I've got a dilemma and I'm not sure if I'm too close to this to make a rational judgement call. I also am a SW - although I've never worked in CP apart from uni placements years ago. I also had a childhood where I ended up in care so feel Very strongly about children being left with shit parents. I don't know whether to report or not.
My ex husband has a child with a woman, they weren't together, it was a fling. Ever since they've been in conflict, the child is now 9. He rings me for advice and I did give him advice from a CP colleague last year on how to go about having his son full-time. He didn't take it. The poor boy has quite a few issues with anxiety, he has (without a diagnosis but I am quite experienced in this) attachment difficulties and my ex husband has put a lot of his own anxieties on to him.
His son does, imo, play both parents off of each other. The mum has headbutted my ex on one occasion where his son said some untrue things about my ex. The boy has also made up things that my ex husband automatically believes - things like he didn't get any Christmas presents when he had lots. I think, he makes up things because either he feels sad and doesn't know how to express it, or he gets positive attention from either parent. He's a very confused little boy who has been the competition prize for many years. He's also very bright.
Ex husband is feeling very worried about his son. His son is telling him things that his mum is doing, such as shouting at him, shouting at others in the street and getting so worked up she was hitting herself and screaming, whilst the boy was terrified and crying. Apparently she keeps shouting at their son telling him to live with his dad. Other times she tells their son that his dad doesn't love him and really goes in on him. She is now living with an alcoholic who she hasn't known very long. Their son is having nightmares and won't be alone, ex husband has to follow him to the toilet, stand in the bathroom whilst he showers, he sleeps on a fold out bed in ex husbands bedroom and they go to bed at the same time.
There have been numerous incidents over the years with police and SS involvement, althought they speak to mum and close the case. They've never spoken to ex husband, even when the police have been involved (neighbours rang the police because they were outside arguing and she was trying to drag the boy back in her house and exh was there to pick him up for contact).
I don't think it warrents enough for a CP plan but yet their little boy is damaged by it all. I don't think either of them have helped the situation and I can't really understand why ex husband didn't take advice given last year and now it's just got worse. I do feel like I want to report this, it's not good parenting. Imagine watching your mum going ballistic and hitting herself whilst screaming at someone else? It's damaging. I'm also tempted to ring her and ask if she needs some support because it sounds like she isn't coping very well. Is this worth me getting involved and the shit storm that will insue after?
AIBU to get involved?