For this to feel like a smack in the teeth?

[FireGivesWarmth]

Pic of exh popped up on my fb, mutual friend put it up. Local news report. He's been given an award for his support for local hospital. He's got cancer.
The pic made me jump. He's was violent to me and eldest. And also raped me twice during the relationship.

Just wanting to vent really. No one knows what a twat he really is, apart from me and eldest. Makes me sick.

Nah, it's a shitty comment to make.
Cancer isn't karma, it's a disease because something mutated in their body. Bad people get cancer, good people get cancer.
She's allowed to wish him dead but fuck sake have some compassion for other people who may have cancer themselves reading that and thinking 'is it my karma?'

Karma.* should read

Thanks @Lalosalamanca

For him, it's his just desserts, karma, everything he deserves, whatever .

Weirdly, the rapes and the beatings weren't the worst for me. It was when he assaulted my teenage daughter.

I'm not talking about 'amazing people' I'm talking about a rapist wife/child beater.

My experience.

@FireGivesWarmth Hugs for you.
My sister was married to a bastard of a bloke who almost broke her with his beatings, psychological abuse, rape and downright torture.
He died in a car accident shortly after she left.
Her response was to actually go and pee on his grave. I know that sounds gross and wrong, but that was the level of contempt that she felt for him.

Most welcome @FireGivesWarmth

I'm.sorry you and your daughter went through this. I agree sounds like karma. I hope this thought brings you some comfort.

Just ignore the idiots on here, OP. They're just trying to twist things. You are entitled to feel (and say) whatever you want.

I knew what you meant.

Very well said!

Smack in the teeth for anyone with cancer then - I'm sure your comment has filled them & their loved ones with cheer.

The problem here is that the OP didn't just 'think shitty thoughts', she actually said it and unfortunately saying she thinks the cancer is karmic, is very obviously upsetting for some.

Agree. I know several wonderful people who have cancer or have died of it, and one particularly evil scumbag who is in perfect health.

The OP isn't saying that it's karma for everyone who gets cancer. It's karma for him, he's got to suffer now after making her and her daughter suffer.

She isn't saying that it's karma for everyone who gets cancer.

I've lost family members to cancer who were the kindest people and who I adored. Not one thing the OP has said made me think that it was aimed at people like them.

Sorry to hear that OP.

My abuser got a bloody CBE.

@WhenISnappedAndFarted yep, me too

Oh @PixiePirate that's proper shit.

Just musing...when, if ever, is it appropriate to tell the kids their dad is horrible (beyond what they already know)?

As a general principle I think you should always tell the truth to children, in an age appropriate way.

Also you should try not to make them feel that they are stuck in or part of someone else's crisis.

So this could mean being factually honest about things that happened, things that their dad did. And to say how that made you feel, or to say that many people would view that as unacceptable behaviour- these are also facts.

Try to avoid trying to win her over to your point of view, don't ask her if she agrees. If she expresses a point of view try to help her know that her opinions are valid, whatever they are.