Friends are all more successful than me. "Failed teacher"

[Flotraidroberts]

Hello;
I'm 28 and I class myself as a "failed" teacher.
I live in Chester and jobs are far too competitive. I've been trying to get a permanent teaching job for 3 years but can't. I've had long terms during this time but sometimes the school won't do the induction due to being too busy and if I don't get it done by the end of 2023, I become an ECT.

I don't mind supply, like Ive said, I have good feedback from schools, I've had long-term PPA covers but I just can't get the job. A school I was in a few weeks ago said they had over 90 applicants for a job!! And that seems the norm around here.

I'm currently on a long-term now doing PPA and have been in the school nearly half this academic year but the school haven't got the time to do the induction. It's stressing me out.

Anyway, my stress has increased tonight as my friend who finished her PGCE this year has just got a permanent teaching job and I feel happy for her but at the same time useless in myself.
Boyfriend is now questioning me about whether teaching jobs around here are actually hard to get or whether it's just me.

I feel just sad. I'm applying for a job tonight but I feel like motivation is going. I have had interviews and sometimes get to the final 2/3 but I just never get the job.

All my other friends have great careers and some are established teachers; It's got to the point where I am avoiding meeting up to save the questioning about how supply is going.
I can't move as I have a mortgage here in Chester;
I'm feeling absolutely lost at the moment. Surely at 28 I should be more established now?

Most people base friendships on whether they enjoy someone's company rather than their CV I'd have thought.

Are you getting interviews OP? Could it be your letter of application?

Think about starting a tutorial business. I used to do this and it was easy money. You just need to advertise workshops and classes to the home education, SATS/prep exam/ 11+ market, and remedial catch up. Lots of kids have fallen behind with the lockdown and parents are willing to pay for lessons. If you are confident, you could run lessons online on youtube etc. I have a home educated child and I would pay you for classes if we lived near you.

I'm Shropshire, so similar sort of demographic. Definitely harder to get primary jobs here, secondary are constantly recruiting but they get jobs in primaries and stay forever!

Tutoring certainly worth thinking about. If you are currently working in the state system you may not be aware of those using independent schools who might want tutors for 11+ or CE. Doesn't solve the problem of finishing your NQT though. Good luck, I hope you find something soon. Don't lose your confidence, sometimes you need to be your own advocate.

Can you tutor kids to pass the King's or Queen's school entrance exams?

What about looking at primary schools in Wrexham or into Cheshire a bit or even towards Wirral?

But how do you get over jealousy?
I feel like such a hypocrite when I teach the children about kindness, resilience, to keep going etc. when I don't feel resilient myself.
I just feel sick at the thought that everyone around me seems to be happy and getting the career they want and it seems so easy for them, whereas I feel stuck.

I love teaching and I give my all to it even on day-to-day supply but I am starting to get really down. I lay in bed the other night crying and my brain just kept thinking about how much of a failure I am, how no school wants me, and I genuinely felt like giving up. I was close to booking a GP appointment for antidepressants; I still feel extremely down.

My masters finishes in August so the stress of dissertation is also not helping when it comes to applying for jobs. So much to do and so much on my brain; I'm quite overwhelmed

And the other stress is I've done my masters in speech impairments and now I look back and think whether it was a waste of time and maybe I should have done psychology- I'm just having a down moment - sorry for the rant :(

Move to the South. We have so many jobs and no teachers. We have two teaching posts and no applicants!

Could you look at teaching in SEND specialist schools?

Work on your self-esteem, op and intrinsic sense of sekf-worth. I can empathise with you wanting a permanent job but your friend is a dick to say you are basically unemployed. A big life lesson is that comparison is the thief of joy. When I feel like a failure at times , I try to alter my mindset a bit by writing down things I am grateful for. It could be as simple as this:

1. I am grateful I have a job I enjoy.
2. i have a house.
3. i am completing my Master’s

etc… . Reframe it as you are giving yourself time to get experience of different schools so you find one you really love. 28 is so young relatively speaking. If you teach until you are 60 say, you have 42 years to find a permanent job 😳you could say if nothing has come up in six months to a year, then you may need to change areas.

Friends and bf should make you feel better about yourself, not worse. Best of luck. 💐

Sorry, 32 years. Maths at 5am is obviously not my strong point!! 😆😋

If you are open to it , maybe teach abroad for a bit ? Some international schools accept nqts

You're getting amazing feedback so it is clearly not you, just luck! I know it is hard but keep applying and you'll get a job. Your friends and boyfriend should be supporting you.

Gosh, come to Queensland Australia. We cannot get teachers for love or money! It’s less stressful too!

On a serious note, you’re not a failure by any stretch of the imagination. You’re in a competitive area, and luck hasn’t been on your side. If you’re happy doing supply work, then just embrace it. It is a job! Tell your fiends that you enjoy supply work as you get a wider variety of experience and it allows you to work out what schools you’d like to work for and which ones you want to avoid.

I also agree with the tremendous idea of tutoring, there’s definitely a market for it.

I'm in a different area and found recruitment to be similar. 50, 100, 150 people applying for each job. If you only have 1 term of nqt left can you do a maternity cover for it somewhere, even if it's quite far away, and then apply for jobs closer to home?

As someone said u could teach abroad for a year. It would be a great experience and you would be qualified. I live in Poland. They have a British school. I know people who work there and it sounds great. You get a British wage in Poland (obvs cost of living here is cheaper) you get polish and British holidays (so more days off) and the kids are generally well behaved.

Moving and relocating is 100 percent not an option; it's not affordable for me

Nearly every teacher I know has had to move to get their first job, some moving a few times as they move up the ranks so to speak.

Right you have GOT to stop saying and even thinking you are a failed teacher. People take you at the value you give yourself. You are a qualified teacher who loves their job and you are clearly good at it and presumably earning decent money. You can tell your boyfriend that you are changing your mindset from today and if he needles you again about jobs give him both barrels. Stand in front of the mirror and look at your posture - stand up like a queen, put your shoulders back and say 'I love what I do and I'm good at it'.

Then talk to some people who can help you get your NQT sorted. Maybe email some heads you've worked for? Ask for their advice. You can get this done, it's just a process of recognising what you can do already. What about contacting schools with a specialist speech and language unit, they may be interested in your specialist knowledge?

If you want to do another Masters then sure you can do that, but get this barrier hurdled first.

Push your school to do your induction- explain to them the time constraints and leave if they won't- they can't have the advantage of a good cheap teacher full time and not do their bit for you. Then focus on getting the masters, then apply for jobs (it will look like you chose to do supply while studying, so no queries about why you haven't had a permanent position yet).

Because that is of course the only way a young woman could get a job…she couldn’t possibly have the teaching skills the school was looking for 🙄

How far are you willing to commute?

Look rurally- up to Northwich / Warrington / crewe- the schools just can't get the teachers there

People mean well, but setting up a business as a private tutor is really not simple. Many parents who can afford it will want to see someone who has a long history of successfully teaching, and a lot of parents can’t afford it. At the moment, it’ll be one of the first things to go.

This has been an issue since I started teaching: there are always a few people who don’t get jobs, either too fussy or just genuinely unlucky, and end up on the supply circuit.

I don’t think you’re a failed teacher but I do think you could do with considering something to break the chain as it were. And this might involve living elsewhere in the week and coming home weekends.

Teaching job interviews are horrendous and really old fashioned in style. They expect the world for a job that pays, what around 26k?! You aren't failing as you are getting into schools, I think schools sadly miss out on a more varied teaching staff because they only want those who really come across as super confident at interview. Keep going as you are and gaining more experience and you will find your place. Maybe ditch the partner though as he doesn't sound supportive at all.

Read some Brené Brown - maybe ‘The Atlas of the Heart’ would be good as there are good sections on jealousy and envy. Sounds like you’re more worried about what others think than how you actually feel about it yourself.

Loads of great advice above for getting NQT finished. Supply can be really stressful and many established teachers wouldn’t want to do it, so it’s great that you can manage it so well. Tutoring is a good option. Do you really, really want a school based teaching job?

You have most certainly not failed.

You have your own home at 28 which is incredible (I am older and single in the south and a long way off homeownership as are friends of mine.

And I agree re tutoring. I did this up
until covid hit and really enjoyed most aspects. I had some great kids (mainly bright boys who simply found English dull), and would highly recommend doing this as you can hybrid it out- some hours f-2-f and the others, wfh.