AIBU to be upset no one acknowledged DS's birthday.

[Spani]

DS had his 3rd birthday yesterday. SIL and BIL gave us a card/gift for DS when we last saw them in May, PIL gave us a gift/card for him when we saw them a couple of weeks ago. Neighbours brought balloons round. DS has four godparents - two are a couple and they sent a gift/card in the post, another sent a card and the other messaged to say we need to see her soon (she's not local) because she has a gift. MIL messaged in the morning, non-local Godparent messaged in the morning, Godparent couple called after nursery, SIL and BIL also called after nursery. So, in fact, a lot of people acknowledged DS's birthday.

However, I have two brothers and a sister and two parents - none of them acknowledged DS's birthday at all. No gifts, no cards, no phone calls, no messages - nothing. DSis had a birthday last week, I know DH and I sent her a card and flowers, I know DM definitely sent a card. We had a group phone call which everyone was on - and everyone messaged on the group chat to wish her a happy birthday. DN recently had a birthday too (there are only two cousins so far). Again, I know DH and I sent a card and a gift. I'm certain other relatives will have done too. There was a group chat which everyone attended which lasted almost two hours, some of us then met up at DMs in the afternoon. So, it's not like we're just a family that doesn't acknowledge birthdays. My birthday is just before DNs and I didn't get any cards or gifts, DBro messaged but a day early (bless him) and his girlfriend messaged on the correct day. I can see from the group chat that DBro and DSis spoke for over an hour yesterday morning so surely not a case of being too busy to phone/message.

I'm really upset. I know DS is only 3 and didn't really notice it was his birthday, let alone anything else. I know the rest of the world doesn't care about DS as much as I do. And I also know DS had a lot of gifts and attention and love from so many other people. I know DS wouldn't even be able to read a message or know it had been sent. But, anyway, I feel how I how - and how I feel is upset. Is this normal?

I think both. The detailed tally of who sent /did what is just OTT. Yanbu, in wanting a message or text wishing your ds but expecting presents is just grabby. Don't make this a thing and cause issues in the family. You chose to send flowers and cards, etc. Not everyone can do gifts. It would be nice to receive a text but people forget.

I'd be really upset by this! Do your family normally give him gifts/cards??? Could it be an oversight?

I'd definitely be sending a message to your parents, at the very least, and reminding them that it was actually their grandson's birthday.

I couldn't be bothered by all of this listing who bought/sent gifts etc.. It is petty.
What I think is the family have forgotten and OP should just ask if they have. Simple

’People’ might forget but grandparents and aunts and uncles are not just ‘people’. 🙄

I think it’s reasonable to be upset OP. It’s very, very weird that they didn’t acknowledge their grandchild’s/nephews birthday. I’d just be a bit wtaf and wouldn’t really know what to say as it’s so weird.

I hope he had a lovely day. 🎈 🎂

Are you the person who reminds your family when it is others birthdays?

My family didn't quite forget my birthday the year I moved out, but they didn't call until evening when I'd gone out and it stung to get no cards or gifts from them. So I remind our siblings about DS birthday; I know I would be upset if they forgot, so I don't let them. I wouldn't expect to tell our parents though, and would be quite shocked if they didn't remember.

I think they all forgot. Who organised the group chats for the other birthdays?

That. When a whole family has forgotten, it sounds like they rely on someone to be the keeper of the birthday calendar, and that someone forgot.

Just message the family group to ask (without any snippiness at this point) if they've forgotten.

Looking back through the chat...

On my DSis's birthday, DBro started the group chat. On DN's birthday DM messaged, then DBro's girlfriend messaged, then DM started the group chat.

Just invite them all over for a bbq next time and those who care enough will come and enjoy his day with him.

This sounds extremely odd imho. We can all forget birthdays but this sounds very strange to me

just tell them: look, family, you're all fuckers. I remember your and your children's birthdays and you all forgot DS.

And then see what happens. You don't have to say fuckers. I would because i'm a sweary bugger.

Unfortunately, we all live a good few hours away from each other and some actually live abroad so it's not too feasible to do that. DN's birthday was a weekend so that's why some of us were able to meet up then. It's a consideration though.

Bunty55 · Today 11:31

I couldn't be bothered by all of this listing who bought/sent gifts etc.. It is petty.
What I think is the family have forgotten and OP should just ask if they have. Simple.

^^this

We're a pretty sweary bunch too so I might use this haha.

Seriously, instead of talking to us, just message your family.

"It was DS's birthday yesterday. Did you all forget?"
...and leave it at that for now.

I have four siblings who have 8 dcs between them. I only remember the first born's birthday. After that they tend to merge into one.
They probably just forgot. It doesn't mean they don't care.

I know this is just me because I've been told at length before that I'm weird, but I don't get the whole birthday hype. I have 4, my brother has 3 my sister has 3&2step children. I honestly don't know when their birthdays are unless something big is being arranged. I know my own kids birthdays and I'm not fussed either way who says happy birthday or not, they're my kids not theirs, between that and crazy adult birthday dramas I just don't get the hype. Same as Christmas who bought what who said what, it's all just crazy to me. I get it, it's nice to be aknowleged and all families work differently but it's the day YOU gave birth and I can't see why it's a snub when people forget. I've forgotten my own birthday two years in a row now 🤣 let it go and just stop spending money you don't have to for people that don't for you. Fully prepared to be flamed but it's a headache surely noone wants or needs