My partners snoring is making me angry.

[peachy3]

I have an almost three month old in his cot on one side of me who is sound asleep and my partner and his ridiculous snoring on the other side of me. Like snoring so loud and horrible that it genuinely sounds painful. We had many arguments when I was pregnant as I asked and asked and asked over and over if he would go to the GP to try to do something about it as I physically cannot sleep, I was exhausted, really heavy and in agony and all I wanted to do was sleep. He kept telling me he would go and then never did. He thinks I’m silly asking him to see a doctor and yet if this continues I’m going to end up seeing a doctor because I’m getting little to no sleep every night and I’m running on empty 24/7. I’m actually starting to despise him, which might sound a bit extreme, but when you have a 3 month old who only wakes up once at night and generally sleeps for 7-8 hours at night, you would think I’m so lucky right? Wrong. I’m being kept awake all night by the inconsiderate nob head who won’t see a doctor about his snoring so that I can sleep! And the worst thing is that I can’t even send him out to the sofa because believe it or not it echos through the wall louder than it is when he’s next to me. I’m struggling to contain the anger and am seriously considering leaving him. I’ve had enough, I just want some sleep.

YANBU.
It took me years of cajoling but I finally got DP to go to a sleep clinic. Turns out he has something called hypopnea. It's worse when he sleeps on his back so now he sleeps with a tennis ball tied against his back, works a treat!

Anyway, no one should have to suffer sleep deprivation like this, you simply cannot function without sleep. Saying he will book an appointment then not doing it is passive aggressive behaviour. I would ask him why he thinks it's ok not to seek help when he knows it's impacting you. It's not just the snoring, it's the lack of care for its impact on you that's the issue. Either h gets help or that's the end of your relationship.

Yanbu.
I have sympathy for snorers when they get given a hard time because they can’t help doing it. But if they won’t even see a GP and try to sort it out them my sympathy goes out of the window.

I snore horrifically but saw the GP, underwent a sleep assessment and was diagnosed with sleep apnoea. Now I use a cpap machine and rarely disturb my DH.

Do you have a spare room OP?

Get the cot, put it in the spare room with you and get some sleep.

Or move the cot to the living room and sleep on the sofa.

You CANNOT risk your health like this. You need to be fighting fit for your baby.

In the long run he needs to move out of your room. For tonight, get some sleep.

Also my OH snores like an absolute walrus. It sounds like he is going to die.

I use silicone ear plugs and they work really well. Not sure if you'd wake up for the baby though...

I feel your pain! My relationship was on it's last legs when my partner finally went and got checked out. There was no place in the house I could not hear it. He got diagnosed wth sleep apnoea and has a cpap machine

I think if he really won't do anything, you do need to leave him as you cannot afford the slerp deprivation.

I have to go to bed before my husband. If I'm not asleep before him, I don't sleep. I absolutely feel your pain. It gives me such rage.
If you have a spare room, send him in there. Or send him onto the sofa if he refuses to get checked out.

I feel your pain. Like your DH, my DH's snoring is unbelievably loud...how the fuck do they sleep thru the noise yet wake the whole frigging house?!! I know he cant help it as such but I used to get so angry I ended up punching him every night; he'd have to go downstairs to the sofa. I had days where I couldn't bring myself to speak to him; I was raging!! He'd say he'd see the doc but never would.

We've been together over 20 years and for 16 of those years I've worn ear plugs...they have helped but I can still hear him through them. I dread holidays so always book extra room so I can get peace and quiet.

In the end I told him if he doesn't sort it then we'll have to re-think our future together. Sounds extreme but I was prepared to split up over it; my mental health was suffering as a result of having shit sleep. It wasn't the fact that he snored, it was the fact that he knew how upsetting and distressing I found it but did fuck all about it. He realised I was serious so has consulted a specialist dentist and is getting fitted with a bespoke mouth/jaw device that will stop his lower jaw collapsing back into his throat when he sleeps, which causes the snoring. It's called somnowell. Expensive but it's last ditch attempt!

YANBU at all. It seriously will affect your health as well as his if he doesn't sort it.

Google Berlin and epworth questionnaires and fill them in, that's a start. It's what the GP would ask for anyway.

Or, alternatively, sleep on the sofa yourself.

Agree with PP that this has caused major relationship issues, esp when we moved in. Sleep is so so so important.

Why are all 3 of you in one bedroom?

As pps have said, sleep in separate rooms! Some men get arsey about it as it's a slur on their 'manhood.' But fuck 'em. If they insist on being snoring old buffalos, they sleep alone. End of.

My DH refused to see a GP too, so he sleeps in the spare room now.
The resentment is real !

Mine starts off in our bed but goes into the spare room when he snores (which sounds like a bloody tractor is in the room!) Keeps saying he will see the doctor. I'm still waiting.

If he hadn't of agreed to go into the other room, I think we may be divorced by now.