Grandparents favouring grandchildren

[BiscoffSundae]

Would this bother anyone else as I’ve been biting my tongue about it for a while but my mums blatant favouritism is starting to bother me. My mum never has my children ever, it’s just excuse after excuse and I often get reminded that they are my responsibility and nothing to do with her and her classic line is “YOU chose to have them” however none of this seems to apply to my brother and she has his two children all the time, every Monday without fail she has them whilst him and his partner work, and then she has them regular for sleepovers etc so they get a break, she constantly puts up pics of their children on SM but never any of mine she never has them ever. Does anyone else has a parent like this? Aibu to find this upsetting that she has no interest in my children?

Have you asked her specifically why it is that she has her other grandchildren so often and not yours?

I'd totally call her out on that! Fancy saying that to you but not your brother, did she favour him as a child?

Yes brother is the golden child anyway (he is the oldest) but I haven’t specifically asked her why she has theirs and not mine as thought it would come across as jealousy but I have asked her why she never has mine and I get told I chose to have them, my responsibility etc I’m a single parent and they are a couple so I’m not sure why she helps them more sil also has a mum and sisters who help a lot and I have no one. It was just today seeing all these pics she’s put on WhatsApp of them having a day out yet she never takes mine anywhere I just get told you “made your bed.”

I've been exactly where you are. It's really painful and you have to except that is what it is. Tell your Mum you have noticed she priorities your siblings children. And then wait for her (probably denial) response.
Then next evidence based opportunity bring it up again.

how is your relationship with her? was she against you having children ? (you mentioned your a single mum and the comment of you made your bed where is that coming from?)

distance yourself from her for your children's sake as the disparity will only further hurt them

No actually she always wanted me to have kids as I was the last one to have kids and it was constant oh I’m never going to see grandchildren from you, when will you have kids etc She made loads of promises about how involved she would be! she was a single mum herself so can’t really judge me for being one she blames me for my ex not being involved for not “picking better” despite the fact she also raised us alone so you would think she would have more Understanding but unfortunately not

Definitely ask her. In fact I'd be calling and asking outright asap.... That's disgraceful behaviour.

Then if she doesn't change I'd walk away from her and keep her out of your kids' lives. Letting them witness blatant favouritism will just hurt them

How old are the children involved? There is a world of difference between having a 2 year-old sleep over compared to a 10 year-old. A toddler is hard work and a 10 year old is independent and take little looking after.

Likewise the character of the children too. Is it a bit like play dates? I.e. there are some kids I’ve had round my home and I’ve told my children they’ll never be allowed back round again due to their disrespectful behaviour and rude attitude towards me, and bullying of my other children.

But if latter is true I don’t know why your mum wouldn’t just say so.

as others have said you’re just going to have to ask her about it when a situation arises again.