Prepared to get an utter panning here, but I need to vent somewhere so I can continue to be supportive in real life.
I have a friend with 5 kids, 15 down to 3. All with the same guy (who makes good money and is v hands on from what I can tell), all singles, all planned. She always wanted a huge family and often talks about how sad she is that her DH doesn't want any more kids.
The issue I'm having is that she complains, nonstop, about how hard it is to have so many children. They all need taking places all the time, food is expensive, clothes are expensive, she doesn't have any free time (she doesn't work and they're all at school/nursery), she's always doing laundry or cooking, etc etc etc. And I get that it's hard, of course it is, but she chose this! Anyone could tell you that having 5 kids is expensive and time-consuming!
She literally never has a positive thing to say about anything to do with her family. Before anyone suggests she's depressed, I really don't think that's the case, she just loves a whinge. She's said that herself.
I could put up with that, because she's a great friend otherwise, but since her 5th kid was born it's got massively worse, and if I ever try to talk about my own struggles with my kids, she tells me that I've got it easy and it's so much harder with 5. Obviously it's harder with 5! That's why I only had 2! It doesn't mean that it isn't difficult for me to be up all night with a baby and then chasing a toddler all day. Everything seems to be a race to the bottom and every time she opens her mouth I just want to say "well why did you have so many kids then? What did you think was going to happen!?"
Final straw today was when a friend of ours was discussing her decision to only have 2 kids, and she said how sad she thought it was, and how much of a blessing and a joy having a big family is. I have literally never heard her say one positive word about her big family prior to that sentence, and we've spoken every week for two decades.
I'm sure I sound like a bitch and maybe I am, but honestly I'm so fed up of it. I know people will say "why are you friends with her it doesn't sound like you like her very much" and I get that, but I do like her a lot, and we have a lot of shared history, but this has crept up in the last few years and I'm finding it tough. I'm usually very patient and understanding but I've reached the "you've made your bed now lie in it" point here. 5 kids is a lot of kids. That's why most people don't have that many. It's like voting Tory and then complaining about the NHS! I'm biting my tongue so hard it's bleeding (metaphorically) - what did she expect?!