Children on dates

26 replies

BiscoffSundae · 01/07/2022 12:10

I’m on a single parents group on Facebook and one thing that comes up often that shocks me is how many women say they are a completely single parent with their kid 24/7 (I get it I am too) but they want to date so asking if it’s ok to bring their child ON dates?! The amount of people saying it’s fine has also shocked me and “you come as a package” etc, suggesting they meet the men at the playground or in soft play 🤦🏻 (To clarify they are strangers not people they know or have met before) So they can chat whilst the kids play, surely no one actually does this or is this desperate irl? If you are with your child 24/7 and want to date fair enough but aibu to find this really inappropriate and think that you should be paying for a babysitter not bringing your children on dates?! And what kind of man would even agree to a date where someone’s child is going to be there?

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BiscoffSundae · 01/07/2022 16:53

Graphista · 01/07/2022 16:04

Hugely inappropriate and irresponsible I agree op.

I raised dd as a single parent since she was 2, I didn't have loads of money for sitters etc so until she was at nursery and then school I didn't date.

Then I dated during the day when she was at nursery/school, lunch, coffee etc until such a point as the relationship was looking promising and then I was happy to pay for occasional sitters for eve dates.

Any decent person would not agree to a date where children are brought along!

I've had men push for me to pay for sitters or even "I'll come over when she's in bed and leave before morning" er no!

Served as an excellent filter actually as it meant I knew they weren't right for me.

On here and other forums I'm on I am shocked at the parents who do this, who introduce a new boyfriend or girlfriend to their dc early on etc and yes I am critical when it arises on posts and I make no apology for that. I think it's poor parenting and shows poor judgment as a parent.

Endless threads on here by mothers who not only introduced but moved in the boyfriend WAY too soon and then they are surprised when there are issues between their new partner and the dc

Often they are advised to move the new partner out which they are frequently very resistant to doing - even when the partner is abusive to their dc!

And of course in the news all too often kids abused and even murdered by new partners with alarming frequency!

I wish parents were more considerate of their dcs safety and emotional needs than their need to have sex! That is what it basically comes down to.

Dc should come first every time

That’s how I feel, I totally get how lonely it is as I’m a lone parent myself with no babysitters but it would never occur to me to even consider bringing them along to meet men, it’s just something you don’t do and it shocks me anyone thinks it’s ok, I’ve been single for 5 years because of my situation. It’s the same type of women that move men in quickly and have their kids calling the man dad after a few months.

LegInLegOut I read stories in the paper where step “fathers” have abused or even killed their partners kids and I always wonder why women have these type of men round their kids but it’s this type of situation where mum is desperate to meet someone, anyone, quickly has a man playing a father role to her child when really it should be a very slow careful process.

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