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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids constantly breaking stuff in the house

16 replies

Upthebracket22 · 02/07/2022 20:21

Aibu- my DP thinks it’s ‘only stuff’ but my kids are constantly breaking stuff in the house. I just lost it with my 10 year old daughter as, after being asked to stop, she broke a free standing tall lamp with a brand new lampshade. It’s snapped and is ruined. DS had a new lampshade too and broke that kicking a football in the house- again after being asked not to. He also broke one of my ornaments.
i am bloody sick of it- my DP thinks I am overreacting but I am tired of stuff getting wrecked. They are 10 & 14 and frankly should know better, esp when I have asked them a million times not to do it. I totally lost it this evening 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
Upthebracket22 · 02/07/2022 20:21

DD was doing gymnastics in the lounge by the way!

OP posts:
Buzzer3555 · 02/07/2022 20:32

You are not in the least unreasonable. At that age they should know the way to behave. I suggest you have sanctions and stock to them. Make sure you have support from their dad. Yelling at them isnt working its time to up the stakes. Good luck

Womeninthesequel · 02/07/2022 20:34

All breakages paid for out of allowance or birthday money. Footballs confiscated. Sanctions (no TV, no phone etc) for ignoring you.

Gymnopedie · 02/07/2022 20:37

Does any of DP's 'stuff' ever get broken? How does he react then?

(Also, is he their father? If not then he doesn't have the right to tell you how to parent.)

ReeseWitherfork · 02/07/2022 20:37

I assumed you would be talking about toddlers!

Breaking things isn’t actually the issue here, it’s a result of the issue. Which is that your son shouldn’t have been playing football inside and your daughter shouldn’t have been doing gymnastics inside. They should know the difference between inside and outside games. And they should listen to you when you ask them to stop. Tackle that and the breakages will stop.

Original poster
Upthebracket22 · 02/07/2022 20:45

DP is their Dad- he just doesn’t seem to be as bothered by it as I am. I think I am hormonal too hence it REALLY pissed me off!

OP posts:
Createandescape · 02/08/2022 11:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CounsellorTroi · 02/08/2022 11:52

If they don’t respect your belongings they won’t respect anyone else’s - this needs to be nipped in the bud.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 02/08/2022 12:08

They will need to pay for the replacements then. Out of pocket money or doing some hard yards of domestic chores.

If the replacement cost = x extra hours of work for you I see no reason why they can't pick up the slack domestically.

Or the family doesn't eat out/go places/holiday spending money etc

SleeplessInEngland · 02/08/2022 12:14

Saying 'they should pay for it' just means you pay for it.

Kids breaking stuff sucks, but realistically you either A) just don't get stuff you care about that much, B) have really comprehensive insurance or C) have nice stuff in rooms they can't get into.

Mochatatts · 02/08/2022 12:16

I have a rule if it's broken because kids are being careless or it's on purpose they pay for it. One way or another through their savings or jobs.
My OH is much like your DP things are just things and oh well well just buy another.
It doesn't teach kids to look after their belongings or other people's.
And at 10 and 14 they should know better.

Topgub · 02/08/2022 12:17

What are the consequences for them breaking stuff?

Or for ignoring you?

I wouldnt be asking my kids a million times to do anything.

oobeedoobee · 02/08/2022 12:51

They need to suffer consequences for ignoring your requests for them to stop doing something, because it's disrespectful and it's damaging other peoples property.

It doesn't matter whether your DH isn't bothered about it, YOU ARE ! So he needs to back you up on this ! (How would he feel if it was something of his that was broken ?)

Have a chat with your DH about disrespect and consequences, then sit the kids down and tell them what the consequences of their bad behaviour are going to be.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/08/2022 12:53

Why don't your children have respect for their home and property? I would be bringing the hammer down. This type of attitude and behaviour is totally unacceptable.

yardstickbarbedstick · 02/08/2022 12:58

oh god
so it never gets better?
my eldest is 10 and Is on a mission to destroy everything I've ever owned

FlipFlops4Me · 02/08/2022 13:05

I had an absolute ironclad rule for my ds when he lived at home - no footballs or cricket balls anywhere except his room. If he broke anything of his own because he kicked or threw a ball that was tough. Live with it or save up and replace it. If a ball ever appeared anywhere else in the house I grabbed it and threw it away. He knew I would and never once did I have to.

Your kids need solid rules with consequences for breaking them that get followed through by you. Tell your DH that if he doesn't help you in this and back you to this hilt then he gets to buy the replacement items out of his own money because they aren't being replaced by you.

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