Hi all,
I know this isn't the right place to post it but I wasn't sure exactly where it belonged so if someone can tell me, I'll report it and get it moved.
It is really long so please bear with me but I'm hoping someone can shed some light on what diagnosis I should seek for my mum or if I should go to the doctors with general information and see if there's help available but hopefully my post will explain more. I apologise in advance if I use incorrect language as I'm very new to all of this.
A bit of background on my mum - she was in a care home from 14-18, she was neglect and abused by her family sadly she met my dad at 18 when he was 50 so there was a weird dynamic of their relationship and he hid her vulnerabilities and sort of kept her "hidden".
My dad died last March so there's a lot that's come to light that I hadn't realised.
I'm going to try and explain some of my mums behaviour which makes me think they may be a learning disability or autism or something I don't really know.
She's always been very childlike, DH says we're more like sisters than mother and daughter because of how immature my mother is. She just doesn't act the way a 49 year old would be expected to, her mental age seems to be of a teenager.
She cannot read or write well, it had to be very basic words but even then she spells them I correct but is pretty good at maths.
She doesn't like a change to a routine or plan so if you say oh we'll take you shopping at 4pm Thursday and you're not there at 4 or you've had to change it she will have a melt down like she can't cope and it can take a while to calm her down.
She has a gambling problem, she's very fixated on playing bingo on the computer or buying scratch cards. I have had to take over her finances for this reason - for example I found out she spend £2000 at the top shop over a three month period.
She's a compulsive liar and comes out with really out there stories and if you pop holes or know she's lying she'll become very defensive and will argue until she's blue in the face almost like a child would.
She doesn't know how to dress, she'll wear the same clothes days on end and inappropriate clothing for example when it was really hot last week she had her coat on. It's really hard to get her to bathe and she has mullet and she refuses to have her hair cut.
She's a fussy eater, won't eat proper food but eats take aways, McDonald's, crisps etc
She sleeps most of the day, I can ring her at 11am or even 3pm and she'll be asleep.
She struggles in social situations, she can say somethings and you genuinely have no idea what she's talking about, she'll repeat herself constantly, she makes inappropriate comments (she told a neighbour he had gotten fat) and she doesn't understand sarcasm.
She can fly off the handle very quickly she has no emotional control and will scream and shout for no reason.
I can't think of anymore off the top of my head and honestly I've never had much patience for her as throughout my childhood she was abusive and neglectful but now I'm older I am realising that there's a problem that she can't help but not sure what to do.
She is currently under social services and the enablement team are coming out on Tuesday but I know without a diagnosis help is limited but I'm not entirely sure what to say to the GP about a referral especially with it being an adult whose almost 50.
Has anyone had any experience or advice on how to handle this going forward?
Thank you