To think this isn't actually at all helpful

[Charlavail]

DH is using up some odds and ends annual leave this week.
He offered to take DD to school on the days that he's off. Brilliant I thought I can stay in bed. I usually get up at 6:30 with DD every day.
What actually happened was I have still got up at 6:30 all three days (even when the baby was up at 3am and he admitted he didn't even hear him so it didn't wake him). I have done all the usual getting ready routine with DD all three days while juggling feeding the baby, put washing on the line ect and a few other household jobs before school and he has been staying in bed until 8:20. Then he's been nipping DD across the park to school and is back in 10 minutes. Obviously by this time I'm wide awake and sorted for the day so could take or leave 10 minutes sitting in the house with the baby rather than pushing him in his pram and back. His argument will be that I'm on maternity leave so am "off" anyway. However even if he is at work I get up at least half an hour before him on weekdays and often a few hours before him at weekends. AIBU to say him doing the school run on these days is pointless and not actually beneficial to me at all?

YADNBU

I get exactly the same! I'll take DC today, you have a rest. Then I end up getting DC ready which frankly is the hard bit!

I would worry less about his three days of annual leave and more about his normal contribution. You say you get up with DD at 6.30 every day - IMO you should share the weekend lie ins, one each. That's the battle I'd be fighting!

You are right that it isn’t beneficial to you but it is good opportunity for him to spend time with your DD.

I’d be tempted to have a lie in and he can carry the can for any lateness tomorrow.

Pathetic. Really pathetic. Just a chance for him to feel like some kind of hero for doing the square root of feck all. I know it’s his annual leave, but a) he offered and b) presumably he can have a nap later on his days off and c) if he’s going to be precious about it being his time off, when is your annual leave or time of from the baby while on mat leave?

besides, if you’re up in the night with the baby he should be up at 6:30 with the older child anyway in my opinion.

Maternity leave is OFF 🙄🤯

His argument will be that I'm on maternity leave so am "off" anyway

i think you need to go away for the days he’s on a/l and leave him to it.

Why did you do it though? I can understand if it all went tits up the first day, but then have a conversation and explain (not that you should have to) that for it to be helpful he needs to do the getting them up and ready part for the next too days.

Haha I know right! If only they knew!

So tell him! 'You're on holiday today. Please get up with dd w when she wakes, get her ready for school then take her. I really need a lie-in. There's also a load of washing to go on.' Then leave him to it.

If you have done this and he's still being lazy, then you need to be more serious. Why does he think he needs/deserves more sleep than you do?

I'd have sorted the unequal getting up times long before. How many hundred extra hours of sleep do you think he's had? Where are your life-ins? He sounds spectacularly lazy.

Another lazy DH ! Do you get to have a lie in at the weekends ? If not then make sure that starts from this weekend .

I think of it as public parenting. STBXH won't help in the mornings, except in walking DC to school when he's off. If the boys hair is messy he'll stop them getting ready for school to brush hair, he doesn't care if they have lunch or their readers, but can't have messy hair. If they're behaving a way he doesn't like in public he'll snap at me, 'fix your kids.' He very much makes the atmosphere worse if I push for him to carry even a little of the load. Hopefully OPs partner isn't like this.

If you haven't talk to him OP, make it clear to him that this unfairness can't continue or your marriage will be at risk. The resentment eats away at you. If like my situation you've done this over and over its unlikely anything will ever change if you stay in this relationship.

That's fine if he wants to do that, when do you get annual leave so you can do the same? You're not off, you have a FT job too 🤷

Voted YABU for making a martyr of yourself. There's no need.

2 adults in the house. Just poke him awake at 3am/0630 and remind him he's offered to deal with the kids that day.