To feel flat and depressed because of my weight

[Janinebutcher79]

I’m 22 stone 7lbs
iv out on 12 stone in the last ten years and feel awful
depressed and stuck in a cycle of emotional eating and drinking wine
the things is I feel so low that’s what keeps me going through each day

anyone have any ideas of how I can get slimmer and best depression
iv looked at slimming injections but they give you low energy

I think you should tackle the depression via your GP first.

When you're ready, I honestly don't think there is a quick fix or easy answer. It's just eating less than you use. I found it easier once I'd had some therapy to identify my triggers and weaknesses.

I agree - speak to your GP about the depression. CBT may help you, as you have some goals and there are steps you can take towards them.
Do you exercise at all? Doubling your daily steps would be a start in creating a calorie deficit. Cutting down on the wine so you only drink at weekends would remove a lot of empty calories from your diet.
I get it though - I gained 3 stone emotional eating and drinking my way through my divorce and am struggling to shift it. It’s an effort (yet so easy to put it on) but you deserve to feel happy in your own skin. That’s more of a luxury than wine and crisps.

Thing is the doctor doesn’t really help

Sorry you’re feeling so low. I do understand something of what you feel, and how hopeless it can all seem.

Firstly, it sounds like you would benefit from counselling to help deal with the depression and why you are using food and drink as an emotional crutch. Can you ask your gp?

It took 10 years to put on the weight, so don’t expect to lose it really quickly - remember that slow and steady wins the race. You have to break habits one by one.

My advice would be not to go on a strict diet as you will set yourself up to fail. Instead, what small changes can you start making tomorrow that are healthier? Eg can you go out for a walk every day? Switch to whole grains. Make yourself a fruit plate every day to snack on instead of sugary treats. Just choose one night a week that you can eat junk/takeout and cook the rest of the time. Obviously you know the areas you can change - you know what you need to do.

But my rule would be this: Each thing has to be a sustainable change that you feel you can stick to for the rest of your life.

Once you have gotten used to those changes, make some more. And so on.

If you mess up and have a gorge session, forgive yourself and move on. Having the odd blow out can be part of a healthy normal lifestyle - and you need to be aiming to get into a long term healthier way of living.

Yes it will probably take a couple of years, but you’ll have made changes for life, and won’t just put it all back on again. Time goes by so fast, so you’ll soon feel slimmer and healthier.

Wishing you all the best.

Not tackling the entire post but just the slimming injection ones: how much energy do you need? In my experience, I am no less energised than pre-injection and it affects everyone differently. If the weight is such an issue, wouldn't relatively minor side effects be tolerable?

Try to get some therapy to help with your emotions.
Do not buy or stock the unhealthy foods in your home.
Go walking when you would normally drink and overeat in evenings.
Start paying attention your calorie intake.
Drink more water.
Have a look online for healthy meal recipes that include foods you actually like.
Switch to low fat milk/spreads.
Stop using dips and sauces with food if you do.
Same for adding sugar or salt to food and drinks.
Look at joining a weight loss group if that would interest you.

Concentrate more on food than exercise for now.
Regular exercise is of course encouraged as much as possible! But it's more about the food intake at this stage.

Good luck op.

This is such good advice I have screenshot it. Thank you

I think I have very disordered eating and often wonder whether I really do need intervention so think about injection coikd help but I don’t want to feel tired and sick all the time .

which injections allegedly give low energy?

weight loss injection has shifted my weight almost effortlessly! and i'm in my 50's and work full time with a home/kids/animals to sort....i'm full of energy!

and being slimmer means i can move more

Saxenda has never caused me to feel more than slightly nauseous for a few hours at the very beginning of a low dose and zero changes to my energy levels.

Consider bariatric surgery. Beyond a certain weight, losing it by your own volition is really a losing battle. It’s very safe surgery these days and life changing.

If I could afford it and the time off work I would

Can I ask what you take please

I dont want to sound depressing and negative but OP will be given anti depressants (nothing wrong with that) which are notorious for weight gain, she might be offered some therapy if shes lucky but its more likely to take the form of a 6 week course of CBT which is useless for anything but the most straight forward of behavioural anxiety issues, session one is introduction, the last session is reflections and signposting, onlly leaving about 4 actual sessions.

OP have you thought about the saxenda and ozempic injections, you'll have to source the privately online but they cut your appetite and cravings.

Weight is so complicated and there could be many reasons for it and many ways to deal with it.
Consider addiction to ultra processed foods too. There was a podcast about this recently on bbc sounds. I found it very insightful and helpful in tackling my weight.

I take saxenda

Losing steadily with it too.

I think you need to do one thing at a time
I would start with the alcohol - it doesn't help if you're depressed and it's empty calories, so find something else. Paint your nails, have a long shower, read a book, anything that keeps you away from it
Find another drink that's a "treat" and lower calorie. Something as simple as flavoured fizzy water with loads of ice and a straw

Try and add stuff rather than taking away, so add fruit, add more veg, add more protein. You find then you are too full to eat the rubbish stuff!

It's hard, I'm a size 16 and naturally lazy but I have recently started (feb) exercising again and I am SO much happier. It's helping my mental health too. The first month was fucking awful, I was so unfit but the fitness came back pretty quick and even though I haven't lost weight, I feel better for it

Can’t recommend Mysimba (prescribed through Superdrug doctors) enough. It contains the drug which is given to withdrawing alcoholics and to be honest it has transformed my relationship with food in a matter of weeks and I am easily sticking to my recommended calories on my fitness pal. I was a food addict with disordered binge eating before taking this.

I’ve been off and on Saxenda privately since 2020 and even as a diabetic cannot say it made me low in energy. I’ve felt worse when I tried the shakes regimen. I managed to lose some weight last week, wasn’t even actively trying but that seems to have spurred me back on.

I’m in the States, so this might not be helpful, but I’ve been prescribed a medication used to treat ADHD, but also indicated for binge eating. The effect has been extraordinary. I used to feel obsessive about food and the constant restrict/binge cycle. This has totally taken that away. I’m tracking my calories, but it doesn’t feel onerous to eat healthy foods or track them. Before I felt like I just didn’t have the energy for that. I enjoy what I’m eating, but I feel satisfied when I’m done. So, I can eat one biscuit, and I don’t feel compelled to have more. It’s so freeing and for the first time in years I feel optimistic about my weight. It’s really worth considering prescription options, at least to see if you might be able to take steps in the right direction.

You don't need long times off work, I had 6 days between surgery and going back to work when I had a bypass.

Went to Lithuania, got a bank loan. The money I save on food pays the monthly repayments.

I wish I had done it 10 years earlier. I was around the same weight as you, I would seriously look into it op. Good luck whatever you decide!

Think I will give saxender a proper try

Good luck!

There's accounts on tiktok who post daily about their saxenda journey

A good insight

I am in a similar position to you and the best advice I have been given by am NHS nutritionist is not to focus on weight loss but on the quality of what I am eating. So for example If I fancy a dominos I am choosing a vegetarian pizza with some added chicken to make it filling. If I want ice-cream I add some fruit as well. That way there is no denial but you will feel fuller quicker.
My second piece of advice someone gave me once around mental health is to act happy. There is a good book by Dr David Hamilton called I love me which gives more details. I have found that by pushing myself to feel more positive, wearing the clothes I like and doing things I want to do it has improved my mental health. I still have down days but they are not as deep or as long as before and I can accept them as part of the ups and downs of life rather than getting stuck.
Finally I have retrained my social media accounts to be all around body acceptance and body positivity. There is no point me looking at size 6 people all day as I know that I won’t achieve that, but looking at body positive models and fashion I have found to be really inspiring.
Dont wait to loose weight to start living, start living! you will soon see a shift in your mindset and focus xx