Overbearing Football Parent

[Footbal]

I will try and keep this as short and straightforward as possible so bear with me.

DD12 plays soccer at a fairly high level for her age. She was with her club since she was 8. Everything was fine. Last year a girl that she previously went to school with joined the team. All was good for a very short amount of time. The girl herself is fine but the Dad is overbearing and awful at times.

He was constantly ringing the coach complaining that his DD was not getting enough game time,was training some nights with the team below,coach pulled her up on messing,coach told her she needed to do better etc...he rang about everything. All the parents at the club could see his behaviour and he wasn't popular.

We had got roped into sharing lifts with him and taking turns to drop and pick the girls to training. Then he started asking for lifts to matches, again it was OK to start with. At the matches he was embarrassing, kept shouting instructions onto his DD, pacing up and down the sideline and basically being out of order. Coach spoke to him and he was good for a week.He then started ringing my DH numerous times a day to complain about the coach the club etc. Myself and DH were thinking of moving teams anyway at this stage.

Anyway, the other parent had an argument with the coach and was basically told not to come back to the club with his DD. We had decided that we were moving DD anyway.

We had a club in mind,the other parent took it upon himself to ring said club and enquire about both girls joining. He then proceeded to tell the potential new club about all the problems he had at previous club. Trials started last week and he has started again on the sidelines. Myself and DH don't want to be associated with him or this behaviour. We don't want the potential new club to think we are like him and then not pick our DD because they don't want the hassle.

He is very full on and controlling. He thinks our DDs are best friends and should stick together. They are friends but that's it.

Please give me some advice on how to deal with this?

You either tell him to be quiet or put up with it. if he wants to he can get coaching qualifications but I suspect he wont and is just living his dream through the daughter. You can sugar coat it but I suspect that his character is set.

What does your dd want to do? Stay at her current club or try a move?

The other parent and your problems with setting boundaries should not influence what she wants.

Stay with the old club, why were you moving your DD?

My DD wants to move clubs. The potential new club is a feeder club for International football. Dont want to say to much as we don't live in the UK. Its very well known and has great coaching,facilties and opportunities.

I'd stay with the old club, at least until his dd is asked to leave the new one, then move if necessary.

why move clubs? If your dd stays then this means you have a natural split with this man and his dd.

If you do keep with the new club stop the lift share and encourage friendships with the other players.

We are leaving club for the progression and opportunities. We can't just move DD halfway through the season. We have thought about moving her the whole last season.

He doesn't always have access to a car so that's how we were asked to help with lifts.

My DH has told him numerous times to relax and not say anything on the sidelines and also not to ring the previous coach all the time.

He seems to want the group my DD and his DD as a package deal at this new club.

I just want him to piss of and let us enjoy our DDs football.

Stop the lift share.
Don't stand near him at the training and matches.
Don't answer the phone to him.

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy, I've told my DH that he needs to be less available for phone calls going forward and he agrees.

Definately going to try and distance at training and put a stop to sharing lifts...that one might be difficult though,they live close by.

Well
I'd you don't. It's going to continue!

He also told the new coach that he left the other club because of a difference of opinion and politics!!! He had said this when he rang about the trials for both girls. This will be his DDs third club in two years. He was originally going to put her in a lower league club as he wanted to work work her self confidence!! When my DH spoke to the coach himself he told her the reasons we were leaving was for progression etc.

the other parent took it upon himself to ring said club and enquire about both girls joining

tell him clearly he was out of order enquiring on behalf of your dd

speak to the new club and tell them you have just become aware of the other parents discussion with them and they are two individual enquiries

if he has already left the current club the lifts will have stopped already, don't restart them with new club, just say you'd rather just take your dd yourself

if you do talk to him at the new club do not get involved in any negativity, tell him you don't have a problem and redirect him to speak to the coaches if he has and change the conversation to the weather or something equally boring, advise your dh to do the same

I think he's a real risk to your daughter being accepted after the trials.

You have to completely distance yourself from him. Awkward, I know, but you need to put your daughter above his feelings.

And have a quiet word with the coach to let him know there's no connection between your families other than previously attending the same club.

Send a text -

"Just to let you know we won't be able to do lift sharing to football any more due to other commitments."

You don't need to justify your position. Ignore any texts he send you. Better still, block.

Tell him he is obnoxious and overbearing and you will have nothing to do with him!

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy, That's what im afraid of. If I do say something to the coach will I come across the wrong way though.