To want the HMRC child maintenance calculator to apply to the whole salary?

[Bobsmyaunty]

From my understanding, the calculator only applies itself to the first £130k of earnings, and anything above is not included.

I am in the process of divorce and agreeing future child maintenance and spousal maintenance. I'm working (part time) so the spousal maintenance isn't particularly high and am tasked with working towards becoming self-sufficient over time, which is fine, I would like to be anyway. I was high earner before having kids and whilst (10 years later) I am now starting at the (very bloody) bottom and am a very low earner, I can take that knock in the teeth because I am confident I can turn this around.

HOWEVER, on principle, it seems bonkers that Ex-DH only pays child-maintenance on the first bit of his salary. And, I am posing this question universally. Who came up with this incredibly biased system? You could have people earning £500k (which is NOT my Ex-DH btw), and rolling it in, only sharing a small proportion to the main carer.

Whilst we are not destitute, I have to watch the bottom line very carefully, whilst Ex-DH does big ticket items like Harry Potter world or Legoland etc. I'm not sure even sure it's great for the kids to have a discrepancy like this - it will definitely put them off taking time out of their careers (and maybe that's a big fat plus to this situation!)

My question is: AIBU to ask for the HMRC child maintenance calculator to be applied to his whole salary?

My ex earns over that and I think the assumption is that you negotiate with lawyer and/ or go to court. We did both and I got more. Judge ignored CMS in our circumstances but was still fair

I think OP what the real issue is here is that you need higher spousal maintenance for a few years , not higher child maintanance (which is meant to be for the child's needs) that's presuming he is due to pay around £1700 a month based on £130k. If it's far less because he is declaring income as far less then that needs to be gone into to. The other adjective is what assets if any are you getting, house equity, pension shares etc? Because this may well be a fair bit of money too- and it does sound like he was the main earner for quite a long time. With regards to him having more money to do the nice add ons- you need to explain to your children that he has more spare money than you do- because you took time out to look after them- once they are old enough they will understand. Life's not always fair I'm afraid - it doesn't always work out at 50/50 on income- although it usually does on assets.

I agree - all children have a minimum level of basic needs, regardless of the NRP's income. And this should be met by the NRP or paid by the government and taken off the NRP's state pension.

But while the system totally ignores the needs of children at the lower end, I don't see why it should suddenly focus on them to allow the NRP to reduce their payments at the higher end. It's a fairly small percentage of income, after all, and even if a 'windfall' to the RP is hardly going to leave the NRP penniless.

I completely agree.

My ex-h refuses to work or claim benefits (lives off an allowance from his family) so according to the CMS he doesn’t have to pay maintenance as he has no official income.

Because obviously he is living on fresh air so the kids have to also. 🤷🏽‍♀️

It’s a very unfair system to be honest.

I also think payments should take into account a childs costs prior to the split. For example if you have 2 kids under 3 in nursery, that can be £2k a month to £4k a month in London. If the kids are in private school that's a considerable expense. It seems harsh to have to dramatically change the kids lifestyle or the residents parents chances of working a job with normal hours, because the money resident parent can pay and has been paying but suddenly goes down to the legal minimum because they can

On higher incomes spousal maintenance is usually payable, that's not part of the calculator

Let's be fair there's a lot of shit men who don't pay for their kids and there's a lot of gold digging mums too.

I think CMS should not be giving any mother obscene high figures like you have quoted for the mum to spend, a percent yes but not the figures you have quoted. It should go into a trust fund unless you have private school fees to pay for. What exactly are you doing with £1700 a month???

I wonder what does £1700 a month goes on? I literally can't think how I would spend that much. (School fees don't count.)

If you live in the south east and you inherited a large mortgage in your divorce-then you are probably spending a fair bit of that on the mortgage, bills and food for the two children-and if you didn't work because that was the agreement you made with with your then husband because he was the higher earner and you stayed home with the kids, then your 1700 is all that you have coming in. Yep you need to sell your house, but given that you've just got divorced or are in the process of it, and you are probably trying to keep things stable for you and your kids, plus you might struggle to get a mortgage on your own, that might not be the best option the rental market being as it is. Rent for a three bed house around where I live for example is about 1300-1400 a month.

I get that it's complaining from a position of Privilege and lots of people are far worse off, but the change in lifestyle doesn't just happen overnight-and the kids shouldn't suffer because their Dad no longer wants to part with his cash for them IMO.

Deary me… it sounds like you have enough to raise your kids but want to be able to do what dad does. He probably works hard enough for the wage.
if you are genuinely struggling, apply for universal credit as they have can calculate how much you have and make up the difference to the calculated amount needed to raise a child.
while dad has the kids, let dad do his thing and take them where he wishes. You do the same in your care but please don’t use your kids as an income and to keep a hold on dad becsuse kids aren’t daft and they’ll realise soon enough

Unfortunately though. Each parent now has their household to run individually and its shit for the kids but OP cannot expect things to remain the same surely. If you agree to be a SAHM... well that was the risk you choose to take!

spousal payments ??? don't just don't 🤦‍♀️

The resident parent will have been paying for a single household, with a PT parent as childcare.
Now they’ll be paying for two, with added childcare on top.

CMS should be more but the kids aren’t entitled to the same lifestyle.

Btw OP DOES get spousal maintainence. Not sure why nobody else has noticed but she says so in the OP

I get spousal maintenance and kids also get all school.fees paid by their father and got 50% of assets. We did detailed budgets, Form Es and went before a judge. I did prove that I had already cut expenditure massively. Had moved to smaller home and finished a post grad and got a job. All of which was taken into consideration. It was not an affordability case. It was kids needs and our needs based.