Potential ASD - please help.

[MamaWingsIt]

Posting for traffic (sorry I usually hate that!) as no one replied in the parenting section.

Hi, sorry if this is a long one but I'm needing some guidance/advice from parents who've been through similar please!

DS (6) has always had quite obvious 'traits' we've noticed. Has two topics in which he's obsessed with, as in it's all he'll ever want to talk about, day or night, very knowledgable on those two topics.

His sleep - pretty much non-existent. He'll go to sleep around 8:45pm most nights after finally reassuring over and over that we are here (upstairs with him) and he's ok, safe, we love him etc etc. Wakes on average 4/5 times per night, distraught each time, can't tell us why. This wakes DD (2) so both working parents are running on empty.

He's very, very literal. can't quite grasp a figure of speech/joke, got to know "what do you mean" and takes things very seriously. Can't play little jokes with him like we successfully can/do with DD.

It's got to the point we have noticed DD is much more independent, even being 4 years younger. She likes to pop into the kitchen alone to put something in the bin, help herself to a snack (in the 'kiddy' drawer - bottom of fridge) whereas he simply cannot go without an adult, or to the toilet alone etc.

School have recently suggested an ED Psych. Teacher doesn't necessarily think ASD she said, but he's quite far behind even with completing reading/work at home with me.

I don't know what I'm looking for here, sorry, I'm just a bit scrambled at the moment and I'm looking for parents with experience of similar and your outcomes/coping strategies.

Thanks so much x

Teacher, and parent of an autistic teen here. If you are being offered access to the diagnostic pathway (e.g. an ed psych) then grab it with both hands. The class teacher is NOT qualified to diagnose, or even to give an opinion on whether they think a child is autistic or not - people train for many years to be able to assess children accurately, and the information you have given is more than enough to trigger a proper assessment.

My most valuable learning has come from autistic adults and researchers. There is an awful lot of unhelpful, medicalised, ableist rubbish spouted by neurotypical 'experts' (unfotunately including many ed psychs), so please take care with the sources of your information. Particularly watch out for ABA based therapies which aim to make autistic children 'indistinguishable from their peers' by forcing them to mask (pretend to be neurotypical).

This google doc is curated by an autistic adult, and contains huge numbers of links to helpful information on a wide range of topics. It's a great starting point!
docs.google.com/document/d/10bzLJsIbU0rzg2PJFVBAagOC7UcktDJF7j81y6bv4R4/edit?usp=sharing

"Teacher, and parent of an autistic teen here. If you are being offered access to the diagnostic pathway (e.g. an ed psych) then grab it with both hands."

I second this.

I have an autistic child - the pre diagnosis stage was the hardest. All the wondering and analysing did my head in. We too started to really consider autism when younger sibling overtook them in independence, play skills and conversation.

DC is generally thriving now (age 9) - they have friends, a supportive mainstream school and although they take a lot longer to achieve independence in some things they generally get there in the end. Yes, there are challenges to parenting them (they eat very few foods for example) but it’s just a normal part of our generally happy life now.

If school have offered EdPsych then grab it - it’s a very limited resource and not offered for nothing. I’d push for as much help, assessment etc as you can. It’s not an easy process but it’s opened a lot of doors for us.

Thanks so much for your replies!! Will look into that google doc too.

Really appreciate this guidance. I think I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed as I just want the best outcome for DS, whether that be a diagnosis or not, I just want us as his parents to be able to support him in the correct/most appropriate way. X

@MamaWingsIt I know it's an old thread, I wonder if you got any updates about your DS?