AIBU Only one not a bridesmaid

[TenPercent]

NC for this.
-Brothers wedding some years ago (close to brother/good relationship with bride).
-Two large families coming together, lots of siblings. I am the only female sibling on grooms side and was aged 21 at the time.
-Brides four sisters were MOH/bridesmaids. All other siblings on both sides had a role in the wedding party. I was the only sibling that had no role in the wedding.
-At the time I just assumed I wasn’t good enough to be included and didn’t think too much about it until more recently when someone pointed out to me that I was the only sibling excluded - now it upsets me for my younger self that I was left out and that I automatically made the assumption it was because I wasn’t as good as everyone else.
-I should add I’m very normal/average so wouldn’t have acted oddly/stood out/been difficult/ruined photos etc - also that I have been included in all other sibling wedding parties (for which I feel very honoured)
-Not a big issue but niggles at me a bit
-(and yes it isn’t lost on me that no one has the right to be included in a wedding party, it just feels a bit mean to leave only one sibling out - finances were not an issue).
AIBU? 😞

What did the wife's brothers do at the wedding? Assuming your brother had his brothers as ushers?

OP do you have sisters? It might be that bride picked bridesmaids and groom picked groomsmen so naturally groom's brothers were included and bride's sisters were - this is sad but it's common!

Don't take it as a reflection of you!

I left only my youngest sister out, I hope she wasn't hurt. To be honest she has always been a bit selfish and hard work and I was stressed enough as it is. We wanted people who would be there for us, not themselves. On the day of the wedding she surprised me by being helpful and fun and our relationship changed for the better.

Brides commonly only have their own family or close friends as bridesmaids.

There are no other wedding roles for an adult woman except doing readings or singing - were these “your thing” at 21.

I am not writing this because I agree, and of course things are changing and someone will know someone who had a woman usher, but generally this is not the case.

Be glad you got to be a normal guest. Be glad you have a good relationship with your brother and his wife.

Since it's the bride this is quite common that you weren't included Op. I said to my partner his sister wouldn't be a bridesmaid as I have many on my side that would come first. I would honestly rather not have a part in a wedding. Too stressful and I'd rather sit and eat and drink and not run around after the bride 🤣🤣 xx

My cousin did this to me when I was a teenager. Obviously as an adult I can see that nobody else would’ve cared, but it felt utterly humiliating to be at the time. And to add insult to injury, she asked my Mum to make the bridesmaid dresses.

How long ago was your brother’s wedding OP?

Clearly the bride chose her bridesmaids and your brother likely had no say.