Had a work colleague 12 years ago - we got on great at the time, but only worked together for a year. We tried to maintain a friendship after I left. Managed it for a few years - met up once or twice, had a few phone calls.
But for the past 5 years or so I feel like we've grown apart. She has on occasions used me as a therapist, dumping a load of negativity on me in a phone call that affected my mood for about a week, so I said no to any more phone calls. She understood at the time and hasn't done it again, but things just feel different...
She's become very inward looking and focused on self analysing, her personal journey etc. I am the complete opposite. Both are totally fine ways to be, but I'm not sure the two are compatible.
She's perfectly nice as a person (which is why this makes me feel awful) - but she's also WAY more into the friendship than I am... goes on about how 'close' we are 'after all these years' when honestly I feel like we are barely friends - I've been trying to gently withdraw, never initiate the conversation, or meetups, take a while to reply, but she's just not getting the hint.
How do you break up with a friend? Have you ever done it? Do you need to? Ghosting is awful but as long as I keep reply she keeps messaging.
She's a good person, and she hasn't really done anything wrong - but for some unknown reason whatsapps from her make me feel stressed, and I feel like I'm being pressured into maintaining this friendship when I don't want it.
(She has also fallen out with a lot her previous circle of friends, which makes me feel a lot of pressure to stay in touch).