So very depressed

[Defeatedbylife]

Day by day the things which once made me happy have got less and less.i have no quality of life,my son is severely disabled and i cant go anywhere or do anything anymore which would qualify as fun or social.i cant get myself out of bed when hes at school or respite.im not looking for any advice regarding my son,as we've accepted as a family theres not very much we can do other than to live around his needs as our house is very much dominated by him.im really looking to hear if anyone has been so extremely depressed but managed to get out the other side?i cant bring myself to leave the house,i hate who ive become and the fact that im depressed, wish i was stronger.

That sounds very very hard and I think anyone would struggle. Do you have any support from local caters groups or similar?

Theres not alot of support,he has all there is on offer in terms of respite. Due to continuing staff shortages since covid, weve barely had use of it.

Are you taking anything for your depression? Ime it's really hard to stop being depressed without medication (there arevother things - exercise, talking therapy etc that you can do when the meds kick in).

Oh and YANBU by the way.

@Defeatedbylife Just because you are depressed doesn't mean you aren't strong! It sounds like you've been through a lot an holding it together as best as you can. All you can do is your best. I know times are tough but trying to appreciate the little things helps me and starting small helps like short walks or a cheap face mask from superdrug. A favourite film or a good book. If you haven't already read Two pence to cross the mersey, really inspirational and helps me appreciate life. Liverpool Miss is the 2nd book. I hope you start to feel better soon OP.

Sorry to hear you are so very low. Just wanted to answer your question “has anyone been extremely depressed but got out the other side?” Yes I have. I found it very difficult to even go to the doctor to get help. I was prescribed anti depressants which take about 6 weeks to kick in, and beta blockers for an instant help against severe anxiety attacks. I think it’s very hard to understand depression unless you’ve “been there” and yes there are things you can do to try to help yourself feel better (good nutrition, exercise, mindfulness etc) but in my experience I needed the medication. You are in a really tough situation and it’s not a matter of being strong. Your post gives all the signs of clinical depression, please contact your doctor. Anti depressants won’t improve everything in your life but they will lift you so that you can cope, get out of bed in the morning and regain an interest in life. Wishing you all the best… I do know just how hard it is.

Can you get a phone appointment with your GP? It sounds to me like you would benefit from antidepressants.

Yanbu. How old is DS? Mine is now 18, but when he was younger I too could see no reason to get out of bed if he didn't absolutely need me. That said, still talk to your GO. My son's developmental pediatrician told me at least 80% of parents she saw were seriously depressed.

It does get better, though... with periodic slumps when they have to change school etc

Thank you for replying. Im on sertraline 200mg and propranolol three times a day,been on and off them for three years.been on tgrm two months this time round,they don't seem to be working.

I saw your post and I wanted to say I am very sorry. You can get better and overcome depression. This is possible. Therapy would help. Friends would help. Please get some advice from your GP and try to do something for yourself each day. Even if this is a small thing. Taking good vitamins and HRT might help too. I am sending you and your family positive thoughts 🙏🏼

I have experience OP and have come out the other side. What support/treatment do you have for your depression? So sorry you are having suchba hard time.

Definitely ask your doctor to review your medication. Has Sertraline worked for you in the past?

The antidepressants are the only support,life with my child means we are all living with fraught nerves. Its uncomfortable for friends after the first couple of understanding chats.it seems that im just here on this earth to serve my son and that's it,nothing else is possible no matter what.theres very little hope in my life.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’ve been depressed and recovered but in very different circumstances.

I wonder if some peer support to talk to might stop least help you not feel so alone. It won’t be a cure but it might help a little.

It must be awful for you OP. You should definitely go back to your GP to start ball rolling. Ask for a referral to psychology/ counselling. Get your meds reviewed. Once you have some hope back (which will be very hard just now perhaps as you're so depressed) , you could explore ways to make things better. I'm sure you've gone down lots of routes but could you use disability benefits to pay for some carers to give you regular breaks during the week?

That sounds so hard. Are you in any online support groups for parents in the same situation? It’s not much, but might help to talk to people who understand.

Ive found online support groups depress me further when i talk of my son and other people are crying about the same difficulties!its like sharing misery,although i get talking helps,sometimes theres not much to say about a situation which is unlikely to improve. See how pessimistic i am!

I’m no expert, in fact it may be somewhat hypocritical for me to respond as I’m really not in the best place mentally right now myself, but I wanted to say that I agree with the other people saying you should check in with your gp and maybe get your medication revised. I’ve been on various antidepressants/anti-anxiety medications for the past 10 years - most recently 100mg Sertraline. I found that being on that particular dosage left me feeling awful - somewhere between ridiculously depressed and completely unfeeling, like I just couldn’t understand the point in anything. I’m not saying your medication is the deciding factor in your mood, but I would definitely look into it. I also agree that talking to someone may help - perhaps not in a group setting or with people of similar circumstance - you may do better with some one on one time with a therapist. It can be an expensive business depending what route you go down, but I paid for a couple of months with BetterHelp last year and found it helpful.