Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I call in sick??

22 replies

Ilovetea13 · 29/06/2022 18:49

My son has a annual event at his school next Thursday.
It lasts for 2/3 hours max. He's in year 5.
My son has had a lot of health problems over the last few years and has had multiple operations. He also has severe anxiety and autism.
I really want to go(and school only told us on the last minute) .
I spoke to work asked if I could have a few hours off in the afternoon.
I know there under no obligation to let me do this but I work my socks off and have a highly stressful job, I'm a single parent.
I was told they'll have a look but instead of letting me have it off they have now added more work on to me and never even gave me a yes or no.
My son is really upset and now says he won't go unless I go and watch.
Shall I just give myself a sick day and go anyway, or let my son down.
I know most parents don't have the luxury of going to school events due to work(I rarely get to go to anything) but I just really wanted to be there for this one.
Would it look obvious considering I've already asked? I am looking for a new job by the way.

OP posts:
Galaxyrippleforever · 29/06/2022 18:50

It will look obvious

Anonymous48 · 29/06/2022 18:50

It will be obvious you're not actually sick. Only you know the repercussions of that.

Sirzy · 29/06/2022 18:51

Asking for a day off then phoning in sick when it’s refused will look very obvious and could get you into trouble

Tohaveandtohold · 29/06/2022 18:52

It’ll definitely be obvious because you already asked for the time off. Can you ask if you can take the time off and make up the hours or ask if you can use some of your annual leave?

tttigress · 29/06/2022 18:52

Ask for day off, don't get it, then call in sick on that day, I think it might look pretty obvious what is going on.

Gazelda · 29/06/2022 18:54

I think you should ask again whether your leave request has been approved or not.

If it hasn't, then I don't think you can phone in sick. It'll be blatantly obvious that you're not sick. And you won't enjoy the event, because you'll be worrying about possibly facing disciplinary when you return to work.

Mochalatteeyeahyaya · 29/06/2022 19:05

Definitely very obvious , could you not swap the shift with a colleague ?

This causes all sorts of consequences, personally and professionally, your colleagues who will have to work harder etc to make up your work ,whilst they know your not really sick ,is like a F you to them... Trust me I know, I also know that it's hard to give everyone everyday off, no matter how frequent they ask or don't.... I've had to make a few tough choices regarding rotas this week for graduation etc and trust me, as bad as it is the management team haven't gave you a answer, they will feel bad for having to say no, if not then you have a totally shitty management team.

ilovesooty · 29/06/2022 19:26

It doesn't seem a good idea.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 29/06/2022 22:30

Push them to answer if you can have the time off. Say you'll make up the time if they really need you to

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 29/06/2022 22:34

If you call in sick on that day it looks obvious. If you go off sick the day before (hald day oh no I feel really sick and vomited in the toilet) or take the day off sick after as well it looks less obvious.

People who have 1 day off sick are rarely sick.

Wpuld I do it in your situation...possibly.

Naenaespet · 29/06/2022 22:39

I’d do it. It is irrelevant if it’s obvious because it is SO hard to prove. If you are sick, you can still go out / socialise. You could argue that this causes mental distress and so your sickness is mental health related. I don’t see the benefit in their behaviour and life is too short. The mental toll can be massive even if you don’t realise it at the time. One day employers will cotton on and realise the intrinsic cost of their behaviour.

Shiningstarr · 29/06/2022 22:42

Family comes first, and life is too short. I say call in sick.

vandertable · 29/06/2022 23:41

Ask them again, explaining the reason clearly as you've done here, and pointing out you only need 2-3 hours and are happy to make them up. If it's a decent job and a decent employer there's no way they'll refuse you.

Phoning in sick would be a bad idea once you've already asked for the time off. The lesson I'd take would be in future don't ask, instead of taking 2-3 hours phone in sick and take 2-3 days. And definitely look for a job elsewhere if that's how they treat hard-working staff who are trying to do the honest thing.

mrselizabethdarcy · 29/06/2022 23:45

I'd call in sick definitely.

Isausernameavailable · 29/06/2022 23:58

Teach your child that lying is ok? If you're not sick don't lie and steal a day's pay. Where's your integrity?

Vikinga · 30/06/2022 00:02

Surely they can give you a few hours off? If you're looking for a new job anyway just take it off sick if they won't let you have it off.

MarmiteCoriander · 30/06/2022 00:11

How did you ask initially? I'd put it in writing, briefly, and the fact you will make the hours up on X day etc. Of course it would be obvious taking it off as sick!

Gazelda · 30/06/2022 07:33

Naenaespet · 29/06/2022 22:39

I’d do it. It is irrelevant if it’s obvious because it is SO hard to prove. If you are sick, you can still go out / socialise. You could argue that this causes mental distress and so your sickness is mental health related. I don’t see the benefit in their behaviour and life is too short. The mental toll can be massive even if you don’t realise it at the time. One day employers will cotton on and realise the intrinsic cost of their behaviour.

But what about the mental toll of knowing that your employer and your colleagues will forever strongly suspect you of being a liar?

I'd find it difficult to face them the next time I was on shift. And I'd forever be worrying that I don't have their trust.

OP, I hope you've been able to clarify whether your leave has been approved. Other posters' suggestions to say you'll make the time up at a specified point.

comealongponds · 30/06/2022 07:42

YABU

it will look really obvious and while it may be difficult for them to prove it in order to take disciplinary action, they’ll remember it and hold it against you.

Momicrone · 30/06/2022 08:11

I would go

IamnotSethRogan · 30/06/2022 08:22

Why would they not give you the day off ?

Whitehorsegirl · 30/06/2022 08:34

I would call in sick but don't do it just for the day you asked for time off...do it a couple of days beforehand.

You can self-certify for up to 7 days.

Life is too short to miss important occasions with your kids. It sounds like your boy had such a tough time already.

I would also use the time off to speed up your job hunt. Employers who fail to support those who perform well all the time on the one occasion where they need to be there for their kid are not worth giving any loyalty too. It has to work both ways.

I really don't get people who have the mentality that the employer is always right and work should come above anything else no matter how you are treated. Remember that this employer would make you redundant in a minute if that suited their business and has no loyalty to you.

if you are planning to leave that job anyway who cares if they will assume you did this because they refused your day of leave.

I assume everyone who commented is such a paragon of virtue that they never used a sick day to do something else but in the real world many of us will have done just that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page