To think we should get help being rehomed

[orkneyisthebest]

Please hear me out.

We currently have a 2 bed flat in Edinburgh which is a housing association let. We are a family of 5. My dd10 has her own bedroom due to stress of sharing with her brother who has asd and can be violent. My ds7 and ds3 shares a bedroom. Due to ds 7 violence i currently sleep on their bedroom floor to protect ds3. We are considered overcrowded but not enough for priority. Dh works nights so he sleeps on sofa/ dd bed during the day.
I cant work due to being ds7 carer so money for a private let is out of the question. A move out of Edinburgh would help but due to ds7 school and other support it's pretty much out of the question.

I'm not looking for a bedroom for dh and myself but would like a 3 bed so i dont have to sleep on the floor anymore:(

ds3 wasn't planned at all and i couldn't face a termination

Yea you definitely should get help. My local Facebook council page has a homes swap page where council or housing association tenants can advertise and organise swaps could you try that? You need to sleep in a bed!!

Yes you should, but I fear that it's a long line of people who should get help.

YANBU but as a stop gap I think I’d put dd and ds3 in together.

I don't know what help you can get but it does sound like a tough living situation Could you somehow partition one of the bedrooms so dd and younger ds can share but still have some privacy? Maybe then get a double and single bunk bed for you, dh and your older ds? Would there be room for that?

Health evidence needs to be submitted to your HA bidding system (hopefully you are registered on this already), if not, register.

You will probably be put in the lowest band to start with but when health evidence comes through will probably, hopefully be bumped up.

Having some sort of a support worker to evidence your situation and liase with the HA helps. Social Worker? Someone from school? Carer's Advocate?

Yes to investigating home swap but you need to explore other options as well i.e. the above.

If situation urgent enough with enough evidence - HA's can offer a direct let - which means you get moved without bidding. That depends though on suitable property coming up.

So you need evidence on paper, support in person and be prepared to make some noise - I'm not sure if you have a Housing Ombudsman there but if these steps not actioned by HA in reasonable amount of time, complain to them as well.

Its' a lot of work but your health is impacted so asking for letter from your own G.P is good place to start.

We are already on the list.
Social worker
ot
support worker
gp
all have give letters to support still no luck

Why dont you put your youngest in with your daughter for a start? Not ideal but you wouldnt need to sleep on a floor

Temporarily can you get a proper sofa bed for the lounge and sleep there with the 3 yo .

DS should have a room of his own. Then put the other two together and you and DH use sofa bed in living room. Put an alarm on DS door so that if he wakes in night you hear him.

Yes you should
I wish you every luck for the future, it must be so hard on all of you

This sounds so hard. Others must be in even worse conditions if you are not at the top of the list.

Dd10 needs a bedroom to herself more then i need to sleep on a bed. She has complex issues which i won't go into detail but every professional agrees she needs her own space.

how long have you looked for a mutual exchange?

In an ideal world of course you’d be rehoused.
But sadly I can well imagine a lot of more pressing priorities.
There will be under occupied 3 bed HAs but no-one likes the bedroom tax, and I’m sure there’s no appetite for compulsory swaps.

Why isn’t your 3yo in with your 10yo.
Then you can have a proper bed in the same room as 7yo so you’re not on the floor.

That sounds so incredibly tough. I've no practical advice I'm afraid. I know you said DD 10 needs her own space but would the younger DD just sleeping there really take the space away from her? It can still be her bedroom just DD3 sleeps there at night time. So DD 10 has the space to herself outside of that time? Could you put a curtain across the room?

About 3 years

Yikes, you using facebook? i just helped someone find a 3 bed flat just outside edinburgh from a 1 bed flat, using facebook groups and homeexchange site

sorry wrong thread!

Can you either

• get a sofa bed for lounge and sleep in there with 3 year old
• get one of the bunks with a single at the top and a double below and sleep at the bottom with 3 yr old
• create a space in living room for 3 year old to sleep there

You do deserve help. But the nature of the people who end up needing housing association/social housing is that many people have complex issues deserving support - unsurprisingly low income families are often in that position due to disabilities, caring responsibilities etc.

Without meaning to offend, I hope you've got some rock solid contraception in place now, the last thing you need is to worsen your overcrowding and if you aren't keen on termination you need to make sure you prevent!

Could you swap with someone in a house in suburbs or out of town? Someone might be keen to live in town.

Your son and daughter could share until she’s around 10 - that would take some of the pressure off you at night for now. If you can give them a bigger room that would be ideal.

I'm genuinely surprised we haven't managed to swap. We live in a very desirable part of Edinburgh with good schools. We have looked at a bigger 2 bed so we could separate bedrooms ( our bedrooms are tiny) but not allowed due to it being overcrowded!!

I second this. I am pretty sure that local authorities count space in living rooms when considering over crowding and if there are enough bedrooms

Had the implant in when i fell pregnant. ...
The sad fact is if i were to fall pregnant again we would get priority ( housing association words not mine) We wont have a another baby tho