Tensions have been running high all week between myself and dh and it's all culminated today. It sounds like he's been building up a lot of anger and resentment towards me over different things and thrown it all at me... In his words...
I'm not empathetic enough to his mental health issues. He has depression/anxiety but it comes out in quite a hostile and detached way.
I'm also not empathic and understanding enough to his porn addiction. Things have improved with this but I think he wants me to shake off the hurt I felt from it in the past which I do still struggle with.
He's had to put up with a lot from my mental health problems and has had to hold it all together at times (I have chronic health anxiety and ocd).
He says I don't do enough around the house, e.g. Enough hoovering, picking up stuff, putting the washing out, etc. He said that he'd left stuff in the last week or so to see how long it would take me to notice.
He says I'm too controlling over and doesn't want my opinion on decisions he makes.
He said that I'm always saying I'm tired and that he gets just a tired so I don't need to say it. He thinks that I make myself out to be the one who's more worse off.
There were other things but I felt that was quite a lot to digest. I now feel awful - guilty, shameful, depressed, tearful. I've apologised to him and said that I can try to work on those things. I also feel like his expectations of me are too high though. We have a baby dd, a ds with special needs and I work 3 days a week (some of that at home) in a stressful job. I feel totally burnt out this week (dd has also been ill) and now feel like I've got a load more stuff added on my plate. Dh works 4 days a week. Sometimes dh does a lot at home/with the children and sometimes I feel like I do a lot but obviously I'm not doing enough.
Do I deserve dh to cut me some slack or do I just seem like a terrible wife who needs to do better?