To ask what chores you expect your primary aged DC to do?

[TheNightKing]

We have three children aged 9, 6 and almost 4 yrs old. We expect very little of them, mainly just putting bags & shoes in a set place & tidying up after themselves (although we generally have to nag for this to happen). Wondering what others expect of their DC of similar ages as sometimes it feels like we don’t have enough time to do everything and just wonder if that’s because we don’t get them to do enough or if this is just adult life.

Like others, the 10yo is expected to put away her washing, bring the basket down when it needs washing, keep her room reasonable, help with hoovering and bed changing, and do her school bag.

We don’t have other set chores for her but she is expected to help out with any household task we ask for her help with, without complaining and making sure she does it properly. With clubs and childcare we struggle to fit fixed chores in sometimes so instead we expect her to understand that lots needs doing by a family to keep a house tidy and running, and she has to help out too.

DS2 is 7, no chores. I don't consider putting own toys away and dirty clothes into the laundry to be chores, that's just normal life, surely? Ditto putting shoes away.
He will help with laying the table sometimes, but not because he has to.

Put dishes in dishwasher
Help unpack dishwasher
Clear table
Feed the dog
Bring basket of laundry to laundry room

We have a helper who encourages them to help her with things like cleaning windows/vacuuming etc.

11yo is expected to:
Tidy after herself when she gets in: put her shoes and jacket (properly) on the hanger / rack next to the door, bag on her room (not just lying next to the door)
keep her room semi tidy: do her bed (pull duvet up), clothes in the basket and put clean clothes away
after eating, put her food scraps in the compost bin and bring at least her plate/cutlery to the sink - but also help with the rest of the table
weekends she’s in charge of hoovering and light dusting the living room, take the recycling out and light help in the garden
she also helps unpack the groceries and is in charge of her school snack

DD age 10:

• pick up her stuff


• carry her dishes to the kitchen


• take care of her sports gear (washing, etc.)


• put away non-school/non-PJ clothes (she can wear 2-3 outfits a day! I told her around 5 I wasn't putting them away for her...)


• clean the vacuuming robots


• shares unloading dishwasher with DH

And we used to do make a family meal once a week, but for fairness I felt that DH also should, and he's not been, so I feel like I can't make DD either. Although there are now times when I just leave them both to it, and they each get their own food. So I suppose that's okay.

Also, all her clothes are currently sitting in a laundry basket that she just digs through... And it's a constant nagging to get her to pick up stuff.

This has been the list for some years, and I feel we need to add more, but I don't know how to plunge in with 'more things' - any advice about how to introduce new chores as children age? You don't want to do it at their birthday (sort of takes the shine out of it...), but then when? Hmm, maybe end of the school year, coming up soon...

Ours were expected to

Be able to dress and undress including shoes, before school age.

Tidy up toys at the end of the day
Set the table.
Clear their own plates from table to kitchen.
By age 9, they sometimes helped wash up and all were learning cookery basics (cakes, spag bol, using a veg peeler, chopping carrots).
Put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket.
Put their coats, shoes .boots , away.
From age 8, take their personal pile of clean folded clothes (by parents) to bedroom and put them in the right drawers.
Flush lavatory after use.
Do small jobs when asked (fetch logs from shed to log box, feed chickens/pets)
Age 9; bath themselves.

I'm reading this with interest as I currently have DD aged 3.5 who still loves to help with anything we're doing, although her help is not always actually helpful.

She always puts her laundry in the dirty washing basket herself, and helps tidy her toys (thank you preschool for the "choose it, use it, put it away" rule).

Other things she's actually helpful with are putting away cutlery from the dishwasher, feeding the cat and pairing up socks from the laundry, but obviously it's all with encouragement and support from us.

@murmuration if you think she’s ready to do more, you don’t have to wait for a specific date. With DD I would just to her ‘I notice you’ve got better at x (coordination, patience, some skill vaguely related to the chore) so I think you’re ready to do y now.’ or simply ‘I think you should be able to do Chore so I expect you to do it once a week from this point’.

DS1 (10)

• put clothes in washing basket


• tidy bedroom


• put away clean washing (his)


• Tidy up after himself (put shoes and school bag away, put away things he’s finished using or playing with)


• tidy the living room in the evening (just put away the toys)


• put out placemats and set the table


• not expected but he’s learning to cook so often makes his own breakfast and lunch

ds2 (4 & is autistic)

• put clothes in washing basket end of day


• tidy up books and toys in room


• put things back after using them


• he likes to help me do washing and dishwasher

DD (2.5)

• put cloths in washing basket end of day


• put toys and books back where she got them from