AIBU to be sad that I can't share meal times with dh

[OhThePossibilities]

DH has recently put himself on a very limited eating regime to help himself feel better with various ailments. This is totally self diagnosed, he's not been checked for food intolerances or allergies.

So he's gone from eating most things to a very restricted diet following the Dr Grundry approach. No gluten, dairy, lectins, etc. Although he is eating lactose free cheese every so often.

I can't cook anything for us both like I used to. All he's eating for dinner every night, is chicken, sweet potato, cauliflower and brocoli. So there are three separate meals going on, one for the dc, one for me and one for DH in that order. So we don't sit together at meal times anymore.

I understand that he wants to feel better but it's changed meal times completely. We're going out for dinner on Saturday, a very rare date night, and he's being really restrictive about where we can go.

I know lots of people will probably say, let him do his own thing but AIBU to be a bit sad that we can't share meal times?

You or dc cannot eat a combination of those foods perhaps with alternative protein like fish or cheese and carb? Maybe not every day though. Do extra veg and serve it for lo's lunch?

Can't he batch cook his and microwave it as you cook yours? You could add some rice and have chicken and broccoli? Or noodles and stirfry yours?

@SpaceFarce not at all, there are some really useful suggestions. What does annoy me, is that DH is doing all this self diagnosed. I see it as a fad diet which is a bit extreme, especially as he's doing it with intermittent fasting too.

Why don't you and children eat the same meal so you only cook once?

So, you’re not annoyed you can’t share a meal (which would be fairly easy to do), but that he’s on a self diagnosed fad diet? That’s completely understandable, but a different issue.

Cook for yourself and the DC and let DH crack on for now.

The bigger issue for me would be ailments sufficiently serious to put himself on a drastic elimination diet with no investigation or diagnosis. How long has he been feeling ill and how long on this diet? If more than a few weeks of consistent illness with no specific cause or improvement he should be checking in with a doctor.

What stops him getting properly qualified professional advice from a doctor and (if applicable) a clinical dietician?

I'd eat the same as my dh, it's not forever and you can still eat out sometimes and have what you want for lunch

"Poo-Poo"

How old are you? If you're actually a grown woman then we've got no hope.

I don't mind some things but I think if I ate the same as DH, I'd probably lose weight. I'm 5,5 and 8st so don't want to be any smaller, and I like carbs and dairy too much 😂

I think it is you who doesn’t understand the term. It is a fallacy. Dismissing an argument without engaging with it. No association with toilet humour.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pooh-pooh

*SpaceFarce
I feel like you’re just so annoyed by this that you’ll find a reason to poo-poo any suggestion made here.

"Poo-Poo"

How old are you? If you're actually a grown woman then we've got no hope.*

To pooh pooh something is quite a common turn of phrase, or so I thought?

You could eat basically the same but add carbs so you don't lose weight, so serve yourself a combination of dc meal and his.

I doubt he'll stick to that for long OP unless he sees fantastic benefits of course. He should really see a dietician if he plans to be very restrictive long term.

Eat the same as him and add carbs and dairy if you're bothered. This doesn't need to be a big deal!!

You've got 2 other meals to eat carbs and dairy, it's great he's trying to sort his health out

But you and the children could have had salmon, mash, cheese sauce and veggies, and your DH could have had salmon and veggies. No need whatsoever for more than one meal to be cooked.

Given the huge and flexible list of what your DH is allowed, it would be really easy to find something that the whole family can eat every night, even if your DH doesn't have the carb bit of the meal. Basically he has meat or fish plus a range of vegetables, you and the children have meat or fish plus the same vegetables and add carbs/sauce/extra sides as wanted.

@LikeAStar1994 I am indeed a grown woman. One who understands idioms. Hope that helps!

Poo-poo = excrement. Pooh-pooh = 'to express disdain or scorn, to belittle' (Collins dictionary)

HTH

Don't be obtuse; the person replying to me was clearly unaware of the phrase rather than criticising my spelling (which, according to both Merriam Webster and Collins dictionaries can be spelled both ways). I’m not a native English speaker, so my sincere apologies over the Americanism but feel free to miss the point spectacularly anyway.

@Pluvia

I have literally never heard that term in my life.

I apologise @SpaceFarce

Thanks @LikeAStar1994 ♥️

It's a very common phrase

Yes, your DH's diet sounds restrictive, and suspiciously close to 'clean eating' and orthorexia. But is it making him feel better? If it it, maybe it is not a bad thing.

I would focus on making sure he has a variety of foods and sharing meals with him. It looks like it is very easy to follow this plan without eating the same thing everynight.

For example, with the salmon, he could have had salmon and appropriate veg, which you could have had along with noodles and soy sauce. Make a coconut milk based curry - you can have rice and he can have extra veg. Chicken breast burgers (he can skip the bread) with slaw (dressingless for him, cheesey/mayonnaise-y for you). Even if you do this twice a week or so, and he has a separate meal the other days you will still get your chance to eat together and it gives you a chance to stop him being overly restrictive.

Is it just me, or chicken, sweet potato and vegetables sounds like delicious meal? You can swap yours for other meat or swap sweet potato for rice etc. so you can share mealtime.