I sadly don’t get on with my sister, she displays a lot of narcissistic behaviours; ie she must always be the centre of attention, shows off, calls me boring for not drinking, etc. I raise it calmly with her, she gaslights and says I am just looking for trouble / being sensitive to the point where I almost believe it. I take a step back from her quietly and without fuss but she runs to family members deeply upset, accuses me of destroying the sister relationship and blocks me. Cycle repeats. My mum stays in the middle but often enables it and makes excuses for the way she is.
She cannot stand my partner and will ignore him and look him up and down, speak really passive aggressively more often than not when nobody else can hear, which makes him (and me) uncomfortable. He has given her no reason to do this and has always asked about her day, taken an interest in her etc. He deals with it simply and says he does not understand and wishes she was nice for my sake more than anything else.
However, it’s really bothering me, to the point where it’s keeping me up at night. She excludes him in conversation, never asks how he is- basically pretends like he’s not there. I am very happy and secure in the relationship, we’ve been together a few years and have our own home together. He is kind, loyal and hardworking, and gets on fine with other family members and particularly well my dad.
The length of our relationship coincides with me seeing my sister’s behaviours (which in truth have been ongoing for years on and off) and deciding not to accept them anymore, so I can only think she openly and outwardly blames him for it and this is the reason for her behaviour. She has a lovely partner of her own, so I doubt it’s any form of wishing what I had. More I think she maybe feels threatened by me being equal in life stage?
It’s reached the point where I’m not happy to speak to her in person because I never come away feeling great- she ‘refuses’ to have a text relationship with me and demands we communicate via voice note or phone.
AIBU to take a step back from her because of how rubbish her behaviour towards my partner makes me feel? I know not every personality in the world gets on, but people can be adults and be amicable to one another.