Bored witless. Not not-enough-to-fill-my-time bored. But stuck-in-a-rut bored.
I do stuff. I have my own business (which is facing huge problems and has been for years. WFH. Boring and stressful) Walk the dogs for an hour or so at lunch time. (Peaceful and pleasant, but not exactly stimulating). Clean the house, if I can be arsed (utterly never ending). Play board games or ball games with my kiddo Watch a bit of telly with her. (She likes utterly vacuous game shows. My god, they’re dull. And cringy!) Weights if I can muster up the energy. Read (could do with some new authors) Listen to podcasts and the radio (ditto). Yoga before bed. Meet up with friends at each others houses for coffee and have the same conversations about boring jobs, lazy husbands (theirs not mine) how broke we are and what we’d like to do but can’t. Go and fight weeds on the allotment at weekends. Used to be able to take the camper away to free stopovers, but petrol is too expensive now.
Just feel like I’m doing the same stuff. Over and over, for years and years. I’ve got nice friends, but I’ve got nothing to SAY. I haven’t done anything or been anywhere. I’m flat broke and have cut my budget to the bone (really dull, that is. Can’t even try new recipes!). I’ve tons of ideas for things to do with the house and garden, but can’t afford to do any of them, even cheap stuff costs something. My dog is sick and has been for months and we don’t know why. She has to be let out every couple of hours (day and night) or I have to clear up diarrhoea. Boring and stinky! And not enough sleep, so I have to nap too. Yawn! My kid is 12 and in the really tedious ‘huh huh - you said butt!’ phase and having a fair bit of tweenage drama (which is really bloody tedious if it isn’t your drama). Never been one for telly or films. Like crafting, but have used up my supplies and am sick of making things I don’t actually want out of what I have leftover or can scavenge. I’m trying to learn to meditate. I‘m trying to do the ‘right’ things to manage the stress and live healthily.
I’ve been a lone parent for years, and I’ve never been bored. Overwhelmed and knackered, yes, but not bored. I’ve always had millions of ideas, wacky plans and places to go. But everything requires some money. Not a lot, but some. And I’ve literally nothing to spare. And if I’ve got a few quid, it goes on something for kid, or trying to find out what’s wrong with the poor dog.
I just feel like I’ve been dealing with SAME never ending tedium for ever. It’s like groundhog year. I don’t think I’m depressed (although I think I am menopausal). I can’t get an evening job or go to classes or anything even if they’re free, because of DD and the dog and I’m winding up the business and going to get a job (which does not fill me with enthusiasm, it must be said. I’m unlikely to able to land anything much beyond minimum wage), so it will get resolved one day, I know. It’s taking forever though. I have a fairly good attitude in that I know it’s got to be done and the only way out is through, etc etc. And I’m cheerful for the kid, and spend a lot of time with her. I count my blessings daily. We’re not actually starving. We have each other, a nice house in lovely countryside, nice friends and we love our dogs. I’ve always been happy with a simple life when we could travel a bit, and start new projects. I’m a fairly boring person I suppose! But bloody hell I’m bored of making meals out of nothing and thinking up free activities. I want a new challenge!