To not go to my graduation?

[greengreensky]

I am graduating on Thursday. I did my HNC and HND at college. Did years 3 and 4 of uni online (Scotland and due to covid).

In year 3 someone posted an article in the group chat that spoke about renaming breast feeding to chest feeding. I said it was ridiculous and nothing was being left for women anymore. Oh my god the pile on, I was called 'transphobic' and accused of 'hate speech'. Questions like 'what is it to you? It makes no difference to you as a 'cis woman'the language that is used'. Whenever I tried to defend myself, more and more of the students piled on. It was awful. I left the group chat and have never been back

However, my graduation is on Thursday and I have just found out that my friend who has been with me since the beginning and stuck up for me on the chat is unable to graduate due to not signing up on time. Therefore I literally know no one and those I do 'know' think I am transphobic.

I really don't want to go but my mum keeps saying I must and saying I could die tomorrow and this would be such a regret. I am starting my masters in September for two years sp don't understand why I can't skip this and do the graduation then.

At the same time, I'm not transphobic, never have been, never will be. Do I think the world has went mental in regard to that recently? Yes. But I'm not transphobic.

I have paid for my gown etc. what do I do? I am dreading it so much.

I never went to my graduation, I'm not sure why you'd regret not going.

Completely up to you. If you're not going to be able to enjoy it there's no point.

Loads of people don't go, they've moved on with life by the time graduation comes round

I would go. Take your guests and you won't need to bother with the others. Some photos with your family before, after in the gown and then a nice meal afterwards to celebrate. I had a group of uni friends but bar a few photos we didn't spend much time together at graduation, we were all with our families

You've earned this, don't let them put you off.

I didn't go to mine either, never regretted it.

I didn’t go to my first graduation in 1992 and I didn’t go to my masters graduation ceremony in 2019. Don’t regret either, if I could go back in time, I would choose not to go again. I had my reasons.

I’d go. Why let them stop you celebrating it?

I went to mine because I got talked into it, it was a tedious waste of time. If you don’t want to go, don’t bother, you’re not “missing out”. Your degree is the reward for your hard work.

I never went to mine in 1987. I borrowed a smartish jacket, went to the photographer who was doing the graduation ceremony the next day, donned the gown and correct sash and got a nice photo to send home. Beyond that it seemed pointless to me and also it would have made me feel very self-conscious. Friends who went told me it was something that they could have missed and it added little to their lives. The achievement is what matters.

In your case, your Masters is perhaps a better opportunity and you'll be rid of those who are judging you.

Mine was boring as hell and my feet killed in the shoes I was wearing. The best part of the day was the meal out with my family after. Skip the graduation and go straight to the celebrations!

I went to both mine but to be honest it would not bother me if I hadn't. My degree in particular the cermonies was set my surname and all the people I knew were in the earlier cermony. I knew one other person in that group.

You go you hold your head up high and enjoy the day you worked do hard for. You did nothing wrong you gave your opinion and last time I checked that is not a crime.

For what it's worth I work as a midwife and I think the whole pregnant people chest feeding thing is an erosion of the female role that only a women can do.

I didn't go to mine - I was on holiday at the time and didn't want to bump into my ex boyfriend who had broken my heart. All my friends went and said I'd regret it - I didn't regret it at all! Not for a second. Was so glad I avoided the heartbreak.

its boring, dont worry about it if it's going to cause you stress.

Your mum has no right to say you must. Was she going to go? Sometimes the parents are more keen to go than the graduates, so they can do the proud parent thing, but it isn’t their day.
Don’t go if you don’t want to- as you say you can go to your Masters graduation.
FWIW I don’t look back on any of my graduations as much fun and I certainly don’t feel they were unmissable occasions.

How awful. Just out of interest, what course is this?

A poster on another thread said that she assesses people and situations based on how she feels. If she doesn't feel good she steps back or opts out. I thought that was great advice.

I went to my graduation but it was pretty tedious. We all had to sit together for our subject group but I wasn't great friends with any of them so there was no photos of me with friends or my year group just my Mum and Dad and boyfriend. I don't look back and think of that day fondly. I was glad it was all over!

You do what's right for you. Don't worry what anyone else thinks.

I didn’t go to mine as I’d already booked a holiday. I don’t regret it or feel bad I wasn’t there. If you want to go though don’t let other people being dicks stop you

I never went to either of my graduations. I’ve never given it a second thought to be honest. In my opinion, I think this probably matters more to your parents who will want the embarrassing photo etc.

To be honest, these people have probably forgotten all about this, it’s pack mentality. But if you don’t want to go, don’t go. It’s unlikely you will ever regret it.

I didn't go to mine. My parents couldn't go (mum died 4 months before and my father had a hospital appointment and lived in another country anyway). It was 6 months after we finished the course, I was already using my degree for my job and didn't really care enough to make it worth spending money on a ceremony that is 99% watching other people and 30 secs of me awkwardly walking across a stage.

I went to my first one and didn’t bother with the one for my masters; can honestly say it didn’t matter to me as the “yes I did it” moment for me was when I got the results and celebrated passing: by a few weeks later for my graduation I didn’t want to do it again and was focused on what I was doing next and I hate everyone looking at me etc

But it's milk ducts found in breasts, not chests. Idiots. You should start focusing on facts instead of emotive arguments because these people are totally brainwashed.

I didn't attend my graduation. It just seemed liked a money grabbing exercise with pictures and gowns. All for what? Some ceremony? I wasn't interested. I had my degree and didn't need a ceremony.

This. Especially as you've already paid for your gown hire.

I went for my parents' sake ,as my dad was dying . Glad I did now. It was really boring . We didn't know that you should have a meal after it so just went home . Two years, later ,I took my 5 year old son and widowed mum to my Post grad one . Was tedious again but my mum insisted that I go. Highlight was my son shouted when I went up "That's ma mammy!" . We went for a meal after that. Dont let the gender woo dafties put you off. You have worked hard for this. You won't see these eeigits again and it is part of your life ! I'd go if I was you !

Well if you do die tomorrow do you think you last thought will be ‘dam I wish I had gone to my graduation’ 😃

You can go with your family, get photos in your gown and nice meal with them. You can opt out of any group photos should you choose to. Congratulations on the masters! We need more free and rational thinking people in academia. Perhaps you will stay on to do a PhD

I didn’t go to mine . No regrets at all.