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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start refusing to pick up the DSes clothes from the floor

38 replies

saltire · 16/01/2008 08:48

Today they wanted their school uniforms. I pointed to teh heaps on the floor and said "There they are". Ds1 started whingeing that they were dirty and creased.
SO i said yes they probably are, but unless they fold them up on the bed so I can have a look at them, or put them in the laundry baskiet for washing,them I am going to refuse to pick them up.
So they are both going off to school with trousers covered in mud and food and sweatshirts covered in food

So, AIBU

OP posts:
MamaG · 16/01/2008 08:50

how old are they?

Tortington · 16/01/2008 08:54

i tell my kids to hand uniform up and get changed wen they come home - they hang the uniform up in the dining room so i know its done.

sometimes they forget and i forget to ask - iget shouty and make them iron it. but if they were too young to iron then i would get shouty and iron it

if the uniform is dirty tey have to put in washing machine and turn on.

i then call them a bit later to put i dryer

they then iron.

my rule is that we send them clean washed and ironed on monday

if they play footy in mud - they wash and iron it second time

bozza · 16/01/2008 08:59

When I read the title on active convo's my first thought was "I sincerely doubt it". Know you are not. My rule is that DS should bring his trousers and sweatshirt for me to check. If they are OK, they should be laid out in his bedroom for morning. His shirt and any dirty items should go in basket. This does have to be repeated several times however.

needmorecoffee · 16/01/2008 09:01

Yanbu. I am fed up of trawling rooms for dirty clothes so if its not in the washing basket, it doesn't get washed.
ds1 (14) now brings his uniform downstairs. And no reason why he shouldn't. He's nearly an adult and isn't disabled so he can help out.

Original poster
saltire · 16/01/2008 09:04

DS1 will be 10 in a couple of months, DS2 has just turned 8.

OP posts:
Original poster
saltire · 16/01/2008 09:05

I'm on a mission today, am sick of clothes, PS2games, toys, Cds DVds etc lying on floor, so later am going up to clear everything out and will leave them with books and colouring stuff!
Will DVDs, etc be ok in garage for a few days? It can get a damp in there

OP posts:
MamaG · 16/01/2008 09:05

YA def NBU then. My DD is 8 and I force like her to fold hers up. I send her to school in creased clothes if she doesn't [hard bitch emoticon]

duchesse · 16/01/2008 09:06

I started sweeping up my 14 yr old son's belongings from...wherever the fancy took him to drop them, and dump them - dirty, clean, exercise/ text books, toys etc, all together in a large plastic crate in the utility room. It was out of sight from my point on view, and enough of an inconvenience for him not ot find things where he'd dumped them that he suddenly started focusing on what he was doing with his stuff.

candypandy · 16/01/2008 09:20

Yanbu and admire your chutzpah. I still pick up. Was v impressed by thread of mother who thought she was too strict. Her children did these things automatically.

Am on plan for children to "sort out dvds" before they get to watch any more tv. But when they've done all their homework and taken their dishes out and had a full day of school can't bring myself to make them "file" for half an hour.

Must do it this weekend. Am going to try again with the clothes after reading how tough you guys are. I think you are all right and I am too mimsy wimsy.

Original poster
saltire · 16/01/2008 09:23

We are getting them bunk beds - have no choice, the rooms are so small. SO it will give them more floor space . I have also got tehm a shelf unti for storing DVds and PS2 games, which will go in their rooms once bunks arrive.

OP posts:
Original poster
saltire · 16/01/2008 09:23

We are getting them bunk beds - have no choice, the rooms are so small. SO it will give them more floor space . I have also got tehm a shelf unti for storing DVds and PS2 games, which will go in their rooms once bunks arrive.

OP posts:
candypandy · 16/01/2008 09:43

what do you do if they don't care if they have to wear clothes off the floor? this stumps me with a 12 y o

Minum · 16/01/2008 10:14

Candypandy - this is my problem, they'll happily put on smelly wet clothes, so I can carry on ignoring the pile on the floor, but it wont train them to be organised, and ensure their clothes are dealt with properly.

admylin · 16/01/2008 10:34

I find though, the more space they have - the more mess they make. Ds is a tidy child but dd is a messy and I've just removed her big desk/table and loads of boxes and baskets from her room and replaced it with a smaller desk and a stack of plastic baskets so she doesn't have the option to spread out anymore. Her big table was so full that she couldn't even use it as a table to work at anymore.

candypandy · 16/01/2008 10:43

I want them to grow up neat (ish) people. But am stuck with the dilemma:

if they live all the time in a neat and tidy place (ie I do it) will they get used to it and be the same once leave home and can't bear the mess

if I make THEM make it a neat and tidy place will they collapse into mess when they leave home in the same way kids eg never touch the violin again because they were forced to do it

do you know what I mean? first option is easier for me and that's what I end up doing even though i end up hissing and muttering

missnevermind · 16/01/2008 10:53

We have a rule in my house that I only do 2nd stage cleaning.
They do a general tidy and pick up. I do the sorting and polishing. But I will not start until they have done their bit.
Mine are 7 and nearly 10.

candypandy · 16/01/2008 10:57

I'm impressed.

admylin · 16/01/2008 10:58

candypandy, you could be right. I remember my mum telling us that when she left home when she got married she didn't even realise that you had to change the towels and bedding - it had always been done for her by my gran who was the perfect and very hardworking housewife. My mum had to learn everything the hard way!

Pebblemum · 16/01/2008 11:49

I have this problem with ds1, he seems to think I will go around and tidy up after him. He is 10 and for the past year seems to have forgotten where the wash basket is. At first i picked it all up and washed it but now I leave it to him. I wash and iron anything that is put out but refuse to trawl his pit for dirty clothes. I also dont put the clean clothes away for him, i feel he is at an age where he should be responsible for the way he looks ie if he doesnt put his clothes away properly and they get screwed up then it is his fault and he will have to wear them like that (unless we are going anywhere important)

The only problem is he shares a room with ds2 and im worried his messiness with rub off on him (he is 4 and at the moment isnt too bad)

My MIL did everything for my dh and I have had nothing but problems trying to get him realise that im not a slave, he can do things for himself sometimes. Even now after 7rs together he will still leave clothes on the bedroom floor expecting me to wash them but i just put them on his side of the bed and ignore them until a time comes when he realises he is running out of undies and sorts them out himself. This kills me as i hate mess but I dont feel i should run around after him whe i have 3 kids to sort out.

I think thats why i want my dc's to learn to do things themselves, i dont want their girlfriends/wives having the same problems i have had lol

OrmIrian · 16/01/2008 11:52

"Ds1 started whingeing that they were dirty and creased."

Now there would lie the flaw. In our house they wouldn't notice or probably care.

candypandy · 16/01/2008 12:25

yes pebblemum this is it exactly

i think all mine including dh believe in the ironing fairy

it is NOT going to be fair on their future wives

the boy's future wives i mean

or do I?

lizziemun · 16/01/2008 12:58

YANBU

they need to be taught early so it becomes a habit.

DD1 nearly 4 already puts her dirty clothes either in the washing machine if her clothes are taken of downstairs or on the washing pyle behind our bedroom door, makes her bed and puts her plate in kitchen after her dinner.

I just need to teach dh (nearly 37yrs)to do the same he just leaves thing where they land then the cleaning/washing fairy comes along and tidies up oh no that me.

As i say we share the housework

He makes it, I do it .

OrmIrian · 16/01/2008 13:18

But how do you make sure they are really dirty clothes lizziemun? I know families where every garment gets chucked in the washning basket as soon as it's worn, dirty or not. And I refuse to wash clean clothes.

lizziemun · 16/01/2008 13:40

I'm lucky that dd1 doesn't get clothes out of her drawers. So it is only clothes that she is wearing.

lizziemun · 16/01/2008 13:44

Sorry i am assuming you are asking about dd1 and not dh.