Ainu to ask dd to cover up?

[bloodyunicorns]

18yo dd bought a lacy bra top - which is a top, not underwear. She was about to walk into town for a night out wearing it, nothing over it.

WIBU to ask her to cover up until she gets to the pub?!

Mum of a 17 nearly 18 year old, that top, jeans, hoody. Standard wear. I used to wear crop, strap tops in the 90s, very similar.

She's going out for a drink in town. I'd imagine she understands exactly what kind of reaction she will get in that kind of top.

I would ask her to wear something over it until she gets to where she is going. Of course she can wear what she wants etc. But 18 year olds are innocent and naïve. It's a parent's job to protect them and try to stop them learning the hard way. We all know what many men are going to be thinking when they see a young girl in a top like that. I wouldn't want my daughter to be the target of that.

If she goes out wearing something that looks like underwear, she will get attention for wearing something that looks like underwear - which is likely what she wants. She is 18, she likes male attention.

The top looks lovely. Makes me want to be young again so I could wear one myself.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that top.

I’ve seen my two elder girls wear similar. I might suggest a jacket for coming home, but no chance I’d suggest they change because of some men.

By that age the talks about keeping themselves safe, especially if they love the totteringly high heels that some young ones do, are all in place already.

No and we shouldn't lock our houses because there are burglars. I bet you still lock your house though.

I've had 18 year old daughters OP. One of them was a goth one of them would wear crop tops and such like.

I always encouraged them to dress in what they wanted to wear not wear things to appease other people.

Back in the 60s and 70 when I was a young woman I wore short skirts and sometimes I wore skimpy tops - not both at the same time - I learned to ignore idiot men who made comments or beeped at me.

She's not walking around naked. She's wearing perfectly respectable clothes.

Yes, I do lock my house. If I left it unlocked it would on a par with a young woman walking around naked; anyone could walk into my unlocked house and if a young woman walked around naked everything would be exposed.

I was imagining something much skimpier than that. That's just the fashion right now. I remember wearing strappy tops that showed my stomach off when I was 16-20 and thinking I looked so cool. I wish I had the body to wear something like that now with some high-waisted jeans, especially in the summer heat, but after two kids that's a no for me!
I wouldn't make her cover up but I'd definitely suggest taking something to wear later or she'll end up cold!

YWBU to ask her to change her outfit. Not unreasonable perhaps to remind her that she might get some unwanted attention - although it's very much more of a top than a bra that your opening post suggested - but she's 18, she'll have already been getting unwanted attention for years at that age, she knows.
The latter was the approach my parents went for when I wore late 90s sheer t-shirts with just a bra underneath. They wouldn't ever have told me what to wear, but offered the suggestion that having something to cover up might be a good idea, in case I ended up feeling a bit exposed.

My nearly 18 year old dd has a very similar top, she had it on last week with baggy jeans and converse, it looked nice.

Unwanted attention freqently has very little to do with what a woman is wearing.

I’ve got a 25 year old and 23 year old dd. Been there, done that. They are adults.

I also have a 20 year old son, he’s aware that a woman’s clothing isn’t consent to behave like a twat.

It’s a pretty top.

I wonder how many people responding actually have 18yo DDs!! I think replies might be different if you're talking about an abstract situation or your own dd....

Why? Because you don't like the answers?

We were all 18 once so your point is irrelevant anyway.

Loads of young girls are wearing tops like that.

I wore less than that to go to raves in the 90s: a neon bra, fishnets and a tiny skirt. Look at hippies in the 70s, they went out in bikini tops. Look at pictures of girls out in corsets at goth nights.

Gorgeous top. I wore far less at the age. I’d probably wear that top now though tbh and I’m 39

I had some questionable outfits back in my clubbing days.

I can honestly say that I got the same amount of unwanted male attention whether I was wearing a miniscule outfit or something more conservative.

I'd be more worried that she'd catch her death o'cold 😁

I'd suggest she takes a lightweight cover up with her. Then if she finds she's getting attention that isn't welcome she can have options.

That's all. It's her choice, ultimately you just want her to be safe.

That's a lovely top. My DDs are 19 and 21.

It;s a lovely top - not a bra - she's an adult

and yes my DD's are 14,18 and 20 and I don't police their clothes

No.

It is her time, respect her youth.

I wore some unsightly clothing in my youth thankfully I grew out of it.

Looks awful on most women, but I defend the choice to look awful. As the OP points out, not the only upper half clothing her DD has taken with her.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that TOP it's the fashion! Hell it was the fashion in the 80's! I wore something really similar back then when I had the figure for it!

My own dd is 21, stunning and wears very similar indeed sometimes even more revealing clothes (raves, festivals etc)

So not an abstract concept at all!

She's also in a rg uni doing well on a demanding course.

Seriously this is just the fashion right now.

I'll talk to her about it.

Why?! There's absolutely no need