Wish I didn’t meet him.

[Sunsunsun2]

I’ve found out the man I was seeing is just a serial shagger. His hobby is shagging and I think he wants to basically be seen as a bachelor. A woman a day probably. I’ve also caught him out on so many lies.

The reason I feel sad is because he basically fed me loads of lies and promises before I met him. I wish I stuck to my guns because I actually wasn’t going to meet him at first but I gave in now we are a few months down the line and I’m more invested whilst he is out shagging whoever.

He keeps me as one of his options. Gives loads of excuses as to why he can’t see me or hasn’t spoke to me. When I was last at his I saw vibrator charging in the bedroom, condom packets on the sink. I just feel really dirty and used. It’s really affected my mental health and my wellbeing. Any words of wisdom please as I feel hurt

Block him, get tested, move on. You've done nothing wrong. Just trust your gut next time. You'll feel better about this with time x

He keeps me as one of his options.

You're giving yourself to him as an option. Cut contact with him, that's all you have to do. Move on.

I meant to add, as Yorkshireteabags said, get tested!!!!

What she said! Take back control. Make the decision yourself before he makes it. Make a vow never to speak to him again and then think about boundaries before you see anyone new.

Eurgh he sounds vile. Block the disgusting fucker, you’re nothing more than toy for him to play with a dump when he gets bored. Take some power back and ghost the cunt.

Thank you. I will definitely go and get tested. I feel stupid because I was only seeing him and thinking he was doing the same as this is what he told me but it’s turned all to be all lies.

He definitely sees me as a toy. He just picks me up and drops me again whenever he chooses. I’ve tried to cool it off a few times and he will be all nice to me but as soon as I go and see him he’s back to the way he is. I think he just sees women as sex toys in general.

Don't feel stupid. You're not psychic. You took him at his word. Not your fault his word is worth nothing...

You are talking in the present OP. He should be in your past. Look upon it as a lesson and nothing more. You learned from it and moved on.

It's bloody awful what he's done to you and noone deserves that. You will feel better taking control back.
I've never been in this exact same situation( serial shagger) but I have been lied to, ghosted, rejected. And if it happened now even if it hurt like a bitch I'd take full control back instantly and delete number and block! I'd force myself to do it. Keep your power as a woman who deserves better and take a few days/weeks to get yourself in a better place or however long it takes but you can do it!! 💪💪

Well he love bombed you. I’ve definitely experienced that.

Just take back the power, as soon as he knows he can’t have you when he wants he won’t like it and will try harder - will be a sweet moment to ignore him completely and block.

He just picks me up and drops me again whenever he chooses

Only if you allow it.

Arguably, it's his right to be a 'serial shagger' if he wants - if he's single and upfront about it. But he's lying to you and treating you appallingly.

Don't give him another moment of your life, or an inch of space in your head. Don't get into another relationship until your self-esteem is in a better place than it is now. There's a certain type of man who will take full advantage of it.

Words of wisdom?

Just three sweetie.

Get him gone.

You don't need this man in your life.

When I was last at his I saw vibrator charging in the bedroom, condom packets on the sink. I just feel really dirty and used.

Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him after seeing all that? Please.

Get that STD check expedited.

In the nicest possible way, you are allowing yourself to be used. Unless he has you kept captive and you can't get away.

Block him, learn from this and move on. Anything else is just feeding the drama

Thanks all. I just needed some advice because it really hurts and I feel like nothing more than dirt.

I have text him a few times before to cool things down and he has said things like ‘oh you’re not escaping now, I’m just getting started with you’. Definitely time to block and get some help with my self worth

I feel as though I’ve been trying to please him too much to keep him satisfied as I was scared he would become bored of me. Now I feel ridiculous for doing it

People who lead lives like this are generally best avoided, and not just due to the risks of an STD but because their poor boundaries mess with your head and mess up your life.

Does this man even have time to hold down a job? I had an ex who did similar - lied to me, seemed to be quite well to do, but didn't work and found out that shagging was indeed his beloved hobby. Its very upsetting but the immediate solution to reduce the upset is to remove the idiot from your life and not get sucked into that terrible lifestyle.

My ex married a woman and exactly 6 months to the day was back in touch with me (via a note pushed through my door because I'd blocked him everywhere) trying it on again. Not even marginally tempting - ugh.