Do you think dating and romantic relationships are tiring?

[PainfulAnkles]

Looking back at a lot of threads in romance alley. Dating and relationships seem extremely exhausting. Having to be under someone constantly, having to deal with a whole nother human being with their own ideals, values, quirks. Having to compromise for them. I'm so exhausted even by thinking about it. :emojiheadbandage: At least when you're by yourself all you have to deal with is yourself

At least with friends, you meet up to eat and have fun for a couple of hours then go to your seperate houses. With dating and partners there is the constant texting and talking. I don't even like staying on the phone longer than 10 minutes. Having to be laid up in bed with them every night.

When I see all these things you have to do just to be in a relationship. People telling you to dress a certain way, text a certain way, talk, flirt whatever a certain way. Not to mention all the physical stuff. It's so many rules and its so tiring.

Dating can be tiring, but that's not always a negative thing. Days out, nights out, holidays, fun can be tiring too. A good romantic relationship should not be tiring. I don't recognise your last paragraph from any relationship I've been in, it sounds like you're describing a controlling, potentially abusive relationship. A good partner should support you and energise you.

What does Having to be under someone constantly mean? Was that a typo?

And meant to say, a romance forum isn't an unbiased account of relationships. Far more people with problems post. Nobody's posting saying 'I had a great day with DH and enjoyed his company'

Who is telling you how to dress, talk, text and flirt a certain way? What do you mean by be under someone constantly? This has never been my experience of dating and relationships.

Relationships aren’t for everyone, plenty of people are happily single and that’s fine

But a good relationship isn’t anything like what you’re describing. It’s a real joy and a lovely thing to have a partner and feel contentment, excitement and real love for someone else.

Also, relationships don’t have to be how you’re describing. My husband and I have plenty of time and space from each other - time for our own social lives when we don’t text every moment that we are apart etc.

The healthiest way forward is the one that’s right for you but don’t assume all relationships have the same formula.

I get you. My bestie and I have great, happy marriages and our husbands are also best friends, but we both said that should anything happen to our relationships we would never do it again and don’t understand anyone go goes back for a second / third etc round. Let alone having more children with their new partners. It would be mild dating all the way, never more.

I hate dating new people - that’s exhausting - but I loved being in a relationship where I could be myself and enjoy spending time just hanging out watching tv together etc. I didn’t find that tiring at all, it added joy to my life. (Except for the arguments which drained me).