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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend fb friends with ex but not me!!!

37 replies

KazzaN · 27/06/2022 10:18

I've been with my DP for four years.
We've had our ups and downs but love each other.
Last time we split up I deleted him off fb. When we got back together he refused to add me. He still refuses to add me. Won't tell me why.
He is however friends with his ex fiancée, whom he often calls his best friend.
They were together over 30 years ago for about 5 years, got engaged at one point then split up.
Years later they became friends again and he is godfather to her DD.
I was initially friends with her when I got together with my DP, then we fell out which suited me as I don't like her. She's incredibly sycophantic with my DP and laughs at everything he says, they go running together and he (casually!!!) mentioned he had gone for a drink with her the other day in the pub.
I don't think he's having sex with her, but it makes me very uncomfortable that they are so close given their shared history.
My friends think I'm crazy to put up with it, my daughter tells me to get a grip and that men and women are perfectly entitled to be friends.
HOWEVER being friends with her and not me on fb feels like the ultimate piss take in a long long line of (to me) piss takes!!!
AIBU??!?!

OP posts:
Amid · 27/06/2022 12:32

Sounds like a pretty shitty relationship all round.

What are the good things about it ?

HelloHeathcliffeItsMe · 27/06/2022 12:33

How many times have you split up? The fact you deleted him from Facebook gives a snapshot that perhaps there is petty behaviour coming from both sides and not just him? I've been with DH 8 years and can't say I've ever blocked or deleted him anywhere.

I do think it's odd he's not friends with you on Facebook but you did delete him first!

MissNothing1991 · 27/06/2022 12:37

KazzaN · 27/06/2022 10:37

WOW!!!!!!!!!
Fucking hell you ever heard the saying "be kind?!?!?"

Show quote history

Have you? Given the way you speak about your fellas ex ffs 🤣

WeeOrcadian · 27/06/2022 12:57

If you're old enough to have a child, who is old enough to have an opinion on this, you're old enough to realise that he's playing you for a mug

Oh, and get a hobby beyond social media - most of what you see on SM is fake, have a life outside of it, you'll enjoy it more, I guarantee it

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 27/06/2022 13:22

OP, your hyperbolic posts aside, your usage of exclamation marks are indicative of a propensity for melodrama.

Diggerdoodoo · 27/06/2022 13:30

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 27/06/2022 13:22

OP, your hyperbolic posts aside, your usage of exclamation marks are indicative of a propensity for melodrama.

It's hardly hyperbole, I'm explaining the situation!!!!!!!
And who doesn't like an explanation mark?!?!?!?
Some of these replies are SO mean, did you get massively bullied at school so in revenge you attack random people on Mumsnet?
In response, we have quite a volatile relationship as we are both strong minded and opinionated.
However our sex life is amazing, he makes me laugh, he takes care of me and vice versa.
The fb thing is not a deal maker it just irritates me.
Had I anticipated the level of vitriol my post would provoke I certainly wouldn't have posted it! Yes express your opinion but is there any reason to be so bloody nasty?

MissNothing1991 · 27/06/2022 13:32

Diggerdoodoo · 27/06/2022 13:30

It's hardly hyperbole, I'm explaining the situation!!!!!!!
And who doesn't like an explanation mark?!?!?!?
Some of these replies are SO mean, did you get massively bullied at school so in revenge you attack random people on Mumsnet?
In response, we have quite a volatile relationship as we are both strong minded and opinionated.
However our sex life is amazing, he makes me laugh, he takes care of me and vice versa.
The fb thing is not a deal maker it just irritates me.
Had I anticipated the level of vitriol my post would provoke I certainly wouldn't have posted it! Yes express your opinion but is there any reason to be so bloody nasty?

Show quote history

Name change fail

MissNothing1991 · 27/06/2022 13:41

Diggerdoodoo · 27/06/2022 13:30

It's hardly hyperbole, I'm explaining the situation!!!!!!!
And who doesn't like an explanation mark?!?!?!?
Some of these replies are SO mean, did you get massively bullied at school so in revenge you attack random people on Mumsnet?
In response, we have quite a volatile relationship as we are both strong minded and opinionated.
However our sex life is amazing, he makes me laugh, he takes care of me and vice versa.
The fb thing is not a deal maker it just irritates me.
Had I anticipated the level of vitriol my post would provoke I certainly wouldn't have posted it! Yes express your opinion but is there any reason to be so bloody nasty?

Show quote history

Also again... you're talking about people being nasty. Do you not think you were a bit nasty about said ex? Suited you that you fell out as you don't like her? Think she had a lucky escape personally! Probably knew you were melting his head.

"I was initially friends with her when I got together with my DP, then we fell out which suited me as I don't like her. She's incredibly sycophantic with my DP and laughs at everything he says"

TooBigForMyBoots · 27/06/2022 14:23

We don't do "Be Kind" here. There are threads about why.

RedWingBoots · 27/06/2022 14:39

In response, we have quite a volatile relationship as we are both strong minded and opinionated.

Mmm why did I guess that in my response.

OP if you don't trust him why are you with him?

Luidaeg · 27/06/2022 17:09

RedWingBoots · 27/06/2022 14:39

In response, we have quite a volatile relationship as we are both strong minded and opinionated.

Mmm why did I guess that in my response.

OP if you don't trust him why are you with him?

I asked that in my first post - but OP was so angry about me calling her needy, she didnt answer, and then didnt answer the next time either

based on this - I dont think you will get an answer

Fuzzyhippo · 27/06/2022 17:19

Maybe because he feels you'll just delete him again, so there's not much point. Been in this same situation, very on and off relationship and deleted him. He refused to add me back and said it's because he's tired of my games, can't be bothered to keep adding me everytime I deleted him during a 'break up'

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