DD two and a half tantrums

[mormal]

Are becoming absolutely epic now. Lasting a good ten minutes. Today she's had two. Once when we had to get back into the car after the supermarket. Just screaming and kicking, crying. Hysterical.

Another one just now when we'd been playing on the trampoline, but then it was time to come in.

She's been off nursery this week as she's been a bit unwell. She's recovering now. Could it be because she's bored ? When are tantrums something to worry about ? She gets completely hysterical sometimes, I'm getting concerned.

Try 45 mins - 1 hr. I have no idea but assume that there is a broad spectrum of normal. This sounds perfectly normal to me, especially if she's ill. Triggers for us are hunger / tiredness / illness and misunderstanding what she wants or saying no. Try not to worry about it or make it into a bigger deal than it is.

It’s just normal unfortunately. Age and stage. You don’t need to be concerned but you do need to have the patience of a saint and read on good strategies to deal with them.

Tip from me, don’t try to engage or reason with the child. Just try to be a calm and reassuring presence. Also if it’s over a biscuit or something don’t give in just to shut them up. Pick your battles wisely.

Ten minutes? My 9 year old has longer tantrums than that! At two they could easily last over an hour so I think there is nothing out of the ordinary going on. She might still be a bit tired after feeling unwell.

These sound like typical 2yo tantrums, but yes many kids are more prone to them when unwell, tired, hungry, teething or worried.

They call it the terrible twos for a reason!

My goodness, really ? And it's OK that she flails her body around etc ? I just sit on the floor with her try my best to remain calm. I try to reassure her by just being there. Saying anything, even reassuring her, seems to make it worse. I also tried today to do the transition thing, where you explain that now we are going to go back to the car etc. did not work.

It's more likely to be her not feeling good and that affecting her, rather than her being bored.

Do you giver her warnings? Not "time to get off in a minute" but things that can make sense. So, like with the trampoline, say "5 more bounces and it's time to come off" and quickly say "shall we count together,or shall I count?"

Practice this when it's not a temper inducing time or when you're removing her from something fun. So like when you're walking down the road, do things like "after 5 steps, it's time to jump up as high as we can!"

We had a lot of tantrums after illness too. Do what pp said and don't react too much, just let them know you're there when they want to come to you and stay in the same room doing your own thing. Ten minutes doesn't sound excessive

I used to have a lot of success in asking them to choose what they wanted to do for their ‘last thing’ before we had to stop or leave or clear up etc. It gave them a moment to pause and think and then internalise that the activity was ending as they were doing the ‘last’ of that activity

You also are doing the right thing by basically ignoring the tantrum. I sometimes would see something exciting in the distance, like a pink dog, and say ‘oh my goodness a pink dog’ and then the dc might snap out of it so they could see the pink dog…at which point I was oh no, you missed it, what a pity you were so upset you werent watching out, now lets go home and play in the garden (swiftly moving on)

The more attention you give tantrums, the more you feed the drama and emotion amd the longer they last and more frequently they happen. Shouting and tellings off count as attention as well as poor youing and do you want a cuddle/conversations

Within reason I just used to ignore mine when she did this. And like a PP said, if you're going to "give-in" it's always better to just give in straight away than after 10 minutes of screeching just to get them to stop, because that sends the wrong message.
Pick the battles wisely.

But I just used to carry on with whatever I was doing. I would be calm and try to strategically distract with anything I could 😂.

Mines 5 now and it does get better I promise.

My son has just turned 2. He's had tantrums before but are certainly more frequent and longer now. I just basically ignore it but st

If you experiment with warnings you will work out the best method. I find a couple of warnings followed by a distraction or choice works really well e.g. we're going home in 1 minute, do you want to go on the slide one last time, or would you rather go straight away?
We rarely have tantrums about leaving the park etc now, they are usually due to frustration or tiredness and are caused by nothing of any significance. They are harder in some ways as there's no obvious way to avoid them

Posted too soon. I sit close by so he knows I'm there but I don't engage with him until he's calm. Tantrums are usually over leaving the park or saying no to him. He's also started hitting so he gets told no and that also leads to a tantrum.
No real advice but before I say no I try to decide if it matters. For example hitting is always dealt with but if he's pulling books off shelf I leave him to it.

I shouldn't worry. Normal at that age. Despite how frustrating and inconvenient you might feel it is. Ignore as much as possible as long as she is not in any danger and reward good behaviour.

I put up with a asd teen having a meltdown or laughing fit for an hour most night. Drives me nuts.