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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you heard a neighbours smoke alarm at 2am.

39 replies

Smokealarmwakeup · 26/06/2022 02:29

Name changed for this.

I was woken up by a beeping, I realised it was a neighbours smoke alarm. I immediately woke up DP and asked him to go knock on the door (my foot is in a cast and I’m really slow on my crutches as my hands are blistered). He point blank refused as “nobody wants waking up at 2am”.

I got straight out of bed and went round to knock on the door to see if they were awake and all was ok, if they didn’t answer I would have called 999. They answered the door and all was fine, their teenager had burnt toast and they couldn’t stop the alarm.

On return DP is saying I look like a nosey neighbour and I was ridiculous for going round. He is also grumpy I woke him because he won’t get back to sleep now.

Was IBU for going round and knocking on the door at 2am? DP genuinely thinks it was an extreme reaction!

OP posts:

user1477249785 · 26/06/2022 02:33

You absolutely weren't being unreasonable. Your neighbours will be hugely grateful that you cared.

HerRoyalNotness · 26/06/2022 02:35

Better to go and it not be needed than leave your neighbours to potentially die in a fire i’d have thought!

AgentProvocateur · 26/06/2022 02:36

Definitely the right thing to do.

Lindy2 · 26/06/2022 02:37

I would have done the same.

An alarm at 2am that's not being turned off is alerting everyone to a problem for a reason.

They could have been out and their house be on fire. Of course it makes sense to check.

I think they'd be grateful.

nometo4 · 26/06/2022 02:38

YANBU. Your DP was probably just grumpy about being woken up.

scarletisjustred · 26/06/2022 02:44

Your husband must be on the stupid side. How did he think it would be so much better to let them burn to death rather than ringing the neighbour's door bell when there was a continuing smoke alarm? Imagine giving evidence at the inquest if it was a real fire and saying you didnt want to disturb them.

Saracen · 26/06/2022 02:46

YANBU. That is the entire point of a smoke alarm.

I would wait about 1-2 minutes before banging on the door, because people do often burn toast. But no longer than that. It's unusual to be unable to switch the alarm off quickly. An alarm which goes off for more than a couple of minutes is very likely to indicate trouble.

FavouritePi · 26/06/2022 02:47

Your DH is wrong or perhaps grouchy/lazy.

I can't vouch for it's authenticity but there's a ring doorbell video going around of a lady waking up her neighbour and the children by banging on the door due to a fire. They were all just sleeping through it.

I'd never be mad at a neighbour checking on my security or fire alarm to make sure my family was safe.

Saracen · 26/06/2022 02:48

It's not just about saving your neighbours either, is it?

If a fire started in their house and they weren't at home, ignoring their alarm means that fire will be uncontrollable by the time it reaches you!

Saracen · 26/06/2022 02:50

Your DH makes no sense at all. He thinks you shouldn't have gone round in case of waking them up and annoying them? If it was just a nuisance alarm because they burned the toast, they are already awake anyway!

Bournetilly · 26/06/2022 03:01

YANBU an alarm at that time that isn’t stopping would be worrying.
Your DH is saying they wouldn’t want to be woken up at 2am by your knocking but they would already be awake with the alarm anyway (so long as they were ok)
Better to be safe

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 26/06/2022 03:03

Does your Dh not know that whole point of smoke alarms is to give an early warning? To save lives???? A false alarm is better than being dead.

you did the right thing. He’s an idiot.

ventreàterre · 26/06/2022 03:13

Your husband is a grump! It's unpleasant to be woken at 2 in the morning, but a smoke alarm should be taken seriously. Even setting aside the neighbours, fires can spread. I suppose your husband would rather just let your own home potentially burn down, too, instead of getting up and doing something about it?

Ponderingwindow · 26/06/2022 03:26

Does he not realize that if the smoke alarm is close enough for you to hear and there actually is a fire, that you are also in danger?

NumberTheory · 26/06/2022 03:30

Your DP is an arse.

Good on you for caring about your neighbour's lives. They're probably embarrassed about the toast but are lucky to have a good neighbour living next to them.

StoneofDestiny · 26/06/2022 07:52

You did the right thing. Your husband sounds selfish

DisgruntledPelican · 26/06/2022 07:55

Ponderingwindow · 26/06/2022 03:26

Does he not realize that if the smoke alarm is close enough for you to hear and there actually is a fire, that you are also in danger?

This. I live in a semi (and the non-attached neighbour is very close) so a neighbour’s fire would affect me!

LilianLenton · 26/06/2022 08:00

I would think it's more likely that it's someome who's had too much wine, or a teenager, trying to make toast or something. But yes, if the smoke alarm is going off, they aren't likely to be asleep so ringing the doorbell isn't going to wake them up as they'll be awake already. And if it's a real fire they'll probably appreciate any assistance you can give, whether they're sober or otherwise.

Your DH sounds like he's not actually thought about it. To be fair, it was 2am, so he also didn't want waking at that time either. But yes, bit of a ridiculous thing to say really.

lemons44 · 26/06/2022 08:02

I know somebody who called 999 when they heard a neighbours smoke alarm. Turns out there was a fire and the neighbour was unconscious. She basically saved their life. So no YANBU.

JustLyra · 26/06/2022 08:02

Yeah a sustained smoke alarm should never be ignored imo.

especially in an attached house - if they were away for the weekend and there was a fire your house is next!

carefullycourageous · 26/06/2022 08:05

You did the right thing - sometimes teenagers sleep through alarms that easily wake adults, so it could have been a real issue that you heard first. Where is the harm in checking someone is not burning in their bed?

Your DH is an absolute arsehole.

PriamFarrl · 26/06/2022 08:19

They could easily have already been overcome by smoke and therefore be in serious danger. As for ‘no one wants waking up at 2am’. If they aren’t awake then there is a problem.

User0610134049 · 26/06/2022 08:20

I would have done something, at least gone and had a sniff/checked if I could hear someone awake and all seemed ok. May not have actually knocked

Augend23 · 26/06/2022 08:27

Not unreasonable at all - either something is wrong in which case they need to be awake, or something isn't wrong in which case they need to shut their smoke alarm off. I wouldn't go down literally on the first beep but I can usually get a burnt toast/smoky bacon alarm off within about 15s so it wouldn't take long for me to get worried.

Original poster

Smokealarmwakeup · 26/06/2022 14:38

I think he was half asleep! He told me about a weird dream this morning which was that…. So we can let him off I think

OP posts:

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