To feel so sad /guilty

[Rosebel]

I haven't even started yet and I already feel awful. New job on Monday and I am looking forward to it, quite excited.
But I am going to miss my litte boy so much. I'll be working at a nursery and he'll be going there too but obviously I will be in a different room to him.
With my teenagers I was a SAHM until youngest was 4 and then only worked part time. I'm now going to be doing 40 hours a week over 4 days (Monday to Thursday) and I'll barely see my little boy.
He's just turned 2 and has development delay (I actually think he's autistic as he reminds me a lot of DD2) and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
On top of that he absolutely loves his current nursery and I'm worried he won't like his new one so much.
I had to leave my last job as it was causing me serious mental health problems and I accepted this job because it's what I want to do and it's better paid. I also needed to do more hours because of the cost of living.
Yet I feel I'm letting my son down. In a lot of ways he's still like a baby, not walking or talking (we are waiting for appointment for physio and speech and language therapy). I'm scared he'll reject me or resent me. Am I being really selfish? Should I turn the job down?
YABU - take the job your son will be fine
YANBU - turn the job down and focus on your son.

Is there any carers payment you can get if he is diagnosed?

I think you have to do what you need to do in order to get your own financial and physical needs met as well as your son’s social and developmental needs. There isn’t one single answer to how anyone can do that and i personally think it is worth pursuing things and trying them to see what works for your family and what doesn’t. You can always change you mind and look for something more suitable as time moves on.

My DS was diagnosed with ASD aged 3 and most of his autistic peers parents one or the other went on some sort of carer’s leave early on but in the end we didn’t need to as my husband started up his own business and was able to work much more flexibly because of that. But it took a few paths to move towards that. We also found a childminder/nanny worked better for DS when he was younger.

My DD2 didn't get diagnosed until she was 10 although we suspected that she was before that but I don't know if I'm just seeing things that aren't there with DS.
My DH wants me to take the job and keeps reminding me I'll have 3 days at home with DS and that he'll help out with appointments when we finally get them.
I just worry that my son will prefer his key worker over me or that he won't settle at all.