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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My brother has sold my deceased parents house without telling me

158 replies

Coffeecup123456 · 26/06/2022 16:31

Not sure what to do or where I stand. My brother who I chose to go nc with & I were made joint executors. I relinquished my role after my DM died as he is very untrustworthy and I was concerned about my name being attached to probate & him not doing things as he should. He is very controlling and would not have involved me at all. Since then I discovered that for 3.5 years he was renting it out. Solicitor said I could only regain some control if I followed a lengthy /costly process of renaming myself to be an executor. Without that it was down to him doing the right thing by informing me of what was happening with my parents assets. Out of curiosity I just looked up their house. It has been sold within the last 6 months. There is many reasons that I won’t go into here that I have avoided my brother at all costs. I would love to know if there’s anything I can do or somewhere I can go to find out more. He would not willingly share any info and would be prone to lying.

OP posts:
darlingdodo · 26/06/2022 16:32

What did the will state?

Charley50 · 26/06/2022 16:32

Who are the beneficiaries of your mum's estate?

girlmom21 · 26/06/2022 16:34

You chose to relinquish your role and have no contact with him. I'm not sure why you expected him to keep in contact with you when you knew how unreliable and untrustworthy he is.

TronDeReplay · 26/06/2022 16:35

If you are a beneficiary of the will, then not being executor shouldn't affect what you are meant to receive.

DownNative · 26/06/2022 16:37

darlingdodo · 26/06/2022 16:32

What did the will state?

OP and brother were made joint executors of their parents' estate, but OP gave her role as executor up. Brother was then sole executor and in charge of it all.

OP made a big mistake relinquishing her role as joint executor. 🤷‍♂️

Itiswhatitisuntilitisnt · 26/06/2022 16:38

he doesn’t need to inform you he’s sold the house but we need to know what the will states?

if you are entitled to any of the estate you can ask who the probable solicitor is and speak to them

UWhatNow · 26/06/2022 16:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MorrisZapp · 26/06/2022 16:39

Are you a beneficiary?

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 26/06/2022 16:41

@DownNative the point about being an executor is less relevant than who inherits. The executor has a legal duty to execute the will as stated. So if OP is a beneficiary, she will need to find out what happened to the proceeds from the sale.

Bellyups · 26/06/2022 16:43

Be relinquishing you role as executor, surely you would have realised that this would happen? Speak to a solicitor asap

BobLemon · 26/06/2022 16:44

what do you want to achieve?

Octomore · 26/06/2022 16:44

You relinquished the executor role, but that is not the same as giving up anything you were entitled to as a beneficiary.

Were you a beneficiary? If so, I'm confused as to why you've let so much time go by before wondering where your share of the estate is.

IncompleteSenten · 26/06/2022 16:45

If the will states you should have a share then you need to either contact him or have a solicitor do it.

Octomore · 26/06/2022 16:45

And yes, if you were a beneficiary then you need to engage a solicitor ASAP

Octomore · 26/06/2022 16:46

DownNative · 26/06/2022 16:37

OP and brother were made joint executors of their parents' estate, but OP gave her role as executor up. Brother was then sole executor and in charge of it all.

OP made a big mistake relinquishing her role as joint executor. 🤷‍♂️

Show quote history

I don't think you understood the question the PP was asking.

carefullycourageous · 26/06/2022 16:47

YABU expecting him to involve you, as you voluntarily gave up your executor status.

YANBU to expect him to share the proceeds with you if you should be a beneficiary.

You need further legal advice.

Original poster
Coffeecup123456 · 26/06/2022 16:48

He and I were 50/50 beneficiaries. I suffered ptsd after his behaviour around their deaths, he was frightening and I felt that I had no choice but to go full nc. He told me the house was worth nothing and was going to be taken by the bank due to the amount of my parents debts when they died. At the time I felt no amount of money was worth needing to be in contact with him and made peace with that. However, I’m stronger now and no longer scared of him. I can walk away but it will definitely be walking away from a narcissist bully, who for want of a better word, won.

It was foolish (in monetary terms) relinquishing being a joint executor but at the time I as in self preservation mode.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 26/06/2022 16:49

Oh good luck. I am still waiting on my brother to give me the remainder of my inheritance from 9 years ago. It would cost more to sue him/get solicitor involved but its still thousands of pounds he's essentially stolen from me/other siblings.

glowbabe · 26/06/2022 16:51

Gov.uk you can look up a will and down load it .

MultiBird · 26/06/2022 16:51

Coffeecup123456 · 26/06/2022 16:48

He and I were 50/50 beneficiaries. I suffered ptsd after his behaviour around their deaths, he was frightening and I felt that I had no choice but to go full nc. He told me the house was worth nothing and was going to be taken by the bank due to the amount of my parents debts when they died. At the time I felt no amount of money was worth needing to be in contact with him and made peace with that. However, I’m stronger now and no longer scared of him. I can walk away but it will definitely be walking away from a narcissist bully, who for want of a better word, won.

It was foolish (in monetary terms) relinquishing being a joint executor but at the time I as in self preservation mode.

If you were NC and he is now sole executor, he's done what the should have done? If there was really that much debt, it might be the bank, rather than your brother who has sold the house.

Stressybetty · 26/06/2022 16:52

You can view or obtain a copy of the probate document to see what he's declared. www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

Octomore · 26/06/2022 16:52

Ok, I think you need to engage a solicitor and address this through them. Maybe he's telling the truth (seems unlikely), but you need to be sure. I wouldn't engage with him directly because that will be more stress and unpleasantness for you - a solicitor will be worth the money to save you that.

ChicCroissant · 26/06/2022 16:53

Regardless of the fact you are no contact with him (or the reasons) he's not obliged to tell you what he's doing with the estate while he's dealing with it as the executor.

If you have renounced being an executor I assume you've seen a copy of the will and know if you are a beneficiary. He is responsible for distributing the assets (if there are any) to the beneficiaries).

Hellocatshome · 26/06/2022 16:56

If you were 50/50 beneficiaries you would only get 50% of what was left after the estate was settled. I would write to him asking him if the estate is now settled and what the balance was. Only you will know wether you believe whatever the answer is you get. The problem is as you are no longer an executor you can only rely on him executing the will correctly or paying a solicitor to investigate if he has.

Octomore · 26/06/2022 16:57

From my reading of the OP it appears that the parents death was 3.5 years ago, he's been renting it out since then, and only sold it more recently.

This makes it highly unlikely (impossible even?) that he is telling the truth.

It also means that he has not distributed the assets to the beneficiaries

Definitely engage a solicitor OP