My first kids party!

[CookieMonsterMummy]

Okay I’m holding my first ever kids party. Primary school age. It’s an activity type party so have to pre-pay entrance and food. I sent out the invite weeks ago and had a RSVP deadline. Only half have confirmed if the attending or not.

I’m getting anxious as what will happen if they don’t RSVP but just turn up when I’ve finalised the list for the place? I’m paying per adult and per child with entrance, activity cost plus food too so not exactly cheap. Why are people do bloody rude? It would take 10 seconds to say “yes” or “no”

Should I message with something along the lines of I haven’t heard back so have finalised the list and they can’t just turn up - how can I make it sound a bit more courteous rather than rude and moany?

YANBU OP. Even if it wasn't an expensive party you need to know for food and party bags, plus the kids who show up with siblings. Sadly I have experience that with summer born kids, the parents wait until the day to see what the weather is like. If it rains you'll get loads of last minute rsvps. It is so rude!

Thh hi a k you @bbqhulahoop yes exactly I need to know the numbers for the cake and the party bags. I don’t wa t to order a huge cake and half turn up

Even if you send that message you'll still have CFs who miss deadline and show up/ feign an excuse of having been I'll etc and still rock up. The only advice I can give is that you do a cheap church hall party next year, cater a bag of crisps and a drink for every invitee and a slice of cake to take home. Less high stakes tyen and the kids don't care how much you spend x

Don't worry too much about cake- that will always get eaten or donated but I do get your frustration wholeheartedly

I sent the invite via WhatsApp so I can see they have read the message but haven’t bothered replying.

This happens all the time OP! So infuriating, it would take people 2 mins to reply.

How did you send the invitations? Was it text or DC giving them out?
If you have numbers for parents who haven't replied could you send a text just saying you need to finalise numbers by tomorrow so if you don't hear you'll assume they're not coming? Although even at that someone will reply about 3 days later saying Ooh sorry hope I'm not too late

It’s incredibly rude and so frustrating.

It is absolutely not the point but if anyone did show up unexpectedly, would the venue let you pay at that point? (Assuming it’s in budget to do so as they’re already on the invite list?)

I would message and say "Hi, hope you are ok. I am just finalising names and numbers of who is coming to the party. I need to send the names in by tomorrow so if kid would like to come, I shall pop his/her name down on the list. No problem at all if you can't make it".

Thank you all for understanding. My DH has been minimising my anxiety by saying “so what, people have more in their lives thank kids parties”. I sent the invites via WhatsApp @HarvestFly

So sorry for the typos!

Way to miss the point DH! I reckon that's him volunteering to organise next year then! And that party will def be my church hall cheapie with crisps and a fruit shoot 😂🙈🙈

OP just message the people who haven’t replied and say “Haven’t heard back from you re X’s party, have to finalise numbers so need to know today if Y can come or not. Thanks “

No messing about.

Very unhelpful of your DH! Especially when you are just trying to organise something nice for your child.

and yes people have other things going on - but all you’re asking for is a short text sting yay or nay. It’s basic courtesy.

I would say a few people will have genuinely forgotten and will respond, with apologies, to the chaser. It’s shit, but hopefully you can be more confident of numbers after your next message.

Send a WhatsApp chaser:
just wondering if you had seen the invite for so-and-so party ( instert details here) have not heard back from you, the party place needs me to confirm numbers by tomorrow and We would love for (kid name) to join if they are free, so let me know….

Do you see the parents of the kids you invited on the school run/gates OP? If it was me and they hadn't replied, I would just ask face to face in the morning

I know what you mean though. I organised a party for my DS 6 in primary 1 a few months ago, it can get a bit stressful, but it all worked out fine. A couple couldn't make it, no biggie. But if you're worried, try and catch the people who haven't replied tomorrow, or whoever drops your DC off

I would send chasers as other have said and make sure at the end it says places will be booked and paid for in advance and last minute additions can not be accommodated so if you do not hear by whenever then you will assume they are not attending.

I've just done my daughter's party, 6 out of the 30 turned up on the day. I was annoyed as they really were oblivious. Also three phoned the morning of the party to say they were going.

I was gonna say the same as this. Final reminder if I dont hear back yes by end of day I assume its a no. Thanks.

I would list the people that haven't replied as well

Not helpful when you're organising a party 😡! Of course there are more important things, but parties are important to kids and they have to be organised or they don't happen. Definitely put him in charge next year and get your DC to pile the pressure on by telling him exactly what sort of party they want.

I always plan parties based on a 75% attendance rate...you'll get some who RSVP really early on that they can't come, some who drop out a few days before and some who just don't turn up on the day. Unfortunately, you'll also get some who turn up on the day without RSVP'ing. Not helpful when you need exact numbers, of course.

I posted the list of who I was expecting and asked any additions as need to finalise numbers, this seemed to work well. A couple of siblings did appear but this evened out with the last minute cancellations so all good.