Tips for/reality of a newborn baby

[Goggle787]

I have always been on the fence mainly as I was worried it would be too expensive.
However we've looked at what we're entitled to and as well as saving up a certain amount of money we'd be eligible for financial support, I would still be able to work part time and my partner full time so we should be ok. We also have some financial and childcare support from family which we are very grateful for.
I am only eligible for SMP so I wouldn't be looking to take full maternity leave, probably only the 6 weeks on 90% pay, but if I'm not fully recovered then slightly more if needed.
I've looked at the cost of childminders in the area and I am confident that we can afford this on part time basis.
We'd need to move to a 2 bed property first as we don't have an extra room currently, and I've looked at budgeting as much as possible in terms of baby clothes, nappies etc.
Just interested to hear any other practical tips, advice, any stories, anything at all would be great.
I'm 31 now. Has anybody else taken a shorter maternity leave?

Apart from needing time off work, and that financial hit, newborns aren't too expensive. Breastfeeding keeps costs down. If you're not breast feeding, formula is a cost and nappies.
To be honest, it's when they get older that it gets more expensive. Childcare after maternity leave when you return to work. Clothes, shoes, food etc... everything gets more expensive.

Thanks for your answer. Yes I suppose in one sense childcare costs will go down but then will be replaced by school uniforms etc. Which seem to be very expensive!

We had our newborn whilst living in a 1 bed flat on the 4th floor - you don't need that much space initially - he still sleeps in bed with me at 7 months. Actually in the city we lived in (a major European capital) a lot of parents had 1 bed flats abd slept in the living room when the children were old enough to have their own room, so it is possible in a smaller space, but I know it's not so common here. I looked for free or cheap baby clothes & things on fb marketplace. I would consider taking longer off of you can, at 6 weeks pp I wasn't totally recovered but obviously that depends on the birth etc.

I am only eligible for SMP so I wouldn't be looking to take full maternity leave, probably only the 6 weeks on 90% pay, but if I'm not fully recovered then slightly more if needed.

I believe you need to give 8 weeks notice to change your return date, so if you say you're only taking 6 weeks then that's all you'll be able to take as you won't have time to extend it.
Also, would you start the 6 weeks from when the baby arrives, so work right up until the due date? And even then the baby may not come for a couple of weeks so you may be going back at 4 weeks postpartum.
Can you save up your holiday and take that all after the 6 weeks of mat leave? I was physically recovered at 6 weeks both times, but could not have worked due to the exhaustion. DD2 is 7 weeks old and I'd be no use at work on the amount of sleep I'm getting. I found mat leave excruciatingly boring with DD1 and am considering going back to work early this time, but couldn't do it for a few months at least. Babies are different though, you may get a great sleeper. But you may get one who wakes hourly and needs to be held all the time.

I definitely couldn't have gone back to work at 6 weeks. My DD hated being put down and still now co-sleeps most of the time as it's easier (she's 11 months).
I also couldn't have left her with childminder/nursery that young but that's just me, you may feel different. But I'd got a plan in my head of returning to work at 9 months and it all being great, the reality however has been completely different in that I really struggled with the thought of going back to work to a job I realised I wasn't that happy in and ended up changing my return to work plans last minute, thankfully I have a really great company who were very understanding.
So just be aware that making a plan so far in advance may not be the best as you will likely feel very different when you have had a baby.
Regards to cost, I'm breastfeeding so apart from nappies/wipes it was very cheap and I bought lots of clothes in a variety of sizes (up to a year) before she was born so I wouldn't have to worry.
If you can save money before baby is born then it will give you the flexibility to be on maternity leave for longer. I saves £5000 in the 9 months before she was born and it really helped

In no way could I have gone back to work after 6 weeks (or 4 as someone else points out). Breastfeeding aside, mine slept for an hour, was awake 30 minutes, slept an hour, etc etc. I was too tired to even drive for the first 3 weeks, let alone concentrate for a working day. Some women do manage it obviously, but I could not have.

If you are saving up, try and save up wages for at least 12 weeks. That was when I (and several friends) felt a bit more normal.

newborns need a mum and boobs and that's it. If you have a latch and time that is really all you need, all they need. They just want to be with their mum and being fed.

A sling was brilliant as could carry baby around, do house stuff, make food, she could feed in there, can easily get on public transport or go for walks.

Get a bed rail and do safe co-sleeping.

Honestly going back to basics and just cutting out all the noise and responding to my baby and what felt right got me through. I couldn't do the sleep deprivation, I don't think we're meant to be sleep deprived. I put her in my bed and that was that. She would wake up, see me, and go right back to sleep.

Thing with going back to work is your baby only wants you. It's literally the only thing they want and we can only give them it when they're that age. You can't get that time back. Your baby can't replace you but work can and will.

I would save save save to take longer off. I'd have hated to go back at six weeks with either of mine. That's just when they are leaving the newborn fug and becoming more interesting (and usually sleeping worse!). I think you might find it a lot harder than you expect to leave them so soon. I am not a sentimental person but it's a kind of primal thing, the desire to be with your tiny baby.

I think it is really brave of you to want to go back after 6 weeks but I would also suggest having a back up plan just in case at the time you don't feel able to. Between sleep deprivation, healing from birth, raging hormones, and this brand new little human, you could find the reality of going back to work so soon really hard.
You sound super organised so if you started saving now, specifically with stretching your maternity leave in mind, that might give you some more options down the road.

In terms of tips, I am 12 weeks pregnant with my first at the moment (I'm 33) and I've been looking at a lot of budgeting tips and any mum blog that has 'minimalism' in the title is usually pretty good for reassuring me that I don't need half the stuff on my list! I've also had offers from friends of things that their kids (most of whom are already school age! I'm a late starter! haha!) no longer need. Some for free because they just don't want the clutter and some for purchase because they need to buy the next size up or whatever, and it is really nice to think we're helping each other out.

You also need to consider if you ended up with a section for what ever reason.
6 weeks you will still be healing and sore and likely not fit to return to work at that stage.
Also if you want to go back to work sooner you may need to consider bottle feeding ( either via pumping or formula) which adds up.
Also not every mum is able to breast feed successfully even with all the support out there. So don't assume you will be able to.

Thanks for these tips they are really appreciated. I will reconsider the maternity leave, though probably still as soon as I can. I don't think I will be breastfeeding

My job isn't physical at all , it involves me sitting in a chair for the most part so hopefully this may not be too bad.

Work or take annual leave right up until your due date - that way if your baby comes early your mat leave starts automatically and you get any untaken days of annual leave back. If you go onto mat leave early and then your baby is late, you are basically just wasting a chunk of your mat leave.

Ass pp have said plenty of free and cheap baby clothes and equipment available on Ebay, facebook, freecycle, charity shops etc. Most of it is hardly used as they grow so fast. Supermarket baby clothes are decent enough quality as well if you want to buy new, I like Sainsburys and Morrisons best.

Aldi is good for baby stuff like nappies, wipes, baby food. Agree that breastfeeding is much cheaper than formula if you can do it, but will make returning to work harder. Some people do well expressing milk - it's not always easy but you can get a second hand pump and just replace the valves/tubing etc.

No judgement from me as obviously you need income to keep a roof over your head, but 6 weeks after giving birth I was so tired I couldn't spell my own name. Your concentration will be shot to pieces and hormones all over the place. As pp said, if there's a way you can stretch to 12 or even 16 weeks, the fog in your brain will have lifted a lot.

Sorry OP, x post about the breastfeeding

Factor a longer maternity leave into your savings and tell work you're taking the full 52 weeks (even if you know it's unlikely you'll take the full time) It's much easier to shorten your leave than to extend it.

I know you said you weren't breastfeeding but it is free milk so worth giving a go. Even combi feeding will reduce your milk bill.

As for childcare. It's hard to find any that take babies less than 6 months. Impossible to find for less than 3 months. You should factor the childcare costs into your budget and not rely on family child care. It's A LOT to ask of family to care for your newborn and it might not be practical for them.

Dad is entitled to shared parental leave and flexible working as well. Look at what his policies are if it makes sense for him to take some time off too.

Finally, don't go back before 12 / 16 weeks if you have to use your brain at all. The brain fog is real and hard work.

Oh and you earn annual leave while on maternity leave so you can use that to extend your leave a bit.

As PP say, it's certainly possible to go back to work 6 weeks after giving birth, women do, but it is not easy. At 6 weeks PP I was wrestling with both massive sleep deprivation and PND and spent my time crying, feeling very alone, and not sleeping because I was too anxious to. I would definitely look into any possibility of extending you leave even to 12 weeks if you can. Alternatively, what's the parental pay policy for your DH's job? My H's job had a much more generous policy than mine and he was able to take five months at full pay with our second. Could he be at home for longer?

It certainly isn't impossible to find childcare for younger babies. The nursery DS went to take babies from 8 weeks old.

Gosh that's young. But round here the issue is also waiting lists. For good nurseries you need to get on the list as soon as you're pregnant. Some waiting lists are well over a year long.

I had a 6 month maternity leave and that’s considered by many to be very short! After the 6 weeks at 90% pay you still get SMP which is £156.66 a week.

I could not have gone back at 6 weeks. I think I could of worked part time after 4 months. Feeding was established and DS wasn’t awake for hours and hours anymore in the night.

Read up on the fourth trimester. My baby spent most of the first 3 months feeding and sleeping on me.