Catastrophising

[daytimedreams]

I suppose I’m not looking for whether IBU and more for help.

i have a terrible problem with catastrophising problems and it’s becoming a problem.

I’ve always been a relatively anxious person but could keep a lid on it.

recently I notice that I’m slowly unable to do this. I’ll give an example.

im starting a new job at the start of August (a relatively senior management position) and I have a holiday booked for October. I have somehow got it into my head that the security in the airport on the way home will be terrible, we’ll miss the flight and I’ll be sacked as I’ll still be on a probationary period.

now I KNOW this must read as me being off my head but this is genuinely how my brain works.

it’s tiring and I’m finding I’m struggling to sleep. It’s also upsetting and I find myself crying in private moments/berating myself.

the example I’ve given is just one in a long line of things I catastrophise. My DH is helpful but also doesn’t really understand why I do it or what to say other than you’re making up scenarios and then making them a reality.

what can I do? Is anyone else like this?

CBT and citalopram was my answer….

there is quite a useful book called Understanding Anxiety that I found helpful ish. It’s hard when you have general anxiety but at least you recognize what you are doing.

Thoughts aren't facts. One of my personal mantras.

Would agree with poster above, CBT could be really helpful for you.

Thank you.

i definitely recognise it in myself and I’ve always let myself feel the feelings and then let them dissipate but recently I’ve found that harder. Because it’s happening too often

what would CBT do? Is this therapy?

Counselling would really help with this. I had a habit of imagining the worse and letting my mind run a million miles down the road and Counselling really helped me. He taught me to imagine l had all the tools l needed in my toolbox and when an incident arose l would just calmly reach into my toolbox and pick out what l needed. If that makes sense. Not to worry about stuff until it happened and then l would go into action. So, for example, if you were held up at the airport you would just deal with that at the time and it would all be fine. Workplaces know about the airport build ups so they would understand. He encouraged me to rein in my thoughts so as soon as my mind began to race ahead he would say..whoa, whoa where are you off to and gradually l began to be able to do that for myself. I am definitely much better and l can thank the Counselling for that.
Another saying that helps me is: who of you by worrying can add one day to your life? So l have come to a more peaceful place.

I can’t be very helpful, as i’m in the same place myself, but one helpful thing i’ve seen is that catastrophisers unconsciously build up the Worst inside their heads so that, when it 99% of the time doesn’t happen, they are rewarded with a little hit of dopamine as a reward. Which makes us do it again next time It is a loop that is hard to get out of.

Cbt is helpful for this. Helps you identify thought patterns and also realise that thoughts are not facts if that makes sense.

After years of doing this my friend has finally been diagnosed with Complex PTSD from the way her parents treat her when she was a child, starting about the age of 5 when her sibling was born.

I am exactly the same. I had to have CBT and counselling. CBT helped me to realise when I was catostrophising and how to change my mindset and the way I deal with it. I'm off the medication and do still catostrophise a bit but not to the same extent.

I can’t help OP I’m afraid. But I was dating someone who thought like this and sadly portrayed it all back on to how they thought I thought..it was hard and baffling for someone who doesn’t think like this.

Thanks everyone

@Equiphant perversely I think you’re right. I do wonder if it’s a coping mechanism and if it all goes to shit then I won’t feel so terrified because I have it all planned.

i know I said I’ve always been a worrier but I was completely blindsided about 6 years ago by the serious illness of a parent. One of those scenarios where someone is fine at 10am and by 10.20 they’re being blue lighted into the hospital. It was a traumatic period made worse by the fact I was pregnant at the time and had just had a miscarriage so everything seemed raw and nothing was going right.

i always wonder if I’ve never quite got over it because I didn’t see it coming and now as a method self protection I go for worst case scenario.

I've found my people as they say .

I don't think I get a dopamine hit when things don't go wrong ,but I am reassured to be prepared in case they do .
I was drawn to @junebirthdaygirl's post ·
I had a habit of imagining the worse and letting my mind run a million miles down the road and Counselling really helped me. He taught me to imagine l had all the tools l needed in my toolbox and when an incident arose l would just calmly reach into my toolbox and pick out what l needed.
But on reflection ,knowing me ,I'd see it as a challenge to always be prepared for the worst .
I never look forward to anything as a means of self protection .Spend a lot of time working out endless Plan B ,C,D ..

@peridito

im the same. My DH thinks I have no joy in me because I rarely get excited by things because I worry too much.

at least we’re not alone

That's sad @daytimedreams . I wonder if it would help if you had a calm talk about it ?Perhaps acknowledge that it must be hard for him and tell him how much you appreciate his support .Tell him that you hate feeling like this and that you do try to control it ?

Is there anything he could do or say that would help when you're feeling like this ?

Would making it a sort of joke between you help ?Never mind security delays ,you'll miss the plane ,the plane will crash ? Typing that I can feel how that approach would just suggest more anxieties for me ,so probably ignore me .Just brainstorming here .
Could he help with the "tool kit" approach and reassure you by reminding you eg that delays would be understood by your employer ,you would be able to ring them ? (And next time fly back the day before you have to be at work ?)

Can you calm yourself by reminding yourself that you've got through things going wrong in the past ?

This is really interesting and makes a lot of sense!