Apologies in advance for the insanely long post.
I think I had an aha moment this evening… I’ve been reading for years about narcissistic partners and couldn’t see the specimen I have in my own home.
Let me know if I’m right or not seeing things properly because I’m quite angry.
I had both DC at home from school today with some sort of mild illness. Not a problem at all, as there is a very small age gap between them and they are generally very sweet and low maintenance. My lovely husband texted me this evening pics of a parking sign with the added message ‘2 hours pls’. I couldn’t understand why 1. he can’t park by himself like an adult; 2. Texting at 7 to be parked in the city centre when he should be either at home or on the way back from work. I called to ask the above and he said ‘I’ve just come out of a wine tasting with some mates and we’re about to go have dinner’.
I ended the convo sharpish and I texted him that if he ever treats me as a bloody secretary in order to impress his friends (although he should understand that he looks stupid for having such a daft wife doing his f**ing admin) he’ll have to deal with some nasty consequences.
Anyway, while still thinking about what just occurred, I started having flashes of his behaviour that clearly puts him in the Narcissistic category:
— constantly ignoring his DC at home, then saying ‘alright, let’s go to the garden’ where he will have an irritatingly loud and fake 10 mins happy wrestling with them for our poor neighbours to admire his fatherly skills. Same if he happens to be walking with them around our area, awkward dancing and skipping in case other parents from school spot him being what he thinks is a 2.0 father
— coming angry from seeing mates and finding out that one of them just purchased a new home and ‘and now he’s got more homes than me and I look like a bloody idiot’
- Renovating our home with so many flashy details I’m embarrassed to have friends or neighbours over
- saying our marriage is better than anyone’s in our group of friends and we will never divorce (I took that as a sort of compliment, now I realise I have no chance of divorcing him because he needs to win the longest and happiest marriage competition
- coming angry from a birthday party where the birthday boy spoke fluently 3 languages and having a go at me because I haven’t taught our DC at least 2 additional languages so he doesn’t look silly in front of people
- This morning he drove past a school where our DC are due to start in September and called me angry to say that the parents look ‘pretty broke, I bloody hope they’re nannies otherwise this move is a massive mistake’
He does nice things for us, but I now realise it’s because we become grateful and complimentary, he’s probably addicted to that.