My brother is a single dad to his 9 year old son (Jack) since his partner (louise) died in a Road accident last year.
Basically, my brother is not a nice person and not parenting jack appropriately. Things weren't great even when his mum was alive. Obviously not wanting to speak ill of the dead, but it was a very tumultuous situation even before she died - both of them drinking too much, drink driving, take cocain, lots of rows and police being called etc they definitely always drank around Jack and would have parties where he was the only child in a room full of drunk random adults they've invited back from the pub. Jack wasn't a planned pregnancy and it is suspected he might have foetal alcohol syndrome (based on physical appearance and behaviour, but my brother and his partner refused to pursue a diagnosis or even acknowledge this).
There is a lot more but I would be typing all day. Social services have been involved on occasions, police have been round a lot due to DV (her against my brother, although I'm sure he isn't blameless). Nothing has ever happened to pursue things further, I don't know why or how as it doesn't seem right or plausible. I don't know if it's a lack of resources or my brother talking his way out of things - he can be very charming, well spoken, they have a nice home in a good area with a flash car, Jack always dressed smartly etc, so maybe because things look superficially alright... I don't know.
Anyway, to my problem: Jack goes to private school (largely because his state primary school kept reporting concerns about the family and giving them a hard time about how much school he misses). Now he is in private, he barely goes to school at all. The death of his mum has obviously genuinely hit them both hard but it has also given my brother free reign to keep Jack at home. School never challenge this as far as I can see. He keeps him home sometimes because he can't be bothered taking him, getting all his uniform and stuff ready, sometimes I think it is because he misses Louise and needs company but will treat him as an adult - take him to pubs with him for example. Jack has so much going against him, I really fear for his future as it is, but falling behind at school and growing apart from his friends is not helping
I think, given how shit things at home are, the more time at school Jack has the better. I guess because it is a private school they don't have to report excessive absence? I have contacted school and expressed my concerns. They won't talk to me about it, which I understand from a gdpr point of view. But what can I do? How can I get this flagged up? I'm angry at the school as I feel they are colluding with my brother - collecting his money each term and turning a blind eye to what is going on.
I don't know who or how to report this to be honest - can ofsted do anything? Or should I report my brother to SS?