To not let your partner drink if you’re drinking

[xxcatcatcatxx]

We have a DS who is coming up to 4 months and I’ve been wanted a couple of glasses of Jammy Red Roo ever since I got pregnant a year ago. I’m such a lightweight though.

DP usually has a few beers after work, he’s never wasted but I wouldn’t say sober either. I can join him for one beer or a couple of G&Ts and be fine but wine is a different ball game. So I asked him last night if he could be the one who doesn’t drink so I can have a couple of glasses.

We’ve been disputing ever since if this is fair or not. I made him get 0.0% beers, poor guy, which on reflection I’m sure he could have had one large bottle but I just didn’t want us both to be under the influence.

AIBU? Just if something happened to baby, even if he was asleep. Hopefully it doesn’t sound like we’re complete alcoholics 😂 xxx

She does say wine is a different matter and she wants a couple of glasses of wine.

I suspect she knows she's going to get wasted.

However for me as a mother drinking alcohol wasn't a priority with a small baby either.......

That is an unnecessarily snide comment @worriedaboutmoney2022 . She’s said she fancies a couple of glasses of red after a year of not drinking. Not that drinking is her priority.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think your husband having had one beer in an evening when you are a bit tipsy on red is going to endanger your child. Plenty of parents can never drive to hospital because they don’t have a car! Nobody tells them that they are bad parents. It’s false justification.

On the other hand, his refusal to do what you ask when this clearly causes you anxiety is a bit concerning. He should be prepared to see the bigger picture and humour you a bit, not cause arguments for the sake of a weekday lager.

It sounds like he has an alcohol problem OP. I honestly think you shouldn’t be ignoring this. It isn’t normal or healthy and it will have a negative impact on your child.

He's dependent on alcohol. Not drinking for one night should be a non-issue.

Young babies can deteriorate in health quite abruptly so it is well worth having a parent with their wits about them. It's not necessarily about having a driver, non-driving families will be more clued up about their transport options so if there was a random situation, they have a head start on an action plan (e.g. people for lifts, taxi companies) plus there's not the risk of jumping in the car because they're not that drunk.

BFing curtailed my drinking habits in the first year anyway and if I've got a child off-colour where there's more risk of an issue arising, then it's not worth drinking, not that we drink as a habit anyway.

I also don't think both of you having a few drinks is bad with a baby, but then I wouldn't want both of us smashed and it would take a lot to get either of us drunk (DH 4 beers and me 4 wines would be where we cross the barrier to being relaxed to being drunk). However we rarely drink and rarely to that excess so it does sound like your DH has a problem. I'd say normal for us is a beer or 2 on a sunny Sunday afternoon for DH and a few GandTs for me but that's a few times a month at most.

So many good points, thanks guys feel a bit less crazy. My hangovers kicked in and I’m questioning whether it was really actually even worth it 😂

Ugh I have had this discussion so many times 🤦🏻‍♀️ I think because the weathers been so lovely too and Asda have had their summer deals Sun = Beer at the mo.

Due to circumstances etc I have my own flat too so have somewhere for us to go if anything did ever happen or if I felt like I needed to get out💕 xxx

Also actually now I think about it we don’t really have any soft drinks except tea/ coffee which he doesn’t drink.

Might make sure we’ve always got some coke/lemonade/Ribena in. He always drinks those when they’re around so might help on cutting back on beers xxx

If he has a few beers after work every work day then I'm afraid he's an alcoholic.