To get married at gretna green

[inpixiehollow]

Trying not to make this too long. Me and OH got engaged in March, we want to get married in 2024. We've viewed a few wedding venues around us but all quite pricey and not many do smaller weddings so we can save on guest numbers. We're now considering a package wedding for 20 guests at a beautiful orangery in gretna green, Scotland. Around 3 hours drive from where we live.
We've asked some friends if they would be willing to travel to attend and all have said yes the travel wouldn't put them off, however our families are another matter. Me and OH don't expect them to make the journey if they don't want to as we understand its far, expensive in petrol etc but they wont just decline the invite and are kicking up a fuss saying why can't we just have a registry office marriage closer to home and hire a room for a party.. Reason for that is.. we don't want to!
We still want a lovely venue, a special day etc just more intimate and hopefully less costly. So AIBU to book it regardless of their opinions/attendance?

Just book it.

It's your day and if family are protesting then they don't have to go.

You have to decide if their attendance matters to you more than the venue and if their objections are mild annoyance or based on actual burden to attendance. At 20 people including friends, you probably aren’t talking about distant cousins, but close family. I personally wouldn’t want to plan a wedding that my parents or siblings couldn’t attend, would
strain to afford, or would face childcare problems.

Sounds lovely, your wedding do what you like :)

One compromise - could you look at booking a coach to get people there? A small coach might not be that much, and people could come for the day & go home at the end of the night.

Have the wedding you want. But don’t be annoyed that other people can’t come or find it too much of a hassle to go.

We got married in the US and no one from my family could attend. It was too expensive and too far for them. So in the end we had no guests, just us, 2 witnesses as required by state law, and the officiant. We are no less married than couples who invite 500 people.

Depends whether your wedding is about the venue or the guests

is there really not a lovely intimate venue less than 3 hours away?

Friends of ours got married at Gretna Green a couple years ago. It was beautiful, simple & intimate x

Is there an issue with your family members usually?
3 hours is hardly the other side of the world, so odd for them to be so objectionable to it. It’s hardly a destination wedding and, if staying in a hotel is the issue, it’s not like they haven’t got time to put a few pounds away every month to save for it.

Have the wedding you both want.

If we go ahead we're looking at helping people arrange transport/accommodation where needed with a bus/paying half towards hotel costs. Sorry should have mentioned that in the original post!

Book it, it sounds amazing. If they’re getting a free bus and subsidised hotel and still don’t want to travel 3 hours, then unless they are house bound and need a hoist and ambulance to travel (so have a valid reason), then they aren’t really people you want to be celebrating with,

Even with paying toward some of their costs, it will still be more expensive for your guests than if you were local. So while you are saving money, it is at the expense of your guests. They now face the costs of a 6 hour round trip plus 1, if not 2, nights in a hotel.

Do what you want. Invite them. If they can’t or won’t attend, then it’s just one of those things.

Have the wedding you want. I had the wedding my mum wanted, venue, bridesmaids etc. I regretted not standing up for myself for years. Good Luck.

We got married in Gretna Green with 10 including us, it was amazing. The venue was lovely, everyone was so helpful and the vows were a little different than others but extra special. I have no regrets.

Your wedding, your choice. You will have to accept some people won't attend though.

It's your wedding, not theirs. Do what you want. We eloped and it caused issues but it was our day and how we wanted to do things