My aunt wants to come on holiday with us, not sure partner would be happy with it

[Goggle787]

We've booked a long haul week away, really excited, never flown long haul before and it's a place we've always wanted to go to.
I've told my aunt who I'm close to and she's asked if she can come with my partner and I.
She's met my partner several times. She's not that much older than me and is very young at heart, loves travelling.
I get on well with her and we still holiday together as a family but I'm not sure how I feel about this, particularly how my partner would feel.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm not sure if she should come. She was asking on the phone if my partner and I would mind, I said no but felt like I was on the spot.
It's not until October but really don't know what to do. She's saying she won't be a gooseberry, but I feel like it may be unfair on my partner.
She said she'll look at flights but may not actually end up coming.
I don't know what to do. My partner does like her but I can't imagine he'd be very happy about this.

Definitely a no!! Can’t believe she’d even ask that!

Yeah i think i will offer that instead

Fuck that.

So she's married? I think that is seriously weird of her to ask and for you to consider it.

That's totally out of order!

Imagine if a man did that to his wife!

You tell get no! It's not your DHs issue, it's yours!

Just say no and don't blame your husband for the decision, that's really not fair.

I think some of these replies are a bit OTT.
Of course I'm not going to blame him. I'm allowed to tell him that she asked, i don't have to be sworn to secrecy.

I think it's really odd that she would even ask! I just can't imagine asking if I could tag along in those circumstances.

We're all different I suppose, but I know she will understand.

I was assuming she was lonely and on her own. Why would she think this would be okay?

I'd say no.
But to soften the blow to Aunty I'd say how about meeting for a coffee. No need to split the bill, on this occasion. I'll pay unless you want a cream slice too, in which case...
🙂

I appreciate your more lighthearted reply!

You've said that you will not reply to your aunt until you've spoken to your husband. What is that if not asking him and putting the ball in his court? Very wrong in my opinion.

Frankly, this scenario is very outside most people's life experience. A married aunt asks to tag along on her niece's couples holiday? Strange.

I'm surprised anyone with any social awareness or common sense would even ask such a thing.

It's not all mates together. It's an exciting holiday for you and your partner.

Why did you ask him? You're putting him on the spot in the same way she put you on the spot.

Speak to her. Tell her it's not going to work for you as it's a romantic holiday for you and your partner.

I didn't ask him if she could come, I told him , guess what, she asked.
I'm allowed to tell him it happened.
I won't be posting here again as she's not a bad person, some of these comments about her are really uncalled for.

Have you had a holiday since the pandemic?

If not use that as an excuse, that you would like your first holiday for a while together just the 2 of you.

Don't think it matters what other think.
Plus there's an assumption your DP won't want it.

If you and your DP want her to join you, then great!

If he doesn't, then it's unfair to invite her along and you need to unwind the conversation.

But without knowing what your DP thinks of the idea, it's just people giving opinions on the scenario based on their own DP / Aunt. Which isn't really relevant is it?

I'm struggling to believe this. She is married and wants to come on holiday with you and your partner, leaving her own husband behind? Why?

What a strange thing to ask. Can’t think of anything worse than going on holiday with a couple as a 1+ .

I could understand where she's coming from if it's a location that you've discussed going together to in the past and now you're going with DP. Still would be weird to go as a third person with a couple, but I could at least understand where she got the idea from. If it's not ever been on the table that you would go there as a family/you and aunt, then it's quite odd of her to even think of it. But anyway, you say she's a decent person and generally ok, so I guess we all have strange ideas sometimes!

Not a fan of a boundary, is she?