now - I just avoid getting so upset about things.

His reading is raised but not worryingly high, also it's best to take 2 or 3 times and look at the lowest reading

His blood pressure is on the high side of average. It’s really not that horrific.

It’s not far removed from mine, and I suffer HA too.

you are allowing your own HA to project to him.

I've just read your post again @pigeonfeather and frankly, I think it's you that needs to make the doctor's appointmemy. Your anxiety is through the roof and you are catastrophising about a one off 'high side of normal' blood pressure reading meaning that your DH is going to die.

You need some help with your anxiety, because your relationship is really going to suffer if you continue. And of course your DH is less likely to get health advice when he needs it, if you are nagging him in an irrationally over the top way.

My mother'n'law had an eye bleed due to pressure and it permanently effected her sight. I call or message our doctor on behalf of my husband all the time - its with his permission though - and they ring him. I would call your doctor and mention the eye bleeds and the pressure reading.

Health anxiety or no, your intervention sounds MASSIVELY annoying. I feel sorry for your husband. Would he say this is the tip of the iceberg?

His bp isn't that bad to be honest and also doctors have told me those home monitor ones do read higher than the ones they use at the surgery. So I don't think he's on death's door quite yet! He shouldn't have been so horrible to you on the other hand, that was uncalled for.

The highest mine has been was 200/210, now that’s high. I’d gone to see my gp as I’d been feeling odd and my migraines seemed a lot worse and didn’t feel right. My gp debated about hospitalising me but didn’t, I was told to go to bed with instructions to go to A&E if I began to see floaty spots, A community nurse came out to take my bp every day for a week. Been on medication ever since.