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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to begrudgingly make the window cleaner tea?

54 replies

axolotlfloof · 28/06/2022 14:42

I am working from home and busy.
I knew the window cleaner was coming and I have texted back to confirm access.
Same company, different window cleaner.
He knocks and says "Can you put the kettle on? Builders, milk no sugar."
The people pleaser me says "Of course" but I am a bit miffed.
I don't think he would have said the same to a man, perhaps "Any chance I can get a cuppa mate?"
Anyway I have made him a cup of tea, but am now miffed
So AIBU that he treated me like his work experience skivvy?
I don't begrudge him the tea, but the expectation (I think based on the fact I am female) and disruption.
Anyway back to work.

OP posts:
AdobeWanKenobi · 28/06/2022 14:44

You should have replied “I’m also working and busy’.
you need to be more assertive.

ofwarren · 28/06/2022 14:45

I wouldn't have made it. He's a cheeky sod.

Wouldloveanother · 28/06/2022 14:45

YANBU cheeky sexist pig

whatwotnot · 28/06/2022 14:46

I think it's a cheeky ask, agree about the female thing and think he should have waited to be offered. Or not as the case may be.

Winterfellismyhome · 28/06/2022 14:46

So cheeky. Is he even there long enough to warrant a cup of tea?

20viona · 28/06/2022 14:48

I would never have made him a tea!

Comefromaway · 28/06/2022 14:48

How cheeky.

Dh did have similar though from workmen when he was working from home. However he was live teaching and unable to leave his camera.

PineForestsAndSunshine · 28/06/2022 14:48

Wow, he has some cheek!

I wouldn't mind being asked, but not like that!

ChagSameachDoreen · 28/06/2022 14:49

Buy a self help book about assertiveness ASAP!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 28/06/2022 14:49

It really wouldn't have been difficult to say no.

the80sweregreat · 28/06/2022 14:50

He had some front !
I've had this from someone doing our garden once and it is cheeky really, they were only there 40 mins , it's different if they are in your home for a long time , then I tend to leave things out for them to make their own.
A window cleaner isn't there that long so I never offer them anything. My old window cleaner never asked at all , but then I knew the lady next door would have already made him a drink as she knew him as a friend.
They should bring their own drinks really.

JuneJubilee · 28/06/2022 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Troll hunting.

axolotlfloof · 28/06/2022 14:51

AdobeWanKenobi · 28/06/2022 14:44

You should have replied “I’m also working and busy’.
you need to be more assertive.

I think you absolutely right and it is myself for being a man pleaser I am cross with.

OP posts:
HELLITHURT · 28/06/2022 14:51

I always offer tea to everyone (its the irish part of me!), but if he had said that before I had offered, I would've said no! Cheeky git!

If he had said, "I know I am a CF, but I have not had a cup of tea all day, are you making yourself one by any chance" I would gladly have obliged.

HangOnToYourself · 28/06/2022 14:52

Christ it would never occur to.me to make my window cleaner a brew, he is only here 10-15 minutes or so. Cheeky git.

ifonly4 · 28/06/2022 14:52

If he asked for some water, that'd be fair enough but a bit cheeky for ask for a cup of tea especially the way he assumed you were just going to say yes and make it the way he wanted.

I think I'd have told him I was working. I happily make drinks for people working on our house, but it's usually when I'm making one for myself, so at my convenience.

axolotlfloof · 28/06/2022 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Troll hunting.

Unfortunately not. The people saying I should have said "sorry I can't" (if I didn't want to) are right though.
To be honest what I like about the window cleaners is they get on with it whether I am there or not, and don't need any help with access.

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 28/06/2022 14:56

Here is a challenge for you, to accept or ignore just as you like.

Next time someone asks you to do something, say "I would have loved to but, sorry, no can do"

Then observe very, very closely what happens. The sun will continue to rise and set. Nothing will actually change.

Some people may not react well, just be very clear that that is more about the sort of person they are. It will have nothing to do with what you have done or not done.

It's really useful to know how people react. Really good, decent people will accept it with no problem.

Like anything else, the more you do it, say no, the easier it gets.

I'd love to know how you get on.

P.s. there are exceptions, tax inspectors and customs / immigration officials are not good places to try out your skills. Start with the trivial like window cleaners and move up from there. Good luck.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 28/06/2022 14:57

What’s the magic word?

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 28/06/2022 15:00

I had something similar recently with a gardener, knocked and asked for two coffee. Just for once I reacted quickly and said, I’m sorry , we don’t drink tea or coffee.

they have a van, they can carry a flask.

Whereland · 28/06/2022 15:05

How about this, I had a window cleaner in and given that I was heavily pregnant and finished work I happily offered him a cup of tea and we sat and chatted for 30 mins. He then charged me for the time he had been sitting drinking tea!!

DockOTheBay · 28/06/2022 15:07

😯 @Whereland did you pay him!?

the80sweregreat · 28/06/2022 15:08

Where land, that's awful !
Did you pay it ? Get a different window cleaner?

Whereland · 28/06/2022 15:09

I paid him because I didn't realise until after! He'd been to my next door neighbour and charged her for two hours. He came to me, washed the windows for 2 hours then sat for tea for 30 mins. And charged me for 2.5 hours!! imagine charging me for the pleasure of his company 😂

Floella22 · 28/06/2022 15:09

He’s cheeky.
No window cleaner has ever asked for or been given a drink in our house.
On a hot day I may offer water on a cold day I’d assume they’d bring a flask.

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